La Vie en Rose
by Noacat
Summary: [SessKag] An innocent game of tag. A chance meeting with the Western Lord's ward change everything for her. What lies between childhood innocence and jaded adulthood and when do you stop looking at the world through rose colored glasses? ON HOLD.
1. Early Summer Tag

She ran. Her feet connected with the ground, digging deeply into it, pressing the dirt to drive her faster. Inside her skull, her blood pounded in her ears and the harsh gasps that came from her throat nearly deafened her. It hurt a bit to breathe but she pushed herself harder all the same. Her legs were beginning to ache and it wouldn't be long before she tired, but she couldn't stop. A sound came from behind her, spurring her on. Furrowing her brow, she made a panicked little gasp before putting on a short burst of speed. He was closing in on her...it was only a matter of time.

Her eyes blurred a little and she felt the searing need for water burn in her throat. She couldn't pass out...just a little farther...Her foot caught on a rock and she cursed as she tumbled to the ground in a heap. She cried out as she tried to control her fall as she'd been taught, landing hard on her shoulder. Groaning, she tried to force herself up. She couldn't be caught, not like this...it was just too humiliating. She hissed in pain as she pushed herself up, lifting a hand to inspect her injured arm. The grass rustled, and her injury was quickly forgotten. He was close. Her eyes darted around, searching. Why did she have to be so clumsy? Where was he? _Get up, dammit, just get up and_...

A bundle of fur hit her at roughly the speed of light, toppling her back into the grass. She squealed as she fell over, her back digging into the hard ground as she landed. Her eyes squeezed shut as she prepared for the inevitable.

"TAG! YOU'RE IT!!"

She felt a small hand pat the top of her forehead before the slight weight left her chest. Kagome sighed and sat up in time to see the small fox demon become a red streak as he ran away giddily. A light laugh escaped her lips.

"YOU BETTER RUN FASTER THAN THAT, SHIPPOU!!"

The last two and a half hours had been pure and utter bliss. A welcome break from the relentless drudgery of shard hunting that she looked forward to, on the rare occasions when they were allowed such free time. She smiled slowly before dusting herself off and chasing after him, her mind pausing to think as her body surrendered to the chase. Kagome had learned long ago to think and act at the same time.

The last two years sometimes seemed like a dream that was alternately exciting and horrible. When she was younger, Kagome Higurashi entertained thoughts of living in another era, what girl didn't? She used to close her eyes at night and imagine what it was like. Modern day Japan was sometimes so cold and brash and without romance. Everyone was always so hurried, trying to get where they had to go. There was the ever present stress of her many exams and it was nice to get away from all that, to think back to a time when things were simpler. It was the lack of complexity that charmed her.

But reality and dreams have little to do with each other and everyday she learned this lesson with brutal clarity. The past was nowhere you wanted to be. It was dirty, violent and nothing like the movies or comic books told you. Those things were constructed upon a romantic image of the past. Taking only that which was palatable to the modern eye and pushing the more detestable elements under the rug. Looking at that simpler time with rose colored glasses, she saw now how foolish she was to dream like that. She'd taken her own time sorely for granted, that was for sure.

Still, there were some parts of traveling in the feudal era that weren't so bad. This was one of them. Kagome followed the blur of red into the nearby forest, farther away from the camp made by the rest of her friends. In the back of her mind, she knew they probably shouldn't be wandering so far, but right now she didn't much care. Inuyasha had been ruder than usual lately and she was feeling rather peevish at the moment.

Four days ago they'd run across Naraku's fortress...or what was left of it. There had been a vicious fight, which Inuyasha seemed bound and determined not to talk about. The most she got out of him was that Naraku was there, as was his half brother, there was a fight and Naraku got away. All things considered, she felt lucky she got that much out of him. He was grumpy and uncommunicative after that and had spurred the group on, hoping against hope to find Naraku's trail. It was obvious they'd done their enemy great harm, wounded him severely and if they played their cards right, they could corner Naraku while he was weak. But there was no trail to follow and as the days passed, this fact became increasingly obvious and with that realization, Inuyasha became harder and harder to deal with. The situation had finally blown up yesterday, when they ran across Kikyo, who apparently was drawn here...for whatever reason she was. Kagome didn't like to think about it. Kikyo's reasoning for doing anything was beyond her and she viciously wanted it to stay that way. It was bad enough that they could practically be twins, if she had to think like the undead priestess...well that would just be the last straw.

There wasn't much to say about the encounter. Well, there probably was but she had managed to block it all out. In fact, she hadn't even been listening. While Kikyo and Inuyasha exchanged words and threats, Kagome had found a sudden interest in her shoes that defied all reason. There was a new stain on her left shoe and she was sure this time that she wouldn't be able to scuff it away. The feudal era was murder on suede.

She knew the basics. Kikyo had probably felt the rise in demonic power that went along with a vicious fight between powerful youkai and she had come to investigate. Finding Naraku's castle abandoned and in ruins, she had been wandering around, looking for signs of the evil hanyou and turning up nothing, she had decided to leave when she felt Inuyasha's presence. Never one to leave well enough alone, Kikyo decided for a nice, friendly visit to tell them all things they knew already....and of course her obligatory threat to drag Inuyasha to hell and his requisite response that he'd go willingly.

Sometimes she really, really hated her life.

Kagome pushed the thoughts aside, as they threatened to make her think about deeper things...and thinking in general was something she'd tried to avoid lately. Right now, there was nothing but this game and the afternoon. She was free right now and she'd be damned if she let _him_ ruin yet another perfectly good day.

And it was a perfect day. She breathed in deeply, forgoing running for a leisurely stroll. Shippou was far ahead of her and she had no real hope of catching the tiny fox demon. He was much too fast...but she didn't mind acknowledging that fact. Besides, he'd get bored if she let him wait long enough and go looking for her on his own. Ever since she'd met the fox kit, he'd been permattached to her side--glued to her as if she were a life line of sorts. In a way, she was. The poor kid had lost his entire family and Kagome was really the only one who treated him with anything resembling true sympathy.

Inuyasha plainly didn't care about him and had found him to be a nuisance right from the start. He fought with Shippou like an uncouth, older brother, which at times could be as annoying as it was amusing. Miroku was friendly enough, but he tended to keep people at arm's length. Kagome had noticed that fact straight away...and she understood. His life was bound to be short and his death violent, and so he dealt with it in the best way he could, though she really did wish that dealing with it didn't involve as much ass groping as it did. Sango was warm and affectionate as she could be, but as of late, she'd become distant. Her eyes had become dull and there was heaviness in her step. She hadn't even beaned Miroku that hard this morning when his hands roamed where they shouldn't have. Worse, she didn't even have the energy to accuse him of being a perverted monk. Kagome was beginning to worry about her, actually.

Again, it all had to do with what happened four days ago. Kagome couldn't imagine what the demon hunter was going through...and she didn't want to. The very idea of her own little brother becoming a helpless puppet to a demented half-demon, it was sickening. Sango was a stronger woman than she was...Kagome didn't know what she'd do if something like that happened to Souta. No matter how annoying her kid brother could be, she loved him and she knew she'd die inside if anything awful befell him. She felt the same way about Shippou...speaking of which, she began to look around for the kit, worried that he'd run too far. He was a bit of a baby sometimes and she didn't want him to lost...he was so much like her little brother. She smiled, her fingers teasing the tops of the grass as she strolled towards the forest.

In a way, she'd kind of assigned Shippou the role of her little brother in the feudal era. She took care of him like she took care of Souta. Actually, she was a little nicer to Shippou, but she'd never tell anyone else that. He needed her. She realized that a long time ago. Everyone here could get along without her. Inuyasha, Miroku, Sango...all of them she loved like family but she knew that she was more of a burden to them than anything else. Her only real purpose in the group was to detect the jewel shards...it was really the only thing she did with reasonable skill. If she wasn't here, well...finding the shards would be harder for them, but they'd manage. Probably do a damn sight better without her. She'd thought about that often lately. Kagome was acutely aware that she didn't really belong here and all in all, had very little to offer anyone other than her tenuous connection to the shikon jewel and her seemingly innate skills, which she couldn't even control half the time. The only one who really needed her was Shippou. If she wasn't here, he wouldn't have anyone...and if he wasn't there, well...she had Inuyasha, sort of. She'd gone along with all of this in the vain hope that something more would happen between them. But everyday that hope became less certain, and she began to see that whatever affection was between them wouldn't lead to anything long lasting.

Kagome was angry at herself. She'd promised herself she wouldn't do this but she did it anyway. Gods, what a fool she was! What was wrong with her? Really, was there something so terrible that kept her from being loved? What was it that held Inuyasha back? Was it the fact that she looked so much like his beloved Kikyo and was so different, or worse, was it because she was the same? A shadow. She was a shadow of Kikyo to him, or maybe she was just hiding in her shadow. Either way, she knew that whenever he looked at her, he saw Kikyo. Or at least a faded photocopy of his priestess, and it killed her. She didn't belong. There was only room for one Kikyo and Kagome was a pathetic replacement for the original. Some days, she considered just giving the feudal era the figurative raspberry, taking her things and going home.

Kagome sighed wearily as she entered the forest proper. It was pointless to think about the should haves and could haves when there was really nothing she could do about it anyway. Reflecting on the past was one thing but obsessing over it was another and doing either in the ACTUAL past was just downright confusing. Her brain hurt just thinking about it. It was better to just simplify things. Trees pretty. Fire bad. Besides, she wasn't really being fair.

Inuyasha _did_ care for her, so what if it might not be in the way she wanted. He was her friend. Her _BEST_ friend and that counted for something. And Kikyo? She wanted to hate the woman she was a reincarnate of but she just couldn't. The undead priestess had her own reasons for doing the things that she did and Kagome pretty much agreed that if she was in the same position, she might not act so differently. And it wasn't just the whole Inuyasha thing either. There were more similarities than differences, which was kind of hard to come to terms with but she'd done her best, or at least gone as far as she felt sane enough to. Kagome would only admit in her most secret heart that there were things she and Kikyo shared that had nothing to do with a certain hanyou. With painful silence, she drew out the little bottle that contained the few jewel shards they'd collected. This, they had this in common. Both of them were destined to protect the shikon jewel.

Kikyo had until her death and now her duty fell to Kagome. They were tied to each other through this jewel...same responsibility. Same burden. Sometimes it was more of a curse than anything else. It was easy to see how Kikyo must have felt all those years ago, chained to this awful thing that brought only pain and misery. She rolled the bottle in her hand, watching with fascination as the shards tumbled over each other inside. They winked and sparkled as the sun hit them and she could almost fool herself into believing in their beauty.

She really didn't belong here. Every time she left and came back, it became more obvious or maybe it didn't. Maybe she did belong here and she just hadn't found her purpose, beyond the destruction of the jewel. On one hand, it would be easier to just give up and go back home to modern day Tokyo. Resume her life as a normal high school girl but...she didn't really belong there either. She missed her friends back home and when she visited she was happy to see them...but... More and more she felt as if they were growing apart. She felt detached in their company, as if listening in on a conversation she had no part of.

They'd talk about things and people she'd never met or heard of and they'd always try to help her catch up, but she was usually left feeling a bit lost and left out. Then they'd turn the conversation to more uncomfortable topics that she didn't really want to deal with, much less talk about with people who had no idea what was really going on. It was easy to judge and moralize when you only knew the basic information on a given subject. So her friends felt very comfortable chiding her over her choice in company, not realizing it wasn't as simple as all that. But it wasn't like she wanted to explain it any further.

So she found herself torn between feeling left out and annoyed at their presumption to tell her how to live her life. She knew they only did it because they cared, but damn it, her life was hard enough to figure out on her own. And all the conflicting opinions were _not_ helping. Sometimes she wished she could be as frivolous and carefree as they were, but that was just not an option. She longed to giggle over what guy she liked and who might like her. She wanted to think about the next dress she'd buy or whether or not to paint her nails. But that life was closed to her now.

Okay, to be fair. She wasn't that much better than them, with her confusion over her relationship with Inuyasha but that wasn't the only thing she thought about. In fact, she'd been quite good, up until today that was. She hadn't really thought about him and their relationship in awhile. Lately, she'd been worried about Naraku's next move and what might happen at the end of all of this. The jewel. Inuyasha wanted it to become a full fledged demon. She'd promised she'd give it to him. But... Lately, lately she'd thought long and hard about that promise. That wish, it wasn't right. Giving him the jewel for that wish was not a good idea. She might as well give it to Naraku for all the good it'd do. The result would be the same.

Wishing to become a full demon was _NOT_ an unselfish wish and it would corrupt the jewel, there was no way around it. Kaede had warned her on several occasions that she should find a way to dissuade Inuyasha. How was she supposed to do that? He had his heart set on it and it wasn't like Inuyasha was the easiest person to talk to. The big idiot didn't listen to anyone, especially her. She'd tried think of something that'd change his mind but she'd come up empty. Whatever it was, she knew it'd have to be something big. A grand gesture and so far the only grand gestures she could think of were far too embarrassing to try.

She shook the jar again, this time with more frustration than wonder. _Stupid jewel_. More than anything she wanted this thing purified for good. Inuyasha could call her an idiot all he wanted, but she was thinking and he wasn't. Or maybe he was and he was just hiding it really well. It didn't matter. The jewel was evil. Okay, not really. It wasn't evil but it could be used for it and the only solution to this conundrum was to destroy the damned thing. It had no place on this earth and she wanted the evil that it caused to end.

She didn't really belong here, had no personal stake in this quest. This was not her time. Not her business. She was a weak, mortal girl with no control of her power but she was determined to see this out none-the-less. Her desire to see such a hated thing destroyed was as strong as any of her companions. The lives touched by the jewel had been ruined. Every last one of them. Demon or human, it didn't matter. When the jewel came into your life, pain and loss followed. She wouldn't have it. It would end, so help her, if she had to die to do it. Sango had lost her brother. Shippou lost his father to it, indirectly albeit. Miroku would lose his life. Inuyasha had lost his love. Kikyo her soul. And Kagome...she had lost her future to it.

There was little doubt of that in her mind. Her travels to the feudal era had affected her life in the modern day profoundly. She was absent most of the time and because of this, had fallen behind in her school work. Taking her study materials with her had helped but she didn't have the time she needed to study properly. There were always one too many distractions and when it came down to it, sometimes she just forgot to study altogether. I mean really, when you had a choice between running through a field like this with childlike abandon and algebra, which would you choose? The field won every time. She had enough stress with the battles and Naraku's many attempts on their lives. Plus all the countless other things out there who tried to kill them on a daily basis, it really made those story problems she should be doing seem not so important. And who really cares what the hell X plus Y equals anyway?! Not like she'd get stopped in the street one day and have to answer that question.

She could just see some mugger dragging her into an alleyway, demanding the answer to a story problem.

"_Two railway trains, one 400 feet long and the other 200 feet long, run on parallel rails, each at its own constant speed. When they move in opposite directions, the trains pass each other in 5 seconds. When they move in the same direction, the faster train takes 15 seconds to pass the slower train. How many MPH is each train moving?_" He'd whisper hoarsely while holding a knife to her throat.

And because she flunked math in high school all she'd be able to do is scream and cry, "_I don't knooooooooooooooooow!! IF ONLY I'D STUDIED MATH INSTEAD OF GOING TO THE FEUDAL ERA! CUUUUUUUUURSE YOOOOOOOOOU!!_"

Kagome shook herself out of the rather hilarious daydream. This was serious, as much as she wished it wasn't. Her future in the modern era was precarious. Despite her absences, she'd managed to make pretty decent grades but they weren't good enough. There was no way any university worth its salt would accept her. Not the ones she really wanted to go to anyway. Perhaps a few of the smaller, less prestigious ones would but degrees from those kinds of universities would get her nowhere. Well, maybe she could get a job as an office lady but who in their right mind really wanted to be an office lady. She couldn't imagine herself spending the rest of her life getting some businessman his coffee while trying to avoid his unavoidable sexual advances. It'd be like working for Miroku...only without the charm and appeal. If she were more like her friends she could hope to marry a rich man that'd take care of her. Kagome frowned and grunted. That was an entirely unappealing idea, not like her at all.

She wanted a future she could control. One that she worked hard to build. She tired of being the weak one, hated leaning on others when she could just as well help herself. There was a time to accept help and there was a time when you had to do things on your own. If there was one thing she'd learned during this adventure was the strength to believe in herself and the power she had to make things happen. The future was hers and whatever she did, she wanted it to happen because she worked for it. Not because it was handed to her on a silver platter. This, of course, didn't solve the problem of her grades and the possibility that her future really did look kind of bleak. There was always the shrine. She could take it over for her grandfather. He was getting rather old. That wouldn't really be all that bad...

"GAH!" She exclaimed, running a hand through her hair in frustration.

This was getting her nowhere. Stuffing the jewels back into her pocket, she realized with some seriousness that she had no idea where Shippou had gotten off to. _Stupid daydreams and worries about the future_. She sighed and kicked a rock as she thought that, looking around in a halfhearted attempt to locate her friend. The forest surrounded her in quiet repose. The only noise was the occasional chatter of the birds and soon she found herself basking in the peace it offered her. She breathed in deeply, revealing in how fresh the air was here.

This was heaven compared to what the air was like at home. The sky was a deep, pristine blue, untainted by the pollution that was prevalent in her own time. Pure white clouds drifted across the sky, billowing in large, puffy waves. She squinted her eyes as she tipped her head skyward to watch them through the forest canopy. The sun filtered down through the trees, briefly kissing her face as it moved brokenly through the leaves. She paused in her search, standing still as she looked to the sky for answers she couldn't find in her heart. Suddenly wistful, Kagome closed her eyes and let the sun warm her skin.

Her life wasn't perfect but it could be much worse and even if she didn't belong here, it didn't matter. She wasn't going to give up because this was worth fighting for. Even if it wasn't her own... Kagome smiled softly and opened her eyes with languid grace. Yes, things weren't so bad after all. Her smiled widened as she felt a gentle tug on her sock. Shippou gazed at her with his bright green eyes from the forest floor. Cocking his head curiously, he made a little sniffing sound before smiling back at her.

His brows creased a bit and he asked her in a very small voice, "...Where'd you go? You didn't follow and I was worried..."

She bent down and ruffled his hair, giving him an apologetic grin, "I'm sorry, Shippou. I just got thinking, that's all."

"Thinking?"

"Mmhmm."

"'Bout Inuyasha?" He asked, with not just a small amount of suspicion.

"...Yeah." She replied, hesitating.

Shippou had always disliked the way Inuyasha made Kagome feel. When he wasn't being a jerk, Kagome was happy and fun to be around...and he was rarely not a jerk. He liked it when Kagome was happy. This was their time together, without that big jerk to ruin it. It wasn't fair. Even when he wasn't here he was ruining things.

"Hmph! You should just forget about that jerk, Kagome! Besides...you promised..."

Yes, she'd promised that during these little sojourns she wouldn't think about Inuyasha. And here she'd gone and broke it within hours of making the promise in the first place. This was Kagome and Shippou time. No Inuyasha to interfere. No worries to ruin their fun.

She sighed, "I'm sorry...you forgive me?"

He crossed his arms and gave a little huff, pouting as he purposefully looked away from her.

"I don't know..." He said slowly, turning to give her his best doubtful scowl, which was more cute than threatening.

"Well, then I guess I have no choice..." She replied, simply.

He eyes widened and he tried to run away, only to be caught before he could go anywhere. Kagome giggled and picked him up, tickling him until he was howling with laughter. The sound was loud enough to send the birds in the canopy into flight. It echoed through the forest in a most pleasant way. For a split second, Kagome felt something that gave her pause, a ripple of power. They should be more careful, more quiet. The jewel shards attracted enough demons on its own, no need to give them something to lock onto. She stopped and narrowed her eyes as she tried to sense the source of her unease. Nothing. She was just worrying for nothing. Shippou had noticed her divided attention and scrambled onto her lap, looking in the direction she was staring.

"What's wrong?"

"Hmm? Oh. Nothing. I just thought I felt something..."

They looked at each other for a moment before a grin spread over Kagome's face. She set a finger on his nose and giggled, before leaping up and running off as fast as she could.

"You're it!" she called after him.

"HEY! NO FAIR! WAIT UP!"

The tiny fox demon immediately set after her, running through the forest as fast as his small legs would carry him. She tilted her head back and laughed as hard as she could. The forest blurred and there was nothing but the wind in her face and the joy in her heart. She could hear the sounds of her footsteps as they hit the ground and the laughed inhalation of her own breath. Exhilaration. For the fist time in as many days she forgot about all those things that worried her and buried them deep. This was their time. Right here and now. She could hear the little fox catching up to her. He was really stronger and faster than he gave himself credit for. True, he was still quite young and his power wasn't developed yet, but Kagome felt with time and practice he'd grow up to be a capable young man...demon...

While she corrected herself, she failed to take notice of a particularly large root sticking out of the ground right in her path. And she certainly didn't notice her foot catching onto it until it was much too late to do anything. This time her fall was as graceless as it was hard. Sky and trees and ground tumbled around her and just as suddenly it all stopped whirling. She was lying on the ground, flat on her stomach, staring at the ground dully. Kagome winced and groaned, turning herself over she looked at the sky. Why did she have to be such a damn klutz? She could hear Shippou calling her name and it didn't quite register at the moment. The pain in her ankle and her knees...and her everywhere did. With a grunt, she pushed herself up with agonizing slowness. Everything seemed to be in place. Her knees were scuffed pretty badly and she might have twisted her ankle a little, but nothing seemed to be broken or anything. Just sore. It was made slightly worse by Shippou's usual hyper-speed greeting. He rammed into her so hard he nearly knocked her over again. She hissed in pain but returned the fierce hug he gave her all the same.

"KAGOME! KAGOME! Are you all right?!!"

"Yeah. Just super!" She said tightly, trying not to show how much she really hurt.

The little fox paused and pulled back, tilting his head in an unusually mature manner.

"Then how come you're making this face?" He asked, scrunching his own face up to mimic her expression.

Even for a very young demon he was eerily perceptive. Maybe it was some trait in fox demons. In any event, several responses to his question came to her mind. All were appropriate and funny but at this moment, she wasn't feeling terribly verbal.

She smiled and poked his nose with one finger, making a little honking noise as she did, "Mmrrp."

The fox kit giggled, his bright green eyes sparkling with mirth...and mischief. Again, he mimicked her, gently poking her nose back.

"You're it!!" He said brightly, before leaping over her shoulder and running away.

Her eyes went wide and she turned to watch him go, "You little sneak! GET BACK HERE!"

"COME AND GET ME!" He called back to her with a light laugh.

Dusting herself off quickly, she got up, trying her best to be careful. It still hurt a little to move.

"NO FAIR! YOU BIG CHEATER!" she shouted back as she hobbled after him, "I'M AN INVALID NOW! THE GAME WAS OVER!!"

"SORE LOSER!!" He chimed, his voice sounding farther away.

She was about to give him a real good threat that she didn't really mean until she heard his soft gasp, followed shortly thereafter by her own. Kagome limped forward, standing near a now immobile fox demon. Spread out before them was a carpet of living color, gently swaying in the wind as they stared at it in open awe. At the edge of this forest lay a field and in that field were more flowers than Kagome had ever seen in one spot, even when she went to the Jindai Botanical Gardens last year for a field trip. It was simply put, the most beautiful thing she'd even seen. It was ethereal, so unreal that it made it that much more alive. Tempting in its blissfulness, its true and perfect beauty. This was what she always imagined heaven to be like. Immediately forgetting her bum arm and the scrapes on her knees and her slightly twisted ankle, Kagome skipped forward with a bubbly laugh. She turned when she noticed Shippou hadn't followed her.

"What's wrong?"

Shippou stood at the edge, between the forest and the field, with a look that was a mix of wonder and worry.

"...Nothing, Kagome...it's just..."

She paused, thinking back to that flicker of power she felt. It had to be nothing...just a twitch. She'd learned to trust her instincts, maybe she should be worried. Kagome concentrated on that feeling she had before, exploring it. Trying to find where it originated but there was nothing. If there were demons in the area, she'd feel them. She knew it...and the only thing she felt were Shippou, Inuyasha and Kirara.

"_Just being silly_", she thought, calling out to Shippou, she said, "... Do you feel anything?"

"No. Just feels...weird."

She nodded, wading back through the flowers until she stood in front of him, "I know. It feels weird for me too. But...I think we're just on edge...I don't really feel anything and if you don't. Then it has to be...somewhat okay. Plus, Inuyasha's near. Probably followed us, knowing him. So, I'm not worried. Besides, you promised..."

"Yeah. I guess you're right." He replied reluctantly.

It might have been slightly foolhardy to be so trusting of an open field and Inuyasha would undoubtedly call her stupid if she got into trouble. But HONESTLY! She didn't feel anything wrong with this place. It was too peaceful and maybe that's where she made her mistake.

Despite any warnings in her heart, the two friends ran through the flowers heedless of danger and laughing the entire time. There was a hill and even though she was still sore, the urge to roll down it was irresistible. With a laugh, she flung herself down the slope, until she stopped tumbling at the end of the hill. Giggling like a fool. Shippou had followed suit and had soon landed on top of her, laughing as hard as she was. He sat on her stomach and looked down at her, a sunny smile on his tanned face.

"Wanna do that again?" She asked, pushing herself into a sitting position.

He hugged her around the neck and replied, "Yeah, I--"

Shippou stopped mid-sentence and stared over her shoulder, a small growl emanating from his throat. She frowned and suddenly felt that strange aura she'd ignored from before. This time much, much closer. Fear gripped her and she quickly turned to see what the kit was looking at.

Not ten feet way was a little girl and with that little girl was a medium sized two-headed dragon. They were wandering through the field, just as she and Shippou had been, apparently completely oblivious to their presence. That dragon had to be a demon of some sort. How had she missed its presence? Unless it had been enchanted by something or someone...or perhaps covered over by a much stronger demonic aura. Either way, the fact that she hadn't been able to detect it was alarming. And that little girl, she was human, what was she--Kagome narrowed her eyes. She recognized that little girl. From four days ago. The little top knot, the orange and yellow kimono. She smiled at the dragon as she brought flowers up to the dragon's nose, as if she expected it to sniff them. That was the girl she'd seen with Inuyasha's half brother.

She could still see her as she did that night. Running up to Sesshoumaru joyously, looking more like she'd just won a carnival teddy bear rather than anything else. She'd held no fear of the demon and Kagome wondered in the moment how the hell that could be. Her past encounters with Inuyasha's elder brother had led her to believe he hated humans with a vicious passion and she was still perplexed by the little girl in his company. And now...here she was. At the time, she thought to ask the kid about a million questions but there hadn't been time. And now...there was. Slowly, Kagome rose from her spot and as quietly as she could, she walked towards the little girl. Shippou followed after her, his small brow knit with worry.

"Kagome!" He hissed, "Kagome! What are you doing?"

"That little girl, I recognize her." She whispered back.

"So!!? Something's not right here...Demons that can hide their scents like that are dangerous...We should leave before they come back!"

Yes, that made sense but sense and Kagome weren't always well acquainted. She almost snapped out a response she'd typically saved for Souta. _Don't be a baby_. But she didn't. The kit had a point, but she was feeling curious dammit...and Shippou didn't really know that this was Sesshoumaru's ward and even then, it wasn't like he was around right now. She could just ask her questions and leave and no one would be the wiser! Right!?

A twig snapped and the dragon looked up, eyeing the new comers suspiciously. Kagome swallowed hard and froze, suddenly feeling less brave. Maybe he told that dragon to kill anyone who came near the girl. It'd make sense. The little girl looked up at the dragon and then at Kagome, her face betraying complete and utter confusion. She patted the dragon on the nose and instantly it relaxed. The same could be said of Kagome.

"Hello." The girl said, her voice full of cheery bemusement.

"Hello." Kagome replied in kind.

"What're you doin' here?"

For a moment, she stumbled for a response, "....Well....we were....the flowers...."

Shippou jumped to her shoulder and answered for her, "We were playing tag and we found this field...What're you doing here?"

"Picking flowers." the little girl replied shyly, holding the flowers up to her face as she fidgeted back and forth, "I'm not appousta be talking to strangers no more. Sesshoumaru-sama said so."

At this, Kagome was not surprised but felt bad when she could see the little fox blanch and look up at her fearfully. She nodded. Yes, this was true and no she wasn't worried.

"But we're not strangers. We met. Remember? Four days ago. I met you...there was a boy and he tried to hurt you..." She actually winced at that part, glad that Sango wasn't with them. "...there were all those demons you ran from..."

The girl frowned as she thought, the sour look disappearing almost instantly, "Yeah! You were that pretty lady that hugged me before Sesshoumaru-sama came!"

"My name's Kagome and this is Shippou. What's you're name?"

She gave a little gap toothed smile, seemingly happy to have someone else to talk to. Kagome didn't imagine Sesshoumaru to be very big in the conversation arena.

"Rin," the girl replied, her voice a lilting sing-song.

Kagome nodded and smiled, daring to walk forward a little, "That's a very pretty name. But...What are you doing here all alone?"

"Sesshoumaru-sama had business, so he left me here with Jaken. But Jaken is mean and he said he didn't want to watch a stinky, stupid human and he went away. So me and An-Un decided to stay here and pick flowers like we're appoused to. We told Jaken that he should stay, but he didn't listen. Even when we told him that Sesshoumaru-sama would give him the boot if he did...but he did anyway. It's funny when Jaken gets the boot."

She laughed at the innocence of the little girl and wondered exactly what the boot entailed. Perhaps it was better if she didn't know.

"Aren't you scared?"

"Nope."

"Huh," Kagome said, sort of stumped for what to say next.

Again, Shippou saved her.

He was nervous being so close to someone who hung around Sesshoumaru but the little girl didn't seem all that bad. A new playmate might be nice... Feeling emboldened by Kagome's presence, he made up his mind.

"Wanna play with us for a little while?"

The girl considered it for a moment, warring between really wanting to and worrying about displeasing her lord.

"We can stay right here, if you want. That way you won't get in trouble." Kagome said helpfully.

Rin smiled widely, and nodded, "Okay! What d'ya wanna play?!"

"No laughing contest!" Shippou announced without a second thought.

Kagome groaned. She hated the no laughing contest but it was two against one. So they had a no laughing contest. It was an old game she and Souta had developed for long car rides. Actually, it stemmed from one particular car ride where they got on each other's nerves so much that their mother actually pulled the car to the side of the road to rank them out. Once back on the road they began to make faces at each other. It had stared out maliciously but that didn't last. After around ten minutes they'd forgotten what they were fighting about in a torrent of giggles. She'd taught the game to Shippou recently and he'd glommed onto it with an obsessive fervor bordering on the wrong side of annoying.

Kagome shook her head and shrugged. _C'est la vie_.

Things got off to an awkward start, which was always the case when you brought in a new player to a no laughing contest. After a few faces, things got silly, as they were supposed to be and the atmosphere lightened up considerably. Of course, there were ground rules. Shippou being a demon couldn't use his powers, because that was just cheating. Other than that, anything went. It was all pretty typical. Sticking tongues out. Making googley eyes. Scrunching up your face and sticking your teeth out funny. Rin managed one face that was so funny that it sent everyone into a ten minute straight giggle fit. It was sort of a weird head turning, vacant looking face with her mouth half open. Kagome reflected that you just had to be there really. Shippou got a good one off with the help of a small flower and his nose. After awhile, she tired of the game and allowed just the kids to keep it up. It was more fun to watch them anyway. There was a part of her that was getting too big for this, even if she wouldn't admit it. Kagome looked out into the distance and sighed. This was nice. If only every day could be like this. The sun was setting, she noted with a detached air. Wouldn't be night for at least another two hours, but it had begun to sink. It was still just over the trees, so they still had some time. She smiled serenely, taking in the gentle tide of yellow and gold as it drove away the light blue of day.

"HEY! YOU'RE NOT PAYING ATTENTION!!" Shippou cried, pointing a finger accusatorily at her.

Kagome barely noticed, too wrapped up in her own personal universe to care. Until, of course, she was forcibly knocked on her back by two irrepressible children bent on tickling her to death. She laughed until her stomach hurt, her eyes watered and her face turned beet red. With breathless gasps, she begged the little mercenaries to stop. They didn't. Kagome launched a counterstrike and tried to tickle them both back. It helped but didn't stop anything. After a bit, it became a free for all, which then ended in a truce. The truce was then promptly broken, then amended, then broken again. Soon all three lost their energy for it and lay back on the grass to look at the clouds, now touched with the pink of early evening. Kagome grinned, thinking up another game.

"Hey, look. A bunny." she exclaimed, pointing the bunny shaped cloud out.

"I don't see it." Rin replied.

"Well, see...there's the ears." Kagome said, turning over and tracing them with her fingers, "And there's his head...and his cute little nose...and right there is his tail...See?"

"Yeah." Rin breathed, excitedly pointing her finger at her own cloud, "A flower! See!!?"

"Uh-huh. What about you, Shippou? What do you see?"

"An acorn...over there." He said thoughtfully, liking this game almost immediately.

All three nodded slowly, examining Shippou's cloud acorn with grim seriousness. This game continued, longer than the tickle war and even longer than the no laughing contest, it started with simple objects and gradually delved into more complicated images. A flower turned into Jaken wearing a garland of flowers. Shippou's acorn turned into an entire tree. And Kagome felt it was best no one knew what the bunny turned into. If Miroku was here maybe but...

"Over there. Fox eating Kagome's bunny..." Shippou chirped, a little too excitedly.

"Ick. Just ick. You've been spending too much time with Inuyasha..." Kagome replied, giving the kit a sideways glance of disapproval before finding a cloud of her own, "Um...little kitty with fluffy wings...to your left."

It took a few moments, but soon everyone saw it and nodded at it solemnly.

"Sesshoumaru!" squealed Rin.

She was so excited by this discovered that she actually sat up and pointed. Kagome looked over to where she was pointing and frowned.

"Well, I guess it looks like him. If he was a lot shorter...and had bigger ears...and maybe lost a pound or twenty..." She paused, completely missing Shippou's sharp tugging of her sleeve, "You know...I'm just not seeing it, Rin...."

And then she did. It wasn't a cloud that looked like Sesshoumaru. It was Sesshoumaru himself and at that moment, Kagome prepared for death. She prayed to every god there was that it'd be quick and preferably painless. The little girl they'd spent the better part of the afternoon with didn't seem to notice. She jumped up from her spot and skipped over to her protector with joy in her every step. Meanwhile, Kagome and Shippou felt every bit of blood drain out of them very, very slowly. The Western Lord didn't say a word, and he certainly didn't look at them. His eyes were on his ward, who had reached his side. Showing him her flowers, chattering about what she did and then she pointed at them. Kagome had hoped he might have not noticed them or if he did, that he didn't care enough to... "_Boy, that plan went out the window toot-sweet_.", she thought grimly.

She had never in her life seen one person as incapable of emotion as Sesshoumaru. His face was totally and completely devoid of anything. Regally blank. Yes, that's what he was. Regally blank. "_Oh, crap. He's looking at us_." She mused inwardly, tensing a LOT as his golden eyes locked with hers. Her heart stilled and it seemed as if every minute lengthened ten fold. She didn't look away, but God, she wanted to. He gave nothing away, he barely even moved. It was like he was a still picture, or a statue.

The only thing that betrayed him was his clothes and his hair as they fluttered around him. It was strange, but all she could hear was the flapping of silk and the very distant sound of crickets in the meadow. The snapping sound his clothes made as they shifted in the wind was quite menacing, as menacing as his inert form. He looked so calm, so relaxed, but she knew from experience that he could snap into action in the blink of an eye. So, she waited and even though her blood ran cold with fear, she didn't look away. She held his eyes, resolutely refusing to avert them out of fear. If she were to die by his hand, she wanted Inuyasha to know that in her last few minutes, she was at least somewhat brave.

Shippou's hands grabbed onto her neck as he buried his head in it. If he was gonna die, he didn't want to have to see it coming. She barely even felt it, though she reflectively hugged him back. And they waited and waited and waited. And all he did was stare at them impassively before turning around to the dragon they'd all forgotten about, Rin following behind him happily. Kagome had forgotten how to breathe and hadn't noticed she'd been holding onto Shippou with a death grip that whitened her knuckles. It was then that Rin chose to pause and run back to them, the Western Lord looking on with disdain.

The little girl hopped up to Kagome, flowers in hand, "Thanks for playing with me, Kagome-sama, Shippou-sama. Can we....Can we play again sometime?"

She noticed Rin looking at them oddly as they cowered before her protector. The girl simply didn't understand who she was traveling with or maybe she did and she just didn't care. Kagome took a deep, calming breath and pushed all her fear away. It wouldn't do to scare or confuse the child, even if she had latched onto one of the most deadly youkai in the world. She placed a gentle hand on the girl's forearm and smiled warmly, not missing her protector's narrowed eyes as she did so.

"Of course, sweetie. Anytime...as long as it's okay..." She trailed off, looking apprehensively at the demon whose eyes bored into her very soul. "_God, how does he DO that_..." she whispered inwardly, hoping the emotion in the statement didn't show.

The little girl looked back at her protector, who nodded imperceptibly. Whether it was an affirmative or negative was anyone's guess. Rin smiled and threw her arms around Kagome with a giggle. Apparently _she_ knew.

"He says it's okay..." Rin whispered before pulling away.

"Great. We'll see you soon then..." Kagome said, in as warm a voice as she could muster, "Right Shippou."

He squeaked when he nudged her, looking up at Rin with fright before remembering himself. She had to be proud of her little ward, he was a good actor. The fear on his face melted away and his smiled was almost convincing. He nodded and snuggled closer to Kagome, keeping his eyes away from the terror in white.

"Rin, come."

His silken voice carried over the almost silent field with weight. It was meant to be obeyed, it meant business and the little girl wasted no time in complying with it. She skipped away from her new friends, waving as she did. Rin soon reached her protector's side, hoping up onto the dragon's back as they walked away. She turned and kept waving as they moved out of sight. Timidly, Kagome and Shippou returned it.

"SEE YA LATER!!" She called in the distance.

"Bye!" They called back weakly.

Soon the trio was a speck on the horizon. There was a vague bit of amusement as the retainer, Jaken, emerged from the foliage to find the ward, his master and mount gone. Kagome and Shippou wordlessly pointed him in the right direction and would have laughed as he scrambled away, screaming his master's name...that is if they weren't scared nearly witless.

"I think that's the dumbest thing I've done this week..." Kagome stated, once she was quite sure Sesshoumaru was nowhere near the area.

"Mmmhmm." Shippou agreed, looking up at her with wide eyes, "...But it was kinda fun for awhile..."

"Yeah. I could have done without the last part though..."

"Yeah." Shippou replied, pausing before adding, "Scary."

She nodded slowly, "Mmmhmm."

"So, what d'ya wanna do now, Kagome?"

"We probably should get back. Bet Inuyasha's havin' puppies..."

"How can Inuyasha have puppies?" Shippou asked innocently as they stood up together and left the clearing.

And in the deepening sunset, Kagome tried to explain what that particular bit of hyperbolic slang meant as they walked slowly back to camp. It only occurred to her once she'd been back with her friends for well over an hour that she hadn't gotten to ask any of the questions she had.

_"There's always next time"_...She pondered absently, her eyes going dark as they looked into the crackling campfire.

* * *

**Author's Note**

Right. This is my first Inuyasha fic, so please be kind. I cry easily. But I kid. I'm a heartless beeyatch. Go ahead, ask anyone who knows me. So. I'm not really sure where I'm going with this, IF I'm going anywhere at all. This was mostly a fun little side project to get the juices flowing for my other stuff. I might write more. I have a couple of ideas for future chapters in mind...so I suppose I might continue, depending on the response.

**Cultural Notes**

Yeah. So I did some research. Not as much as I usually like, but I was feeling lazy. Though, I'd like to note that _The Metropolitian Tokyo Jindai Botanical Gardens_ DOES exist. If you've seen the first Sailor Moon movie, it's actually in there! They have a lovely rose festival in the Spring if I got my facts right!

You might note that I have little in the way of Japanese, in comparison with other fics. The overuse of foreign language is a bad, bad thing. I've done it before myself and thankfully had a reviewer with the cajones to wallop me on the head and tell me to stop it. (And if you find the irony in that statement, you get a cookie!!) Though I did include some common Japanese vocab that you find in most IY fics. So, for the newbies!

**Hanyou**--Half-Demon

**Youkai**--Demon

--**sama**--Sort of like Lord or Master. An honorific title that is actually infrequently used in modern Japan.

If I use any other specific terms, I'll note them down here. Just an FYI. Though don't hold your breath. This'll probably be it. We have English words for stuff for a reason and using the foreign ones for common words, like fox, doesn't make it sound more authentic. At least, IMHO. Feel free to disagree. Just don't pelt me with radishes. They really hurt. I used hanyou and youkai because number one...they sound cool....number two...they are names for a specific thing, which doesn't really translate well into English. Sure, we can say a youkai is a demon but if you look into the mythology of youkai, really ain't that simple. I used --sama with Rin and Rin only, because it sounds cute when she says it. Stupid reasoning? Yes. Shut up. There's nothing more after that. DENY ME NOTHING!!

Okay. Sorry for that outburst. I sat down...drank some soda....and I feel better now.

Now, I'm not sure on the correct Romanization of the names and such. So I'm going with the common parlance, so to speak. I decided to keep the the U's in Youkai, Hanyou, because it rounds the word out better. The same can be said with Shippou's name. It gives that long o...which is needed, if you want it to sound right. Pronunciation-wise. If I'm wrong, feel free to beat me with vegetables. I'm used to it. It's okay. Then I'll change it and apologize profusely and then maybe cry and I'll only stop if you give me a cookie. For real.

Okay. I sleep now.

Ciao,

Noa


	2. Early Summer Heat wave

Kagome stared at the white blue sky through the treetop as dappled rays of sunshine permeated the boughs, casting spotted shadows across her skin. Looking up through the fine, green mesh of leaves and filtered light, she contemplated the inadequacy of the word warm in reference to the current temperature. It was beyond just warm, straight into uncomfortably hot. Sweltering. Yes, that was a good word. It was sweltering.

She stared mutely at the bleached sky, as if asking it for an explanation. It gave none, instead, it merely commiserated with her and she wondered if it was so devoid of color because of the heat. She closed her eyes as she felt a slight breeze brush against her skin and for a moment, she forgot the sticky heat surrounding her. The sensation was too quick to be enjoyed and her eyes languidly opened to gaze out on a dull world that was slowly baking in the mid-day sun. This had to be some kind of sick record. In her short life, she'd never remembered a day in June being this sticky and uncomfortable. It was unheard of. Unnatural and wrong, and if she could, she'd kill the sun for spite. If only for a few minutes. Sweat trailed down her forehead to her temple and she idly wiped it away.

For an off day. This really sucked.

She turned her head slowly and regarded Shippou, who was just as dazed by the heat as she was. It was probably worse for him, as he stuck to wearing his traditional clothing, while she did not. Besides being a demon. He was more sensitive to changes in temperature and other such nonsense that rarely bothered humans. The week before had been cool and mild and now, it felt like they were picnicking on the surface of the sun itself. It had to be nothing short of torture for him. She looked over at the little kit and gave a small half smile. He lay next to her, completely flat on his back and spread eagled, eyes half-lidded as he panted quietly.

"Poor kid..." she thought, her mind resting in a comfortable heat-induced haze.

She shifted her eyes to her pack, which lay just in front of her. They could go swimming as they'd planned but the hike up here had been more exhausting than they'd thought it'd be. And so they'd spent the last ten minutes recovering. It wasn't really doing them any good and Kagome did NOT feel better. She made a frustrated growl, knocking her head against the tree holding her up. This was stupid and only added to her current feeling of helpless dissatisfaction.

Shard hunting had not gone well lately. In fact, it had been an unqualified disaster in her opinion but that was just her being negative again. Another long, heavy sigh escaped her lips. They'd only encountered a few demons in the last week, none of them bearing anything but trouble. And more than they were worth, that was for sure. Her knees were bruised and scraped...again...and she wondered if there would ever come a day when she could wear a skirt without fear of showing her scarred legs. Their most recent escapade had involved a rather nasty demon head that had possessed a princess and nearly killed Miroku. How many times would he have to be nearly killed by pretty demons in disguise before he got it through his thick head. Sango had muttered darkly that if the wind tunnel's curse didn't kill him, his lechery would. That night, at camp, she had berated him very loudly and walloped him a good one when he tried to sooth her ire by squeezing an ass cheek. At least some things were back to normal and it was good.

They still had no word on Naraku's whereabouts but they did figure out that he'd left parts of his body behind. Those unwanted demons that didn't pass his litmus test of near invincibility were left to fend for themselves, alone and mutilated. It was almost sad and unequivocally gross. To make things worse, these cast offs were all on the look out for shards. They were desperate for the things and shambled after them with a fervent devotion that was terrifying to behold. Kagome let out a dull sigh. Just when things seemed to get easy enough to build a routine, then something came along to screw it all up.

It made a girl wonder was there really a point to shard hunting? Naraku seemed to be a step ahead of them at every turn, even when they caught him unawares. He had plans within plans and just wandering around the countryside looking for shards was doing no good. It was ridiculous. They should have some kind of plan. It didn't have to be perfect but any attempt to think things through, to try and outwit Naraku...it was better than wandering aimlessly, that was for sure. But Kagome was loathe to speak of her current discontent with their plan. After all, she wasn't the leader. That was Inuyasha's job. She was the shard detector and unaccustomed to taking a leadership role. Being in the spotlight wasn't something she was good at anyway. Anyone who witnessed her third grade piano recital could tell you that.

Even still, it was something she longed to discuss and she'd tried to think of a way to broach the subject with Inuyasha. But he was so damned impatient and thickheaded, that she hadn't dared. She was being all avoidy because she knew that what she had to say would be met with resistance. Okay, not just resistance, out and out scorn. There would be a big ol' fashioned fight that would just end in Inuyasha eating dirt and her continued frustration. It wasn't like she disagreed with traveling the country helping folks. Yes, they did good. Lots of good. They killed harmful demons and saved innocent humans but they were making little progress in accomplishing their most important goal. Destroying Naraku.

Then there was the question of what to do with the jewel. It was ever present and hung on her mind like an uncomfortable fog. Lately, she'd hoped to perhaps find something that gave greater insight into its power. There had to be some information, somewhere on the jewel and maybe, just maybe if she found it...Well, she wasn't really sure what went from there, but it had to help. She'd gone home for a short time afterward and done some checking. Her grandfather had some old records and scrolls in the shrine's reliquary and she'd done some digging in the hopes of finding something. Anything. A scroll or a book, even if it was insignificant as a phrase...a word even. Something, just something for her to hold onto, something that'd give her insight into the conundrum that was the jewel. She hoped it'd help her understand what she'd have to do a little better, maybe even give a hint as to how to control her power. Kaede had helped a bit, but there was only so much she could do. So, Kagome searched for a scrap of something that most likely did not exist in desperate hope that she'd find something to soothe the searing restlessness in her soul.

To her eternal disappointment, she found very little in the way of actual, useful information. There were lots and lots of books that described its fabled power. They weren't really helpful. Either telling her things she knew already or worse, causing her to have more questions that needed answering. Questions were really not what she need right now. So she kept looking. There was one scroll that had a rather vague history of the jewel. It mentioned Midoriko and Kikyo, though the latter wasn't mentioned by name. The text pretty much read, Midoriko created it by sealing herself and some demons inside the jewel. It was really evil. An unnamed priestess lost her life to it. It was destroyed. The End! Yep, pretty much _extremely_ not helpful. There were also a couple of spells that involved the jewel, which all in all was pretty scary. They were contained on a set of four very dirty, very old looking scrolls, which she'd read at her leisure.

Apparently the jewel itself had been used for other things before it became evil which was odd because she'd always been under the impression Midoriko created it. That's what all the other texts said, all except for these ones and it left her wondering which ones were right. According to the older texts, the jewel was used in a ceremonial exorcism rite and there were hints that along the way that it had been used in a particularly dark and unnamed ritual. One that perhaps was the reason it had been so easily tainted when Midoriko had sealed herself within in it. She was the most powerful priestess of her time and once her power had been freed from her body, no unholy taint should have sullied it. It was the habitual usage of the jewel for exorcism and the ritual that caused the taint. That allowed the demons entrapped within such easy sway over the powerful mystical energy within the jewel. Those words were enough to stun her into a half hour long silence. It had been weeks since she'd read it and she still wasn't over the shock. There was more to the shikon than what they knew and Kagome felt herself feeling anxious to find out more. As the weeks dragged by, her lack of answers had thoroughly frustrated her. There was so much she didn't know and all she ever got back was the same story or worse, more damn questions.

It was...disappointing.

She hadn't told Inuyasha about her sudden interest in research, much less what she was doing said research on. It was odd to keep something from him, as she was a poor liar and it just seemed natural to tell him everything. She couldn't hide from him anymore than she could hide from her own friends, which in and of itself was a bald-faced lie. Over the last year her tendency to tell little half truths had improved by leaps and bounds. She was by no means an expert liar, but she was getting better and it disturbed her. First her bestest friends in all the world, now Inuyasha. It wasn't like what she was doing was all that important and she was sure Inuyasha wouldn't be upset by it. It was just...well, he wouldn't be interested for one and he'd also be annoyed that it had kept her in her time longer, which was never to be tolerated. She could just imagine telling him what little she learned. He'd give her one of his patented _'You wasted my time for that nonsense' _looks. At the time, she could almost hear his voice inside her head the moment she told him.

"Keh! Who cares what a bunch of old, dead people have to say. Useless."

Mixed up in there would be a boast about how powerful he was compared to humans and then it'd be followed by an insult aimed in her direction. Then she'd have to sit him, and no good would come of that. Well, except for the slight satisfaction she derived from hearing his skull meet the earth, which was then followed by guilt. Because no matter how big a jerk he could be, she'd never liked to see someone in pain. Even if they really deserved it. Finally, to top off the day, he'd probably confuse her completely by showing her some minor affection after insulting her. Like protecting her from an attack or giving her his cloak and...and she was just sick of it all. Her feelings for him yo-yoed back and forth between love and something resembling deep annoyance. It was never a constant thing. Never comfortable or sure. It was always dangling over a precipice, just waiting for a bird to land on the wrong edge of her heart. It would perch there, looking at her blankly as everything she thought and felt tipped over and fell into the bottomless chasm below.

Why did loving someone have to hurt like this? In all the books she'd read and movies she'd seen, she'd never imagined the emotion to be this confoundingly painful. Kagome wasn't a listless dreamer. She didn't believe in being swept away or finding love at first sight. Love to her was always a more stable thing. It was a foundation you built your life upon that was sometimes exciting and unpredictable, but grounding all the same. Never, never did she think that being in love would be like the kind of sadistic roller coaster ride that seemed to never end. It felt like she was being torn apart inside, as if something within her was scraping the walls of her heart, tearing them down with relentless zeal. She was a rock in the middle of a stream. Standing tall and proud amongst the crashing waves, not realizing that as time passed, the water was slowly eating away at her. It pushed and formed the hard stone into a shape it wanted. And she was just waiting for the day that the persistent efforts of the river would finally overwhelm her and she'd become just one more pebble at the bottom of the bed.

Staring quietly into space, she wondered how it'd all end. Would he ever feel for her what she felt for him? Would it be true love or heartbreak? Maybe it wouldn't be that simple at all. Maybe they'd fall in love like the fondest fairytale hope that she held onto with clinging desperateness. Where she'd run at him through an open field and they'd finally admit their feelings and live happily ever after. Maybe it'd be an explosive betrayal. Where she'd find him in the arms of his dead lover and vow her own revenge. Maybe it would be neither of those things. Maybe it'd be worse. Maybe it'd be a slow and painful process, where she fell out of love with him or he with her or both. They'd agree to be friends or not...and either way, they'd see each other occasionally and things would be uncomfortable and there'd always be that tainted longing for what might have been. All in all, she wasn't sure if any of them were good and as time passed, her hope faded and she found herself hating the pain in her heart all the more.

Things looked even bleaker after she had a long heart to heart with Yuka, Ayumi and Eri. She knew it wasn't supposed to be like this and had tried to lie to herself. Being in love with someone wasn't a contest. It shouldn't hurt and it shouldn't be a fight to see who'd crack first. It was awkward and weird, but she'd always been convinced that it should have been a pleasant experience. Nerve-wracking, yes. Painful, no. Butterflies weren't meant to hurt. That tickle in her stomach shouldn't be accompanied by a sharp intake of agony as you realize that you can't have what you want. Love should be a gentle meeting of the minds. Like the gradual tide of warming friendship as it followed the current that lead to something more. It was the delightful hide and seek of finding out what you had in common and what you didn't, and how you worked through it all. Love was a dance, slow and seductive. What love was NOT was a vicious fight to the pain, where both parties were left feeling exhausted and all _out _of _love_. And that was exactly what her relationship was like with Inuyasha. It was like sparring in her personal defense class. Sweaty, uncomfortable and highly unsatisfying.

It was all Yuka's fault. She was the one who got her really thinking about all this. With one damn question. She'd been complaining about Inuyasha again and Yuka asked her a very simple question. One she should have been able to answer without pause.

"What _do_ you two have in common, Kagome?"

All she could hear was the emphasis her friend had put on the word 'do'. What _DO_ you have in common? What DO you...What did they have in common? She tried to brush it off with a nervous laugh and a wave of her hand. But it remained. Long after she had left her friends, it pursued her into the night. Followed her the next day and hadn't left her alone for awhile until she finally did forget. And they'd remained forgotten for the better part of two weeks. She suddenly remembered them at the start of this week. It was on Monday, her first day back to the feudal era. She'd been studying, sort of. It was for a class, which also happened to be her hardest besides math. Except she actually _liked_ to study English as opposed to math which she loathed with a vicious passion.

Despite her constant struggle with the subject, she managed to make pretty good marks. Mostly because of her dogged determination not to fail and her steadfast effort did not go unrewarded. She didn't consider herself all that good at the language. There were so many rules that were made and broken. The odd rules for spelling alone were enough to give the most patient person a headache but there was something oddly fascinating about the language. A vibrant quirkiness that drew her in and made her want to learn more. Her teacher agreed and had recommended her for the advanced classes, which she took. She struggled but she kind of enjoyed it. Her teacher thought her such a promising student that special concessions were made because of her "illnesses". Still, she wasn't doing as well as she'd liked and had complained about it when she had lunch with her friends. Eri had teased her for being an overachiever but was it really so odd to want to be perfect in at least one area?

She was inadequate everywhere else, after all.

Kagome's eyes darkened as she tried not to feel the bitter tang of disappointment. Yes, it was okay to want that and she had come close to perfection in her English studies. Privately, she could admit that. It'd take only a tiny bit more effort to attain just that. She'd been well on her way to doing it Monday night, until Inuyasha interrupted her efforts by being rude.

Because of her frequent absences and her teacher's opinion of her talent, she'd been granted a rare exception. Her teacher would allow her to make up her missed time by taking an extra class, which didn't seem like much of a gift until she learned what kind of class it was. They'd convinced one of the smaller, community colleges to allow her to take one of their Western Literature classes for no credit. The best part was that attendance was optional. She could show up when she wanted and boy, she had wanted to. It was hoped that the extra work and the immersion into English literature would help keep her on her toes.

Perfect her English and help her play catch up with the rest of her class. The best part was it was taught by an adjunct professor from an American university. So the entire class would be taught in English about English literature. And it was wonderful! Really the best thing that had ever happened to her and she tried so hard to go to as many classes as possible. In fact, she'd insisted upon it. Inuyasha was not pleased. That was, in fact, an incredible understatement. Kagome plainly did not care. It was once a week, on Saturdays, and only an hour long. She had put her foot down and made it clear that she would NOT miss this class, at least, not as often as she'd miss her other classes. It wasn't like it was a huge deal anyway. But Inuyasha was being an ass about it. Making snide little comments when she'd ask to go back.

She'd tired of the argument, as it only went in endless circles. They'd had a huge blow out about it on Monday and she was still a bit miffed. It was over a book given to her by her teacher.

They'd just finished with the Canterbury tales the week before and this week they were starting Shakespeare finally. She'd never read any of his work prior to this but she had always kind of wanted to check it out. As it was she was a huge Kurosawa fan and she'd heard that Ran was his adaptation of a Shakespeare play. MacBeth, if she was correct. She liked Ran, so she figured the source material had to be aces. Kagome blushed a bit, realizing what a huge literature nerd she was.

Her mother had instilled in her a deep love of words. From the time she was a baby, she'd had all the classics read to her. She remembered very keenly, nights when she was younger when her mother would read from the Tale of the Genji. It would always be held amongst her most cherished memories, those magical moments between dusk and true night when her mother's voice would floating liltingly on the wind.

The moment she began to read her first play, she fell in love with Shakespeare's words. They way the language was spoken reminded her of the way Kaede spoke and the strange, courtly language in Murasaki's masterwork, only in English and written hundreds of years later. Never in her life had she come across writing that was as eloquent and down to earth as this. And to think, she'd always thought spoken English sounded like quacking ducks. Except when reciting Shakespeare verse. There was a vast array of music in the words that was lacking in anything else she'd come across.

Sometimes the meaning wasn't always clear to her, as Elizabethan English was very different from modern English. She always had lots of questions about the text or a random observation about the story and she found herself staying after to speak with the professor on more than one occasion. He was a nice old man. One of the American exchange students referred to him as a hippy. Whatever _that_ meant. To Kagome, he was like a younger version of her grandfather, except with more interesting stories that didn't involve obscure legends that were most likely not true. In any event, he'd taken a liking to her and had let her borrow his copy of the Riverside Shakespeare. It was a large compilation of his work and a first edition! She was beyond ecstatic and truly honored he'd trust her with something so valuable.

One night she had been reading it and was completely oblivious to the world around her. Her mind was too wrapped up in the story, pushing her towards the end with fretful zeal. That is until Inuyasha decided it was his sworn duty to investigate that which was taking attention away from him. He snatched the large, heavy book from her hands easily and began to examine it. Holding the voluminous tome by his fingers before sniffing it curiously, as if he could glean the hold it had on her that way. Then he turned it upside down, skimming the contents briefly before giving her a disgruntled look. Kagome returned the favor, frowning at him with her arms crossed. She was fairly tempted to point out that to read the book, he'd have to turn it right side up. He wouldn't care, so she didn't.

"Why do you read this stuff."

It was more of a statement than a question. Kagome refused to answer him on the grounds that she'd done it before. Many, many times before and she wasn't going to explain it ever again. If he couldn't understand the answer the first fifty times, what made him think he'd get it this time, much less any time after that. Kagome scowled at him and attempted to grab it back but he pulled it away from her before she could.

"Give it back, Inuyasha." She said, trying to sound menacing and failing miserably.

"Feh!" Why!"

"Because...it's mine and I want to finish reading it!" She snapped back, making another play for the book.

He grinned and switched hands quickly, seeing that a game could be played. If there was one thing Inuyasha loved, it was playing with her like this. She had the most interesting reactions.

"Why do you read this stuff anyway?" he asked, turning the book around and reading it briefly, "It's boring...a waste of time..."

Her eyes went wide at that comment and she lunged for the book. He held it up and away, switching hands again when she tried to maneuver herself into a better position.

"It is not..." she grunted,"...a waste..." grab and a miss, "...of..." she dug her feet in and prepared to lunge,"...of time..." Her hands flew out and brushed against the spine, before she crashed face first on the ground. Pushing herself up, she shouted as she punched the ground, "...GIVE IT BACK! GIVE IT BACK OR SO HELP ME..."

"What? You'll sit me. As if I care. You're always complaining about those test things and school...For hatin' something so much, you do it a lot."

"I don't hate it...okay, sometimes I do. BUT THAT'S NOT THE POINT!" she yelled, feeling her frustration overwhelm her, she calmed herself down a bit. Someone had to be the reasonable one, "...Inuyasha, I'm asking you nicely. Give me back my book."

"Why? The way I see it, you should just quit school if you hate it so much. Then you could go shard hunting full time."

"I don't hate school all the time and I can't quit. Give it back."

"No."

"Give it."

"Why won't you quit?"

"Because I don't want to..."

"Why?"

"Because I like learning new things and I don't want to be an uninformed idiot...like certain people I could name..."

"Keh! You're too late for that."

"WHAT!"

"You're already an idiot. Books can only do so much..."

"Oh! That tears it!"

Her eyes narrowed dangerously and would have looked menacing on anyone else. But on her it only looked cute, which at the moment wasn't helping her. Inuyasha merely grinned at the look of enraged shock on her face. She closed her eyes as was just about to sit him into the next century when a demon took the opportunity to attack. Before it struck her, Inuyasha kindly knocked her out of the way, taking the brunt of the attack. The giant centipede hit him in the stomach and sent him sailing backwards through several trees...with her book still clutched in one hand.

A vicious battle ensued and they were victorious in the end. It was only a low level demon, pathetic in terms of pure competition. Inuyasha was hurt but not that badly. He had been thrown _through_ around five to six trees. He was irritable and sore, but with no lasting damage. Kagome tended the light cuts and bruises that graced his back and arms. He accepted with his typical reluctance, but he did accept it, which made her happy. The argument was forgotten as was the book. That is, until yesterday when she suddenly remembered that she had to give the book back at the end of the week.

* * *

It wasn't a rare edition and she was sure she'd be able to find a copy on Ebay. If she was lucky, maybe she could find a copy of it at her local bookstore. It wouldn't be a prized first edition but it was better than nothing. That was the first, best option. She could check Tokyo Random Walk. It was a good store with a nice selection of foreign books. And maybe she'd stop by Bibliophile. It had lots of rare volumes and she might just get lucky. It was off her routes when she went back home and would require a bit of leg work, but it was worth it. Plus it had been ages since she'd visited the Tokyo Tower. 

She sighed heavily. While a trip back home was just what she needed, the fact that she'd have to spend her entire allowance on a book made her very sad. She was going to spend it on Utada Hikaru's latest album. Actually, she already had the Japanese version but she'd planned to get her hands on a copy of the American release. But imports like that cost so much, so she'd been saving it for awhile...and now this happened.

For the last hour she'd been going over what she'd tell her teacher. It occurred to her that she could technically say the dog destroyed it. It wasn't really a total lie but it wasn't all that believable. She could blame Souta, say he lost it or something but that wasn't fair. Besides, she was the flaky, disorganized one. He'd never lost anything in his entire life and had spent most of his time making sure she didn't forget things. Kagome pouted, realizing it would be best for her to take all the blame. After all, she was the idiot who took the book into the feudal era in the first place. She should have known better but really, she couldn't help it. She was on pins and needles and she really wanted to know how the play would end! Would Beatrice and Benedict finally stop being asses and admit they love each other! Would Don Jon's evil plot be discovered? Would Claudio repent for being so unforgivably cruel to Hero? Would Dogberry finally take a bath!

This was where her curiosity led her. Now she would have to wait until she could buy her own copy. Well, there was that page she found lying in a bush but it wasn't from the play she was reading. That was all that was left. And the kicker was, she couldn't really stay mad at Inuyasha. Yes, he'd been a jerk but he had saved her life. So things kind of evened out. There was nothing she could do about it anyway and continuing to be cheezed off about it helped no one.

And anyway, the story _had_ to end happily It was a comedy for crying out loud!

The entire incident had highlighted the fact that other than their desire to find the shikon jewel before Naraku, she had little in common with Inuyasha. She was lyrical, poetic and a hopeless romantic, where he was brusque, blunt and without imagination, and far too practical for her liking sometimes. Yet she loved him all the same. When she looked at him, her heart skipped a beat. On the rare occasions when he let his defenses down and he'd hold her, she swore she'd melt right on the spot. She ached for him as a parched plant yearns for water. Reaching and desperate.

He was her only reason for being here. Her future, past, and present all wrapped into one. Without him, she was lost, weak and afraid. She hated depending on him like that. It made her feel like a stupid, clinging wraith. As mean as it sounded, she sounded like her friend Ayumi. Who always seemed to fall for unfeeling bad boys and had encouraged her. To Eri and Yuka's horror. She'd curtly told Ayumi that if she really wanted a bad boy, she'd date his emotionless older brother. No, no, she didn't like this dependence. She hated being useless and just once, she wanted to prove herself to him. To show Inuyasha she wasn't just a worthless human girl, good for only shard detecting. She wanted him to know she was strong, as strong as him. Kagome had never been a weak person. Fear was something she knew, but it wasn't something that stopped her. And she never got to show that side of her to him.

She had always prided herself on being self-sufficient. Flaky, yes, but she'd always been an independent girl. Being the oldest child in a single parent family did that to you. She had to be the replacement support for both her mother and her brother. Kagome was the built in babysitter when her mom needed a break. The shoulder to cry on when missing their father became too much for Souta to handle. She was the rock, she'd always been the rock. The foundation of whatever group she was in. This included her little circle in the feudal era. But being the rock got you no accolades. Kagome heaved another sigh. She would never say it, never acknowledge it, but...she had grown up too fast. No kid her age thought like this.

A tiny voice broke through her reverie.

"Kaaaaaaaaaaagome..."

"Yeah, what is it?" She asked, her voice thick with exhaustion.

"D'ya think maybe we oughta get with the swimming...like we planned?" Shippou inquired, tiredly.

She snickered, idly musing that he'd spent waaaay too much time with her. He'd begun picking up more modern vernacular and speech patterns.

"I suppose..." She replied with a little grunt as she reluctantly sat up.

Kagome wiped the sweat from her forehead while she cursed the continued existence of the sun. Why did it have to be so damned hot? Blearily, she dug through the contents of her pack until she found everything she needed. Pulling them out with a satisfied sigh, she arranged them on the ground neatly. Two towels, sunscreen, Shippou's favorite inner tube, and a pair of precautionary swimmees. It wasn't good to leave a kid afloat with just an inner tube. Last but not least were a pair of swim trunks she'd modified especially for Shippou. When she showed the little fox demon his gift, he practically danced for joy. It was beyond cute. She watched with a smile as he quickly slipped into them, making a little cry of delight as he poked his tail out the hole she made for him.

"Now I'm just like you, Kagome!"

Kagome repressed the urge to point out the obvious but she didn't. She knew what he meant by it and was flattered that he admired her so much.

"Yep! You're a regular boy from the future!" She quipped, wanting to slap a hand to her forehead for sounding like such an idiot.

This apparently pleased Shippou, who grinned at her widely. "Aren't you gonna change?"

"Nope. I already did."

She ruffled his hair affectionately. They chatted amiably after that. Actually, it was really Shippou doing all the chatting while she blew up the inner tube. It had to be around one o'clock. The sun had moved higher into the sky and she could plainly hear the cicadas chirping. She'd moved on to the swimmees and had her lips positioned over the intake valve, when she felt a curious twitch in her senses. There was a demon nearby. Kagome frowned and tried to sense who it might be, friend or foe. It didn't feel like anyone she knew and it was near enough for her to worry.

She shrugged, unable to sense who it was, much less their intent. Unconcerned, she blew into the intake valve with methodically slow breaths. This was going to take a long time. She was getting a lot of resistance, the swimmee was being troublesome and not blowing up properly. Her lungs ached a bit and she cursed herself for forgetting the bicycle pump she usually brought for her tires. It'd come in handy right about now. She took another long breath and pushed the air into the swimmee, smiling a bit as it finally began to take shape.

It was then, mid-breath, her lips still secured to the swimmee's synthetic surface that she noticed the demon staring at her with bright golden eyes. Her face paled and her eyes widened to saucers. She was left staring in dumb shock at Sesshoumaru, the swimmee still clenched firmly between her teeth. Kagome looked the perfect picture of a complete and total idiot.

Fumblingly, she pulled the swimmee out of her mouth and tried to arrange herself to look somewhat dignified. Not that it mattered. The demon said nothing, did nothing as he had before. Just stared at her and she stared back. A million questions battered her mind. Why was he here? Why hadn't he attacked? How is it that he looks so damn cool and collected on a miserable day like this? None she dared to actually ask him but she did keep her eyes firmly trained on his, not breaking her gaze even once. His eyebrow quirked up and his eyes slightly narrowed, the color in them shifting like molten glass. Her heart beat a million miles a minute and she was pretty sure that at any moment, it might explode. Despite her nervousness, she held her ground and didn't flinch, even though she was terrified.

The demon moved and she resisted the urge to shriek in surprise. He turned, though his gaze stayed with her. As he moved away, she saw what his form had been hiding. Behind him was the two headed dragon, An-Un, and atop the unusual mount was Rin. Kagome hadn't noticed, she was too busy staring Sesshoumaru down. Shippou, however, had taken note and forgetting to be afraid, he called out to his friend. The sudden sound of her ward shouting Rin's name awoke her to the reality of the situation. She had forgotten about meeting his ward and the promise she made to the little girl so many weeks ago. It had disappeared amongst the flurry of other, more pressing matters in her life.

The two children ignored the silent adults and their odd staring contest. Shippou had gotten up from his place and began to shout loudly, jumping up and down in excitement. The girl had spurred her mount faster and once she got near enough, she clumsily jumped off it and ran towards them. With cries of joy, the two children greeted each other with an excited conversation that merged into a single, high speed blur of words. They hugged and giggled and the entire time, Kagome didn't partake in the joy. She was still warily regarding the demon and he was glaring at her and he wouldn't stop. And it was very, very unnerving. Something bumped into her chest. There were arms around her neck and she could vaguely hear Rin babble something about being happy to see her. But she neither felt nor heard them. She just watched as Sesshoumaru gave her one last pointed glare before he gathered his aura around him and floated away, to parts unknown.

"Kagome? Kagome, are you all right?"

She shook herself and gazed at Rin's questioning face, "Yeah. Just a little dazed is all. How are you?"

"I'm good! I'm so, SO glad to see you Kagome-sama! What are you doing today? Can we play more games?"

"Yeah. We were going to go swimming. Wanna come?" Shippou answered for her, excited at the prospect of finally being able to play Marco Polo. Kagome had always talked about it...but they'd never had enough players.

"Swimming?...I don't know how to swim..." The little girl answered, sounding a bit shamed and disappointed at not being able to participate.

"Yep." Kagome nodded, knowing that most people in the feudal era didn't know how to, "Don't worry. We'll teach you."

The girl looked even more dejected and a bit worried.

"Yeah! Don't worry, Rin! It's easy!" Shippou chirped, picking up the half inflated swimmee, "You can borrow these! They help you swim...and Kagome's a really great teacher. So don't worry, okay?"

The girl gave a timid smile when she looked over at her friend, who was bristling with confidence. She looked over at Kagome and seeing the same look in her eyes, she knew she could trust her friends. Her smiled widened and she nodded. Kagome finished blowing up the swimmees and made a makeshift suit for Rin out of her t-shirt. The girl couldn't go in the kimono she wore. It was much too nice and she was afraid the heavy fabric would weigh her down too much. The little girl had asked about a hundred questions about the swimmees and where Kagome was from. All were skillfully avoided, which is to say, it was handled with an evasive awkwardness. Her trademark. Not like the little girl cared all that much. She gladly donned the strange garments and followed Shippou into the nearby stream. They held hands and Kagome almost cried out at the cuteness of it all.

The afternoon passed uneventfully. Rin was timid at first. Not trusting the contraptions on her arms, quite sure she was going to drown any moment now. But she didn't. The swimmees held her up without fail and her friend's unflagging confidence helped boost her ego. After a bit, Kagome began to show her a few basic strokes and how to kick her feet to propel herself. Everything was explained with the same kind of precise calm she expected from her lord and it made Rin happy to know there was someone else besides Sesshoumaru-sama that was unafraid of the world. She felt safe with Kagome and Shippou, and for Rin, feeling safe was a rare thing. Kagome had promised to teach her more later on. allowing her and Shippou some time to play.

As the day wore on, the children swam happily. Laughing and splashing with not a care in the world. Kagome joined in as much as she felt like it. Occasionally she'd slip underwater when their antics go to be too much for her. And after a bit, she felt herself tiring, so she got out but not before instructing the children to swim closer to the riverbank. From there she watched them silently near the water edge as she dried out. The sun moved slowly across the sky and she began to notice that both children had quieted somewhat. Upon closer examination, she could see they were both tired and cold, but too stubborn to listen to their own bodies.

She ushered them out of the water, chiding them both for not getting out sooner. Both had given half-assed excuses through their shiver, blue lips. Kagome shook her head and set her hands on her hips in a movement that was scarily reminiscent of her mother. They only had two towels and hers was already used. She was pondering this problem when Shippou solved it for her. He stated he didn't need a towel and proceeded to shake himself off, all over them. After the all the invectives and screaming died down, Kagome grabbed the other towel and handed it over to Rin. She helped the little girl dry off and back into her clothing. Shippou had already gone back to the tree they'd previously occupied to sleep.

There was an odd moment of tranquility that enveloped Kagome at that moment. She remembered when she was little and her mom would tend to her like this. Tying the sash on the little girl's obi, she wondered how long would it be before she got to do this with her own daughter. Would she even have time for such things? She'd always wanted a family at some point...and had never really full understood why, until this moment. There was simple peace in tending to another person, especially someone you knew needed you. Maybe that's what she was missing with Inuyasha. She didn't feel needed. With Shippou and Rin, she felt as if she had a place. A purpose. It was a nice feeling and she indulged in a wistful smile as she combed through the little girl's hair. Silently, she separated her hair into three separate pieces and began to absently braid her hair. Rin didn't seem to object and had held still, waiting until she was finished. There was a quiet pause as the little girl turned to look at her. Kagome smiled softly and the little girl smiled back shyly, a look of fleeting hope reflecting in her features. What did she hope for? And those questions she'd forgotten long ago surfaced.

"Rin...may I ask you something?"

The little girl looked a bit worried now that her friend had suddenly turned so serious but she nodded despite this.

"How did you come to be with Sesshoumaru...where is your family?"

Rin blanched at the question that she knew was coming, but she was also awed that the young woman referred to him so informally. She'd gotten the feeling before that they knew each other from somewhere and whatever feelings were between her lord and this girl were less than comfortable. Rin looked down at her fingers, because she really didn't want to answer that question. Kagome instantly understood. Her family had to be dead and that was how she came into the lord's service. It was most likely willingly, because if she were under duress, there was no way she'd be that comfortable with Sesshoumaru, who was a disagreeable person at his best. And whatever had happened, it was difficult to talk about. The little girl opened her mouth to say something but Kagome pressed a finger to her lips and shook her head.

"Don't...whatever happened, it must be painful. You can tell me when you're ready, okay?"

Rin nodded gratefully, her eyes welling with tears as a bright smile crossed her face. Only her lord treated her like that.

"Kagome...can I...can I ask you a question?"

"Of course."

"How come...when you see Sesshoumaru-sama...how come you and Shippou act so scared? Is it 'cause he's a demon?"

Kagome was taken aback but managed a near calm reply, "No...no, honey. It's not that." She paused, trying to think of the best way to say what she wanted to, "We're not scared...we're just...well. You see...We're friends with his half-brother, Inuyasha..."

"You mean the loud man in red that I saw with you when we met? The one that looked like Sesshoumaru-sama?"

"Yeah...Him." She replied, adding a pause to keep herself from laughing at the girl's innocent comments," Well, they aren't exactly friends...and so..."

"Oh."

The little girl nodded her understanding. It was odd to be trapped in the middle of such sibling rivalry but that's the way it was. At least her lord let her see the nice lady she now regarded as a friend.

"Wull, can I still see you and stuff, Kagome-sama? Is it okay...is it okay for us to be friends..."

Kagome smiled warmly. The only real reassurance she needed.

"Of course we can. And it's just Kagome...we're friends, after all!"

"You swear!"

"Mmmhmm."

Kagome held out her pinkie, gently instructing Rin to do the same and they shook on it, a promise of friendship solidified with a pinkie swear. Kagome saw the joy and hope in the young girl's eyes. She also saw the sorrow and the pain. All this time she'd been preoccupied with her own petty life, the stupid crush she had on a certain hanyou. She'd been hung up on her own pain and in the face of this girl's raw longing, it seemed so ridiculous. Rin had no one in the world that cared for her, except for one cold and silent demon. As good as his company did her, it wasn't enough. She needed human contact. Someone to talk to. And suddenly, just as Sesshoumaru appeared in the clearing once more, Kagome realized that she'd found her purpose.

She was a mother and a sister to Shippou, just as she was for Souta, and now...there was Rin. What was one more surrogate child? Nothing. She smiled softly as she watched the little girl rejoin her lord. Their eyes locked and between them there was a silent moment of understanding. She would be a companion for his ward whenever he saw fit to leave the girl in her care. And with this unspoken oath, the demon disappeared, leaving Kagome to ponder the silent afternoon. Her eyes straying to the sinking sun as she sighed, and got up to wake her sleeping companion.

The world is a strange place sometimes...

* * *

WOOT! Sorry I updated this one first. Purgatory is coming. Just really, really slowly. Um. I hope ya liked this. BTW-Those bookshops I mentioned in Tokyo are real. Yes, I did more research. I am a silly, silly girl.

I sleep now.


	3. Midsummer Evening

In the name of love human beings will do the strangest things. It can make a grown man cry and a young girl bleed. It is all you need, but it is surprising how we take it for granted when we have enough. But gods above, when we don't have it...when we can't grasp it and all we can do is yearn, how we feel the pain of its absence. Love, indeed, is a curious thing. It oftentimes starts from nothing, flowering in the most unlikely of spots. Love never blooms where it's expected to...it's like an orchid growing in the middle of the artic tundra. It just doesn't make sense and that is why it is beautiful. Because everyone wants it...and because no one ever gets what they want...and it is beautiful. Love comes in as many colors as the rainbow, in forms and images that no man could ever manage, much less measure.

Once thoughts of love had dominated her mind ruthlessly, they skipped through her thoughts like that annoying song you always seem to get stuck in your head. You aren't sure how it got there or even why but once there, it refused to leave. Even when it became bothersome and unwelcome but the more you hear it, the more you like it. Like the song, love can be aggravating at first but as time passes, you find yourself not hating it as much as you did before. Only with Kagome, things had gone in reverse, which made her situation that much harder to bear. Not to mention more confusing.

During those first heady weeks in the feudal era those thoughts had run along the most innocent of lines. She'd been looking for nothing but uncomplicated friendship from Inuyasha. Kagome had always been a good girl, the type who always followed the rules and did just as she was told. In breaking the Shikon no Tama, she had made a grave mistake and being a responsible girl, she owned up to it and had agreed immediately to rectify the situation. And knowing she needed help, she swallowed her pride and cajoled Inuyasha into joining her. She had to admit, that at the time she was already somewhat smitten with him. He personified the very attractive but gruff anti-hero...and she could almost kick herself for being like Ayumi. Privately she had to admit it. She liked a bad boy...but unlike Ayumi, she didn't like a bad, bad boy. He had to have a heart and underneath under all his bluster, Inuyasha did have a good heart...and that's what she fell in love with.

It all started with her innocent wish for a basic working friendship and it had grown. Gradually, her feelings of friendship developed into a terrible crush. She had fallen hard. He was the first friend of the opposite sex she had. The first boy she'd spent any time alone with. She was only in ninth grade when they first met and very naive. Not that she was all jaded now...but...It had been a year and she'd received a rather rough lesson in just how much love could really hurt.

The crush had turned into something more as longing set in. By this time, she'd found out about Kikyo and Inuyasha and their brief, tragic love affair. She found out all about the woman who looked so much like her...and it made the aching in her heart all that much worse. It wasn't until her soul had been stolen from her by Urasue to raise Kikyo from the dead that she knew what her feelings were. She loved Inuyasha, plain and simple...and it was the worst kind of love of all. Unrequited.

Then came all the times he'd turn from her to run into Kikyo's arms. And it took everything in her not to relive every painful moment. She had to forget. For herself...for Inuyasha...for...for her own sanity and the sake of her bleeding heart that would one day kill her because it bled to freely and openly for everyone who happened to cross her path. Here was the part where the song wore out its welcome, where she couldn't stand to hear another verse because it just made her sick. This love...it was turning her into a person she hated. A sad little wraith, a pathetic...cloying...obnoxious...twit...who just sat around and waited for life to happen for her, never once thinking to just jump up and grab it herself.

The stupidity of her situation was revealed to her in the guise of a little girl. She was an idiot. A fool to worry and cry about something so simplistic when there were more important things out there...when there were people who suffered greater loss than she but somehow managed to go on. How could she moan and despair about Inuyasha being an insensitive, two-timing jerk...when there were people...children who suffered in far greater amounts than she. They suffered the kind of pain that had nothing to do with a school girl crush and everything to do with their lives being torn apart by unfortunate circumstance. Her mind wandered to one child in particular who had likely lost her entire family and now followed a demon that protected her, but more than likely showed her little, if any affection. In a way, she felt a kinship with the girl, having to deal with her own stubborn dog demon as it were. She felt almost honor bound to fix the sadness in the little girl's eyes, as if it'd fix her own pain.

And it's funny that when love is denied, it finds other avenues...It squirms around, snake-like, until it finds that vulnerable spot and it strikes without warning. Love takes many shapes...many forms and it can be given to more than one person. Of all the emotions, it is the most all encompassing and one way or another it finds a way into your life.

You can't live with it, can't live without it.

Kagome smiled wryly at this thought. It was the first time in two and half weeks that she'd pondered love. Thankfully, this time, it had nothing to do with Inuyasha or their uncomfortable relationship. It had everything to do with one little dark haired girl that had suddenly come into her life. Rin, the irrepressibly sweet ward to one Sesshoumaru, Inuyasha's hated older brother...or rival...or arch nemesis...depending on the day but that didn't matter to her at the moment. Who the girl hung out with for the other twenty two hours of the day was without consequence. The wry smile reformed, softening into something more wistful as she watched Rin and Shippou play.

Funny, how children no matter their heritage were always children.

They danced in the half light between day and true evening. The sun was slowly sinking and though it was still bright, it had begun to tinge a faded amber as night approached. Kagome gazed at it, her eyes narrowing warmly as she remembered a time when she played so carelessly. She thought about how short childhood was. When she was younger, she took the time she had for granted. As a child, she'd looked up to her parents and their worries with confusion. Sometimes, her parent's would let out their problems and the knowledge would seep into her bright, carefree world. And she'd get afraid, looking up to her parents for strength. At the time, they seemed so proudly focused. Like a pair of unmoving towers that'd hold all the bad things in the world at bay. She'd never understood her parent's worries and when trying to comfort them, would end up being comforted by them instead.

Time passed so quickly when you're young, going from being a carefree child to tortured teenager to stress addled adult in the blink of an eye. That was the way it seemed to her anyways. One minute there was nothing to worry about and the next there seemed to be nothing BUT worries.

When she was only twelve it had occurred to her that within the next year she'd be an actual teenager. Her mind had wandered to the long years ahead and suddenly the future didn't seem as far away as it did when she was much younger. The future seemed even closer now, which was a weird thought to be having while in the past. Again, her experience with time travel had the tendency to unnerve her.

The future. What a scary thought _that_ was. Here she was in the feudal era when where she should be was in cram school with the rest of the kids her age. How in the hell was she going to get into a decent college at this rate? High school exams were coming up and she could already feel the dread welling inside her. Thank the gods for summer break. August was just around the corner and she could sure as hell use a month long vacation from all this silliness. It'd give her a chance to more thoroughly search for jewel shards...which would make Inuyasha incredibly happy. And maybe...just maybe...It'd make going back to school in the fall easier. If she could just convince Inuyasha. Yes, she could make a deal with him. One month of mostly uninterrupted shard hunting for around three months of peace. It was perfect! Shard hunting on the weekends and studying the rest of the week and that way she'd still be helping out and what not while dialing it back a bit so she could focus on her studies...then...then things would be golden!

She could almost pat herself on the back for her cleverness.

Of course, this was all assuming she could get Inuyasha to agree with it. Kagome pouted, knowing that it would never be as easy as all that. She'd keep her word and the time would come for him to do the same and then...And then Naraku would appear in a cloud of purple smoke with his stupid _'Deadly Bees_', and with this thought she mentally wiggled her fingers because Naraku deserved the creepy finger treatment. Then there'd be a big 'ol fight and in the end Naraku would get away. Leaving Inuyasha to shout expletives and threats at his retreating back, and when the smoke would clear, he'd be more intent than ever on finding the bastard. This would mean stepping up the shard hunting...it would also mean that she was totally boned. Goodbye cram school! Screw you high school exams! Hello to her exciting new career in the fast food industry!

"Maybe I should just give up and buy myself a little paper hat..." She mumbled to herself sullenly.

She didn't even look good in orange. Kagome frowned, feeling that this was all terribly unfair. Fate and destiny were screwing with her, they really were and she didn't like it one bit. She'd always believed that things happened for a reason, even if you didn't understand it. So with this presumption, she knew that she was meant to come back to this time. Yet she still had her life back in her own time. She was torn...her back was against the wall in both eras and the stress was going to drive her mad.

If this was what being an adult was like, then she really didn't want to grow up any more than she already was. In fact, if she could fold back the fabric of time and space, she'd go back to being a child again. It was better than the constant confusion.

Her eyes then lighted on Rin's dancing shadow. Was it so awful to wish to be that happy again? That oblivious. But when she really looked at it, without rose colored glasses, childhood wasn't always that easy. Life in all its beauty was as painful as it was wonderful. It was frustrating but rewarding. Sometimes pointless but at the same time filled with purpose. Old or young, it didn't matter. In some ways, being a child had its disadvantages. At least now she knew what to expect. The world could be a scary and uncertain place for a child, no matter the era. It's a place where someone important could be taken from you without warning or explanation. How confusing those times can be. When all the adults around you are too broken to help you understand your own pain. One moment someone is there and they love and the next they're gone and they're in agony.

Now she understood what the adults around her had tried to do. They were just trying to protect her from the truth but now...now she knew. Her parents weren't invincible towers, they were human. Fragile. As fragile as she was and with no one to kiss the pain away, because adults just have to deal with it. They have to maintain the facade of calm in the face of their children. When all they want to do is cry.

Is this what the gods wanted to teach her? Is that why she was here?

Was time and circumstance trying to disabuse her of most of her more childish notions? Slowly, she began to understood why her mother and father acted the way they did. They did it for her and for her brother. They wanted nothing but the best for her. The words of her father rang out to her from the darkness. She remembered the rainy day in question. She'd gone outside without telling her parents where she was. She went to play on the far side of the shrine...she'd fallen and twisted her ankle...and as she limped home, she could remember the look on her father's face. He was so angry and she was confused, because she was hurting and wet and she just wanted her daddy. And what had she done to make him so mad? He carried her home without a word and when they got inside, she was given a firm lecture. She cried. She could remember the feeling of her hot tears, and the sense that this was all so unfair. It wasn't like she killed anyone! Then her father hugged her and how she wanted to pull away and just yell at him. But she didn't. In the warmth of his embrace he told her something that stayed with her to this day. Something that for a long time, she was slightly bitter about, as any child who just got reprimanded would be.

"_I'm sorry I yelled at you...and I know you don't understand. But someday you will. You'll see...someday that everything I ever told you was right_."

It was so damned arrogant. The sick thing was...he was right. It was a hard pill to swallow, but her father was right. The things her parents did were all because they worried about her. They loved her and were afraid of losing her, and the rules they set were only there because they wanted to protect her. Because they knew that she only had one life to live and they wanted her to enjoy it. Not to fear it.

Sometimes, she wondered why her mother allowed her to go to the feudal era, knowing all the dangers. Kagome watched the children play more intently. Perhaps she knew something she didn't. Maybe this was her mother's way of saying...you go Kagome, find where you belong. In a way, she felt like her mother was trying to show her how to live off her own strength, without depending on others. Looking into the sky, she knew she had yet to fully learn that lesson. Things felt so stagnant...like she was waiting but what she was waiting for was beyond a mystery. She couldn't help but think that she was at the edge of something important...something life changing.

If only change didn't hurt so damn much.

The children giggled and the sounds of their merriment filled the empty field. Kagome couldn't help the smile that graced her face. Shippou and Rin both had been through a kind of hell that she couldn't imagine. Her own loss seemed so small in comparison with theirs. Her father might have passed but she still had Momma, Grandpa and Souta. They had nothing and no one, yet here they were, laughing like there was no tomorrow. Try as she might, she could never replace what Rin and Shippou had lost. But she'd be damned if she wouldn't try.

Shippou must have said something funny, because all of a sudden, Rin began to laugh hysterically. The giggles coming out in furious gales of high pitched laughter that was damn near infectious. She felt a chuckle of her own form as she watched Rin hold her stomach and fall dramatically to the ground, rolling back and forth as she laughed.

Funny, despite the pain in their lives, children find their own way to move on. She had to admire their resilience, maybe even envy it a little.

Her subdued smile widened and Kagome closed her eyes, sending a silent prayer to the skies as she turned her face to the last rays of the sun. And to the eyes of one little girl, she looked serenely beautiful, reminding her of a carving she once saw of the Goddess Kannon. Rin had remembered and kept all the lessons her Lord had taught her. Kannon was the goddess of mercy, she heard the cries of all creation and if she thought you worthy enough, she would answer them. She'd prayed to Kannon on more than one occasion and now...she wondered if her prayers had been answered. Maybe this was Kannon in the flesh. Kagome was certainly as beautiful as any goddess, at least in her humble opinion. Yet she knew that the girl was as human as she because Sesshoumaru-sama has said so and Sesshoumaru-sama never, ever lied. So maybe Kannon had sent Kagome to her. Yes, that had to be it.

Shippou was still chasing fireflies and Rin was tired of chasing fireflies because you could never catch them without hurting them. Smiling softly, she sat down next to the older girl to wait for her to wake up. Kagome pulled herself out of her reverie and immediately looked down at her young friend.

"Hey, Rin. What's up?"

Rin had learned what that question meant. The first time Kagome had asked it, she'd gotten very confused. Without questioning the elder girl, she looked up because she wanted very much answer her question correctly. Sesshoumaru-sama stressed the importance of answering quickly and correctly. So she immediately replied that the sky was up. Looking at Kagome expectantly, she was shocked to find the older girl laughing so hard her face turned red. At the time, Rin had been worried and embarrassed because she obviously made some sort of mistake. That was until Kagome had breathlessly explained what she had meant and had assured her she'd done nothing wrong. '_What's up'_ was just a saying where Kagome came from and she had forgotten that Rin didn't know it. She just felt relieved she hadn't made a mistake and had in fact made a funny joke.

This was the first of many things that puzzled her about Kagome. So it made perfect sense to her that she had to be sent by the gods. Otherwise, why else would she dress and act so weird? She had thought to ask Kagome herself, but she knew it was rude. Sesshoumaru-sama said it was impolite to accuse someone of something before you knew for sure. He said that you had to gather all the necessary information before acting on it, otherwise you proved yourself a brash fool. And Rin didn't want to be a brash fool. Still...

"Rin...you okay? You're being awfully quiet..."

"I'm alright, Kagome-chan." She said, sighing softly while she thought about what she ought to do. "How are you?"

"I'm okay. Anything I can do for you? You look like you were thinking about something."

She shook her head and watched Kagome watching the sunset. Rin observed the older girl's movements, just as her lord had taught her to. When dealing with a problem, her lord had told her to watch first then make the appropriate decision. Clutching the flowers she gathered in her hand, Rin felt a tiny tug of sorrow in her chest. The way the older girl looked as she basked in the last rays of the sun was familiar. Too familiar. It reminded her of times barely remembered, before she came to be in the service of her lord. Her mother used to look like that when all the work was done at the end of the day. She'd sit down on the hill by their house, and she'd close her eyes and bask in the sunlight...just like that.

Kagome could feel the little girl's eyes on her. She knew that there were questions she wanted to ask. A hundred unspoken questions hung between them since the first day they met. Patience was a virtue. She'd always believed that, so she waited for Rin to be ready. If she pushed too hard, she'd get no where anyway. And it was plainly too painful to dredge up the past that way. The little girl peered up at her through her bangs, her dark eyes gone wide with worry.

"I was just wondering..." Rin started, her mouth hanging open when the words wouldn't come. She paused, feeling troubled by everything. Rin shook her head and continued, unable to look Kagome in the eye as she spoke quietly, "I was just...I w-wondered...if...well...maybe...you were...y-you were sent by the gods..."

Rin had expected the older girl to laugh at her like she did with the 'what's up' question. But she didn't. She even expected her to react a little like Jaken. All annoyed at her for being 'stupid and naive'. But she didn't. Instead, the older girl cocked her head as she looked out at the sun and contemplated the question.

Kagome wasn't expecting that at all. Speaking slowly, she replied, "Well, I guess that depends on how you mean it. If you mean literally sent by the gods, then...No..."

"Oh." Rin said, clearly disappointed.

"Hey. Not finished." The older girl smiled and ruffled her hair, "I might not be sent by the gods, but I don't think our meeting you was an accident."

Now Rin was really confused, "Huh?"

This time, Kagome did laugh lightly, "What I mean is...I don't believe in accidents. I think you and me and Shippou were supposed to meet each other. Maybe the gods did it. Maybe it was fate...but whatever it was...I'm glad."

"Me too."

A long stretch of silence followed that was neither comfortable nor uncomfortable. It was just there. The kind of quiet that falls between two people consumed in deep contemplation, which made the sorrowful gait of languishing daylight that much more beautiful. As the shadows around them deepened, Kagome's curiosity won out over her promise to be patient.

"What prompted that question?" Kagome asked curiously as she gave the girl a sideways glance before returning to gaze at the sky.

The light oranges and pinks of twilight gave way to the intense indigo and purple of true evening. And for long moments, the little girl didn't answer, seeming to be as absorbed in the sun's slow descent across the sky as she was. With a small sigh, Rin tried to think of a way to answer that without sounding terribly rude or stupid. Her mother had always said that honesty was the best policy. Staring into the sun, Rin blinked away the tears that followed that thought. She looked up at the older girl and though she looked like she was only gazing at the sky, Rin knew she was waiting for an answer. Kagome would never force her to answer, instinctively she knew this. But Rin felt that she ought to answer because it was far ruder to ignore a question from an elder like that.

Fidgeting, Rin answered quietly, "...It was just..." She paused, her brows furrowing as she struggled with her emotions, "...It's just...Kagome looked so pretty...like an angel. Like..." She trailed off for a moment, beginning again, her voice nothing more than a whisper, "...Like Rin's mommy..."

Kagome's heart dropped and broke in the same second those words reached her ears. It was the first time the girl had spoken of her birth parents and the girl had compared her to her mother. Sympathetically, Kagome glanced down at the little girl, lightly touching her shoulder to let her know it was okay. Rin looked down at her hands as they fingered the bouquet she'd made for the older girl. She fought her tears because she wanted to show Kagome she was brave, but it was so hard sometimes. Rin had never liked to cry, even when her parents were alive. It made her nose all stuffy and in the end, she'd never felt it made her feel any better. Besides, her lord disliked it. He had insisted that she was stronger than that. But this time, she couldn't help it. A small tear slipped beneath the curtain of her lashes and it was followed by a veritable flood.

All she heard was the soft sound of Rin as she sniffled, obviously trying far too hard to keep herself from crying. She looked down tenderly at the trembling girl, rubbing her small shoulders to try and comfort her. Realizing it wasn't enough; Kagome wordlessly gathered the little girl in her arms and simply held her while she cried. Rin had never been more grateful to the gods in her life. She tightened her arms around her newfound friend to assure herself this was real. Kagome smiled softly and rested her head on top of Rin's gently. She began to rock back and forth slightly, rubbing the little girl's back as she gazed at the fading sun. Kagome squinted her eyes, wondering if this was how her mother felt all those times she cried in her arms. Rin soon rested quietly in her embrace as her sobs tapered off. With a deep sigh, Kagome ran her hands through the little girl's dark tresses.

* * *

"When I was little...much younger than you are now. My daddy died..." 

Rin had been quiet and docile until she uttered those words. The little girl stirred in her arms and looked up at Kagome with tear stained confusion. She gazed back, her eyes reflecting her own deep sorrow. Truth be told, Kagome hadn't talked about this with any depth since her father's funeral. Most of the time she relayed the information as a basic fact, nothing more because she didn't really want to talk about it, it simply hurt too much. But sometimes to get something, you had to give.

"...I miss him so much and even thought it happened a long time ago, the pain really doesn't go away. Just dulls, I guess...you go on. You have to but it's always there. Losing someone always hurts..." Kagome stopped for a moment to gather her thoughts and push back her tears, looking from the little girl back to the sky, "But I think that as long as I remember how much I loved my daddy and how much he loved me...it's like he never left. He's always right here..." She said, holding a hand to her heart.

Rin wasn't sure she should ask but speaking in a small voice, she did anyway, "H-how...how did your daddy die?"

"An accident on the road when he was traveling...He lost control of his ca-wagon and it crashed..."

"...Rin's mommy and daddy got sick...but Rin didn't. Then lots of people in the village got sick but Rin still didn't. Rin was alone...They said it was Rin's fault..."

Kagome had tried very hard to keep herself from crying, because she needed to be calm for Rin. But the confession and the sudden switch from using the first person noun I to her own name was too much. Numbly, the tears slipped from her eyes and she didn't bother to wipe them away. Looking down at the little girl, she took her chin in her hands and forced the girl to meet her eyes.

"They're wrong. People can be very cruel sometimes, Rin. And cruel people say stupid things just to hurt you. It wasn't your fault."

Rin answered in a tiny voice, averting her eyes shyly, "That's what Sesshoumaru-sama said..."

"Well, he was right." Kagome replied firmly, finally wiping away her tears, "For a long time, I thought it was my fault too. The last time I saw my daddy...He yelled at me because I was being naughty. And when he left, I was still angry with him...I thought that his dying was some kind of punishment. But...now that I'm older, I know it wasn't my fault. It was just a horrible accident." She paused for effect, letting the words sink in as she brushed stray hairs from the little girl's face, "So, it's not your fault either. You can't control when accidents happen. Can't control it when someone gets sick. It just happens and it's how you deal with it that matters. I miss my daddy and I'm still sad but...I think he'd be proud of how strong I've become..." then Kagome looked straight at Rin and smiled, "I think your parents would be proud of you too."

The little girl didn't cry this time, even though she really felt like she might. Instead, she rested against Kagome, feeling the warmth from within and without as the sun dipped near the edge of the horizon. She sniffled and snuggled against Kagome; her hand snaked up and trapped a lock of the older girl's hair between her fingers. Before long, she was quietly playing with it; content to relive a dead routine she thought she'd never be party to again. Rin just watched the world pass, noting that Shippou was still trying to catch fireflies. Another question hung on her lips and for a moment she hesitated, but her curiosity nagged at her. She'd put most of the pieces together but she lacked that final clue. It was like she could see the picture perfectly, but for that one spot...the one part of the picture only Kagome held.

"...Shippou's parents...are they dead too? Is that why he is with you?" Rin asked softly, holding her breath, she wasn't sure she really wanted to hear the answer.

"Yes."

That word sounded so heavy, like a clacker on one of the large temple bells. It fell with one final swing, and the aftershock of the word rang in her ears relentlessly. Choking back a defeated whimper, Rin spoke hoarsely, "Kagome...I don't want anyone else to die...is that okay? Is it okay if I wish that it'd just stop?"

"Mmmhmm..."

"Why? Why do people have to die?"

"Death is a part of life...and I think, everything has to end sometime...but this is the way I like to think about it. I want to die frustrated and sad, because if I do, that means I have more life I wanted to live. We have to enjoy every moment. You have to love life and all its problems, not mourn it. Besides, death, it's not really the end of the road, just another turn."

"Do you think...do you believe in heaven, Kagome?"

The older girl looked into the distance with an oddly thoughtful look on her face before she answered carefully, "Well, no one really knows what happens after we die...but I like to think that at the end of this journey, we get to go someplace nice and peaceful. So...I guess, yes...I believe in heaven."

The unerring look of strength that Kagome held in that moment was breathtaking, only one other person in her life looked like that when talking about something. It made her feel sort of ashamed for having momentarily doubting the gods long enough to give into despair. Kagome...she really was an angel.

"...I'm sorry..."

"Why?"

"For crying." Rin replied quietly, flicking a dark lock of her friend's hair over one finger absently, "Sesshoumaru-sama never cries. And I want to be strong...like him...like you..."

Kagome smiled, giggling lightly, "Don't be sorry, silly girl. Crying doesn't make you weak. Only human and that's okay. Besides, I think you're very strong and so does Sesshoumaru."

"Really?" Rin asked, her high voice squeaking with renewed vigor.

"Yup. Sesshoumaru is a very strong demon. Do you really think he'd tolerate someone who was weak?" Kagome said, feeling just a bit odd at give Sesshoumaru a quasi-compliment, as he was-technically-her enemy. The little girl didn't notice the internal struggle and slowly shook her head, "No, he doesn't. So would he let you follow him if he thought you were weak?" Rin shook her head again, "Well then...I guess there's nothing to worry about, right?"

Rin nodded slowly, both of them falling silent as they'd managed to talk themselves out. A rarity for both girls.

The minutes traversed by in a slow refrain, neither girl particularly noting their passing. They were too absorbed in their own thoughts and the strange well of comfort they'd just built. Rin relaxed herself in the older girl's arms, both of them fidgeting a bit till they were comfortable. A small smile formed on Kagome's face as she watched with muted amusement as Shippou continued his quest to capture a firefly. Apparently the futility of the effort was lost on him, as he continued to do it without pause. As if he hadn't even thought about giving up. Rin seemed to be as amused by the sight as she was, if the small giggle she just heard was any judge.

"Kagome?"

"Hmmm?"

"Can we stay like this?" Rin asked, tilting her head up from its resting place to look up at her friend with anticipation.

"Absolutely."

They shared a smile, but the moment was interrupted by Shippou's excited shouts.

"KAGOME! KAGOME! I CAUGHT ONE! I CAUGHT ONE!" He exclaimed as he ran up to her, holding his cupped hands out triumphantly.

"Caught what?"

"A FIREFLY! LOOK!" He said, opening his hands slowly to reveal the glowing form of a firefly.

Before Kagome could warn him, he opened his hands just a bit too wide and the firefly escaped. It rose quickly to join its brethren that danced slowly around them.

"AW!" Shippou said dejectedly, watching his hard earned victory fly away.

Neither girl could help themselves, they laughed at him. It was too funny not to. Shippou was about to get indignant but then he smelled the distinctive scent of freshly spilled tears. What in the world had gone on while he was away? Girls were honestly the most confusing creatures in the world. But his father had always said that a good man takes care of the women in his life. He makes sure that they are okay, and sometimes that means asking them about their...feelings. It was a terrible duty, but one that no _real_ man should shirk. And though he wasn't full grown, he accepted this difficult task with true dignity. Unlike certain hanyou he could name.

Shippou tipped his head and looked at the girls inquisitively, "Is everyone okay?"

"Yes, why do you ask?" Kagome replied, a bit suspiciously to his ears.

"Cus someone was crying. I can smell it."

"It's nothing. Just girl stuff."

The kit wasn't convinced, looking from Kagome to Rin and then back again. Rin had been the one crying and Kagome had comforted her. Leave it to his big sis to make things all better.

"Well, if you two are sure." Shippou said, crossing his arms and nodding his head, as if he'd firmly resolved the situation himself.

Again, Kagome and Rin couldn't help but laugh at the little fox demon. This time, he did get indignant. Much to everyone's amusement. In the midst of a freeing giggle fit, Kagome had a moment of inspiration. Mid-laugh, she noticed the sudden proliferation of fireflies. As it got darker, more and more of them came out from their daytime hiding places.

"Shippou, get me my bag...I got an idea!"

* * *

He smiled widely at her, knowing full well that Kagome's ideas often involved trouble but the fun kind of trouble. Grinning from ear to ear, the fox demon gave a curt nod before running the short distance to the spot where she left her bag. Awkwardly, he picked it up, his little claws curling around the bag's straps. He grunted at bit as he pulled it into his small arms. It wasn't that it was heavy or anything, he was just unused to its weight. With another little grunt, he held it out in front of him as best he could, making his way back to Kagome and Rin clumsily. 

She smiled slightly at the kit's approach, noting his wavering progress. It looked like he might fall over at any minute. She probably should have just gotten it herself but she didn't really want to let go of Rin yet. There was a feeling deep inside that it was important for her to continue to comfort the girl. At least until her plan was formed. Shippou stumbled at bit and with a squeak was barely able to maintain his balance. She watched as he tittered on one foot, hopping a bit before he caught himself and started to walk again. Kagome giggled, he was really too cute for his own good. Shippou wobbled up to them, the pack he carried bouncing wildly as he stumbled forward. With a loud sigh, Shippou let go of the bag, trying his best to set it down gently. It made a disturbing fwump sound as it connected with the ground and he grimaced, hoping he didn't break anything. Kagome didn't seem worried, so he guessed it was okay. She whispered something to Rin and the young girl obediently slipped off Kagome's lap and sat next to her.

She pulled the worn, yellow backpack closer to her and carelessly opened the flap. This particular bag had been with her for a long time and she'd rarely shown it any kind of gentleness. It was made to be used for this purpose and she liked things better when they were well worn. Shippou sat down next to Rin and watched Kagome with detached interest. This was a familiar ritual for him and he was used to the amazing things she'd pull out of that backpack.

Admittedly, the first time she showed up with it, he'd been awed and for the longest time he thought that it was a magic bag. Some of his father's relatives had neat stuff like that, but he'd never known a human that had one. It wasn't until curiosity had gotten the better of him and he actually looked in the pack that he found out it wasn't magical at all, just a normal backpack for an unusual human. He never really believed all that from the future nonsense till then. Shippou grinned, remembering her amused outrage when she found him digging in her backpack. She quit yelling when he held up a strange white garment with two funny holes in it. Kagome called them underwear and seemed to be a bit embarrassed about him finding it. She never did explain to him why and what the strange garment was. He supposed it was some girl thing. That's what Miroku had told him, anyways.

Shippou glanced over at Rin, and wasn't surprised to find her eyes were as wide as saucers. This was her first time with the backpack, after all. Kagome had said not to mention where she was from, so he couldn't explain. Not yet. Not until Kagome got over being silly, like the rest of the adults in his life. Honestly, things would be less complicated if they just said what they felt. Still, he could at least clue her in.

"OI, Rin!" He said, sounding more like Inuyasha than he'd like to admit.

The little girl turned to him, her eyes still wide and glassy.

"Don't worry. It's not a magic bag. Just a regular bag. Kagome keeps some pretty neat stuff in there."

Rin gave him a puzzled look and shrugged her shoulders, content to continue to watch Kagome in fascination. Her sharp, hurried movements spoke of a restless need that wouldn't be sated until she found what she was looking for. The little girl cocked her head and waited with patient curiosity.

Kagome was oblivious to all of this, furiously moving the contents of her pack around until she found what she was looking for. With a small, satisfied sigh, she brought out a pair of old baby food jars filled to brimming with rocks and other things she found interesting along the way. She wasted little time, transferring the contents of the jars from her hand to one of the empty pockets of the bag. Sure, the little bits of flotsam she collected were in danger of being lost when not properly contained, but it'd be worth it.

Screwing the tops back on the now empty jars, she dug in the front left pocket for her Swiss Army knife. Suddenly, her mother's mantra about always being prepared didn't sound so foolish and she now had to admit that the Swiss Army knife had been a good idea, damn it. Flicking out the larger knife, she pushed the pointed edge into the cap. It wasn't an easy task in the least. She grunted and scowled, biting her lip as she forced the blade into the stubborn tin lid. With a pop, she made her first hole. After a good twenty minutes of fighting, both jar lids had three rather jagged holes in them. They were just large enough to let air in, but not so large as to let anything else out.

She smiled triumphantly and presented the children with the jars like she was giving them one helluva present. They took the jars, looking at each other and then Kagome with bewilderment. Of course, they probably have never done this before. Grabbing Shippou's jar, she got up and gestured for them to follow. They did, both wondering if their friend had suddenly gone mental on them.

"Watch." She said with a small, secret smile.

Unscrewing the lid, she held the jar out and gently guided a firefly inside it. Quickly, she jammed the cap on the jar and screwed it shut, trapping the firefly within.

"See?" She asked, feeling vindicated by the twin looks of awe coming from her charges.

She handed Shippou his jar, which he eagerly took and he and Rin ran off to catch fireflies. They chattered amiably, jumping and running through the twilight with abandon. Kagome felt so full of joy that she just might burst. Strange, how life could go from one extreme to the other. Her senses twitched suddenly and her lips tipped up with slight amusement. They'd been seeing more of Rin lately, but not her lord. It was almost as if he understood how uncomfortable he made everyone else but Rin. She was sure it wasn't out of courtesy that he did this. He probably had his own mysterious reasons. Maybe he trusted her, maybe he just didn't like being in the company of people he considered his brother's friends. It was probably some strange mix of the two.

Either way, she hadn't minded much. Rin would just show up on the back of An-Un and they'd play until it got dark. The fun was over when the dragon would come and gently nudge Rin until she crawled up on his back. That was how it was for the last few weeks. So, it was rather strange for Sesshoumaru to show up now.

Kagome didn't bother to look back. She was too involved with watching the children. It had been a difficult day, to say the least, and she just wanted to enjoy the moment. He didn't call for the girl, and made no move to retrieve her, so Kagome guessed that he just wanted to watch too. Time passed slowly and after what seemed to be a dog's age but was really only about fifteen minutes, Kagome got up and stretched.

"Rin! Time for you to go, hun!"

"AW! BUT..." both children answered in unison.

Kagome smiled wistfully. Reminded of all the times her mother had called her home at the end of the night. It was kind of odd to be on the other end of it.

"No buts, you two!" She replied, frowning when they laughed, "It's not funny! It's getting dark and we all better get back to our respective camps!"

Muted grumbling could be heard but they obeyed, dancing up to the older girl with their jars held out in front of them.

"Lookit, Kagome! Look how many we caught!" Rin said, giving her a toothy smile as she held up her jar for examination.

Shippou followed suit and Kagome looked at them with as much seriousness as she could.

"Good job! You both sure caught a lot." She said, kneeling down so she was at their level as she looked into the proffered jars, "You want to know something?"

Both children nodded, knowing by the sound of her voice that she was going to say something very important.

"They say that fireflies are the souls of the dead, wandering this world until they find peace in the afterlife. So, I want you both to promise me something..." She didn't continue until they both nodded solemnly, "I want you both to promise that when you get back to camp you'll let the fireflies go." the beginnings of a protest were heard, but she silenced them with a finger, "You have to let them go, but when you do...I want you both to make a wish. The most heartfelt wish you can think of and maybe...maybe the fireflies will carry it to the afterlife...so that the people you love the most can hear your wish. And if you're lucky, maybe even grant it."

Rin and Shippou glanced at each other and then down at their jars. With slow smiles, they both answered in sing-song, "We promise."

"Good." Kagome replied with a nod. "Now, it is time to go."

She stood and turned to face the taiyoukai that had remained silent during the entire exchange. Neither child had noticed him until now. Rin immediately danced up to him, giggling as she showed him her spoils. He barely acknowledged the little girl as his eyes were locked on Kagome's. It never failed to unnerve her, the way he'd look at her like that. She just couldn't fathom what went on behind those eyes. For some god awful reason, she suddenly felt unnaturally curious about it. Why did he look at her like that? Why was he letting his ward spend time with them, the hated companions of his half brother? He'd tried to kill them...so why? He gave no answer, just held her with his eyes and for a terrifying moment, she felt her heart skip.

The demon lord straightened himself and turned around slowly, while his ward continued to chatter at him. Without a word, he drew his aura beneath him and securing the girl in his arms, he floated into the sky. Kagome watched, transfixed by the sight of him as he lifted into the air. The world seemed to stop as he turned slightly to look at her, a breeze whipping his pale hair around him. He looked almost angelic as he stared down at her, the fireflies gathering around him until he was too high for them to reach. She shivered, not taking her eyes off the sky until she was sure he was gone. Something tugged at the hem of her dress and she looked down at Shippou. His wide green eyes were fearful, but not as scared as he was before. Even she had to admit that she wasn't that frightened when she felt his aura behind her...but only just a little bit not frightened. If that made any sense at all.

"Kagome...do I really have to let them go? It was so hard catching them..."

"Shippou..." She said with a warning note in her voice.

She was giving him the look. He HATED the look.

"Nuts." He said, snapping his clawed fingers in defeat.

Kagome giggled at the use of the word...really, she was a terrible influence on him sometimes. "Don't forget to make your wish..."

The kit nodded, holding the jar close to his heart and closing his eyes tightly. When he opened the jar, he tilted his head back to watch as the fireflies escaped. They twirled around them for a moment, blinking brightly in the darkening night. Like stars, little green stars, they floated around the silent companions before streaking back into the sky. Kagome looked at Shippou with absolute serenity and slowly, she ruffled his hair. He smiled back and wordlessly, held out his hand. She took it and they both began the long walk back to camp.

"You want me to tell you what I wished for?"

"Nope. You're not supposed to tell until the wish comes true."

Shippou thought to ask, 'what if it already has?', but he didn't want to ruin the moment. It'd be ruined sooner than he liked anyway. Peaceful moments like this were so rare. So, instead he just enjoyed the comfortable silence, trying not to notice the shouts coming from their destination. From the sounds of things, Miroku had once again taken liberties with Sango's backside. Honestly, adults were really so very silly.

Miles away, in a much quieter camp, one little girl contemplated her promise to Kagome as she looked into the glowing contents of her jar. She really didn't want to let them go. They were so pretty. She bit her lip as she watched the fireflies light up and go out. It was beautiful...but she promised Kagome.

Troubled, her brow furrowed, "Jaken, I have a question."

The toad youkai detested the girl's endless curiosity and sometimes felt so put upon. Why was he was the only one who seemed to answer her?

"Yes, what is it now, Rin?"

"Jaken, do you think fireflies are the souls of the dead?"

"Who put that silly idea into your head? That filthy human priestess has filled your mind with silly human superstitions! Rin, you must learn not to bother this Jaken with such pointless questions..."

His sentence was cut off, due to the fact that he'd gone suddenly airborne. He landed not five feet away, crashing into a bush which he lay under for sometime, blissfully unconscious. Rin watched the entire debacle with a detached air, somewhat mimicking her lord. She knew Jaken would be okay, but it was still confusing to her as to why her lord would react like that. Could Jaken be right? Was what Kagome told her just human superstition?

"Sesshoumaru-sama...is what Jaken said true?"

"No."

"So...fireflies really ARE the souls of the dead, just like Kagome-sama said?"

"Yes."

Rin smiled, deliriously happy that Kagome wasn't wrong and Jaken was. Closing her eyes, she made her wish and then upon opening them, she set the fireflies free. Her head tilted way back as she watched them disappear into the sky. A small giggle escaped her lips. Never in her life had she felt so content and she wished... She wished that she and Kagome and Shippou and Sesshoumaru-sama could all be together someday. So that her happiness would never end. She didn't notice her lord watch her as she gazed at the stars, didn't notice the slight softening of his golden eyes. Not even when the corner of his mouth twitched into what could have been a smile. She was too busy thinking about her wish and the exuberant joy she felt for the dawning of another day.

* * *

AUTHOR'S NOTES 

Woot! Another chapter! Hurrah for me! Nothing much to say here. I had some questions regarding whether or not Sesshoumaru was going to be talking to Kagome soon. Answer. Soon, yes. But not that soon. If you have questions as to why I made that decision. Kindly visit my greatest journal. My user name there is Uzume. (For the fan fiction dot net people, just click the link in my profile.

I also have to announce that I do have a mailing list at yahoo. This is for the Single Spark folks and those of you who don't have accounts at fan fiction dot net (for reasons unknown to me, I have to spell it out...freaky) click the link in my profile or just let me know you want to be added in your review. Right! Later!

Ciao

Noa


	4. Late Summer Gifts

Kagome held out her arm and smiled welcomingly, waving at the little girl who struggled to swim towards her from the shore. She could tell Rin was having a little trouble going out so far but most of it she chalked up to fear. Cheering the small girl on, her thoughts faded and reformed as she processed everything that led to today. It was another rare break in the action for the tired shard hunters and she couldn't have picked a more beautiful day for a short hiatus if she tried. Things had been slowing down dramatically on the Naraku front. Not one scrap of evidence remained, not one clue that would lead them to his whereabouts. Nothing much was going on in the shard finding front either. They still managed to hold onto three miniscule shards and all they got for their trouble was constant demon cleanup. Yes, they'd spent the last two weeks killing loads of demons who found it convenient to surface now that Naraku was gone. Inuyasha was not a happy camper and had Kagome been more tuned to his moods, she probably wouldn't have been either.

But she'd ceased worrying about Inuyasha and the terminal case of grumpy pants he was tragically afflicted with as of late. Instead, she just ignored him when he got pissy or when in true doubt, she'd just sit him and that seemed to make things better. To his credit, he _had_ been nicer to her lately, despite his grumpy pantedness. Probably because she could spend more time in the feudal era, hence more time hunting shards and that always made him happy. He was such a simple boy. The thought pleased her immensely and she smiled even wider. She hadn't really thought much about the whole uncomfortable matter of their "relationship". The last few weeks had been so much fun, despite the lack of progress that she just failed to notice anything but how happy she was. Really, it was all due to Shippou and of course, Rin. Over the last few weeks, she'd seen a lot of the little girl. It seemed that every time she and Shippou had a moment alone, Rin would just show up out of nowhere on An-Un's back.

Thankfully, her terrifying protector had remained mostly away. Mostly.

From that day forward, Kagome had come to the realization that two children were better than one. Rin and Shippou were like an instant pudding mix. Just pour the mix into the bowl with some milk and stir...and then, VIOLA! Pudding! Well, more like fun and less like pudding. But of course, pudding could be fun. Well, actually it was more tasty which could be fun...but she was getting off track now.

Rin began to falter a little once she left the relative safety of the shore. Kagome sighed, she knew the little girl was wary but she couldn't let her use fear as a crutch. She wouldn't admit it out loud, but the last few weeks had been joyous because she got to spend so much time with Rin and Shippou. It was strange, but she kind of liked teaching them new games and watching them play. There was an odd amount of peace that settled over her soul when she did it and she wasn't sure where it came from or why. Maybe it was because it gave her focus. It was something positive for her to do. Rather than dwelling on things she couldn't change, she had something that captured her attention AND was changeable. Kagome was a builder though not in the literal sense. She strove to create where others destroyed. To foster love where there was once only hate. She was a fence mender, a barrier breaker. In a word, she was a healer, always looking to improve the world, person by person.

And though she might never change the world this way, she certainly made the lives of at least two people a lot better.

She'd never considered herself one of those girls who "Loved Kids". But who was she to deny the simple truth. Kids were kind of fun. More fun than adults sometimes, barring Sango's new game with Miroku, of course. The demon slayer had developed a brand new technique to deal with the monk's lechery. Sango had perfected the art of smacking the hell out of Miroku and then pretending it was a mosquito. Kagome let out a silent little snicker. She'd actually taught that trick to Sango. It was an old game she'd played with her little brother. Childish, but it did guarantee results. Miroku wasn't as fast to grope when the threat of a good slap across the face loomed. And all this from a simple childhood game. There really was a lot you could learn from kids and vice versa, but only if you took the time to listen. And Kagome had decided to not only listen, but actively teach and hopefully learn a little herself. After all, in many ways, she was still a child herself, no matter how grown up she tried to be.

And maybe, with all her world changing, she needed a little bit of it for herself. Maybe, she needed someone else to make her world better and somehow, it all began and ended here. With Rin and Shippou.

She had decided a few weeks ago that she'd teach Rin how to swim. Kagome wasn't really clear why she'd settled on that decision so suddenly but it had seemed like a good idea at the time. And as she had time to think about it, there were several good reasons to teach her, the most prominent being that if the girl was going to travel cross country, knowing how to swim was just a basic survival skill. Besides, Rin was a fast learner and it was more fun to swim with three people than with just two. So, she'd begun to teach Rin the basics of swimming in earnest. It started out quite well. The little girl took instruction very well. She would listen intently to any directions Kagome gave her and responded almost instantly when given direction and all without complaint. Unlike Shippou, who you had to practically poke with a stick to do anything, unless it was something he already wanted to do. As much as she loved the little kit, he was indefatigably stubborn. The only thing that got him moving were treats or the threat of him disappointing her, which made guilt her optimum weapon when dealing with the obstinate fox demon. Whereas, just asking Rin was enough to get the girl moving, that was until this precise moment.

The girl was two steps from quitting. She could tell by her pace and the fact that her kicks, once so furious, began to slow incrementally. Kagome let out a deep, internal sigh, and managed not to show it on her face, keeping the smile she wore intact by sheer will alone.

Things had looked so good when she started. Yet despite all her efforts, the little girl seemed bent on her own failure. The first few lessons had gone...well...swimmingly but then Kagome had tried to pull her out into deeper water. It hadn't been pretty. Poor Rin ended up scared and sobbing, which resulted in a boatload of guilt for Kagome. For quite sometime she contemplated on how to resolve the girl's fear. Talking it over with her mom one day, she had decided on a plan. Her mother had gone out with her and bought Rin her own swimmees and variously sized swimsuits as neither woman was sure of the girl's size, and besides, kids grow so fast. They'd also picked up other little odds and ends for the little girl, some of them keeping with the beach theme, others not so much. They were the little girl's reward if she did well. The only downside was that she had to buy two sets of treats, so Shippou wouldn't feel left out. She could remember the mischievous twinkle in her mother's eye when she pointedly mentioned buying two sets of everything.

"Can't let anyone feel left out, Kagome. With two children, you have to maintain the appearance that everything is equal." And then she smiled quietly to herself.

Kagome didn't like the insinuation but she obeyed her mother anyway. It _was_ a good idea, because when she finally explained her plan, she noted the look of worry on Shippou's face. No, he wouldn't lose his place as number one in her life, but he did have to learn how to share. He'd be Kagome's helper and for doing his part, he'd also be rewarded. And that was how the last few weeks had begun. With Kagome as their fearless leader and wise teacher, Shippou as the tireless assistant and Rin as the dutiful student, it almost sounded like the pilot to one of those ridiculous teen dramas she hated.

But again...she had dragged herself off track.

Rin had won the swimmees automatically, but she had to earn the swimsuit. And earn it she did. Kagome had started by allowing the little girl to cling to her while she swam out in the deep end. At first, she allowed Rin to just hold onto her and not let go. But gradually, she worked her into letting go just a little bit more, until she was comfortable with holding Kagome's hands at arm's length. This earned the girl her coveted swimsuit, yet still, the girl was so damned nervous. Today was the day she'd break her of it. Rin had to conquer her fear of deeper water and the only way to do that was to force her into it. She didn't have that much confidence when it came to new things. Kagome understood why but she simply wouldn't allow it to become an excuse. There were a lot of things out there that were scary to do when you looked at it from the outside. Not like it should stop you though. The reluctant pall in the girl's eyes and her frown were enough to tell Kagome she wasn't just ready to quit, she was _going_ to quit. No such luck. There were no quitters in Kagome Higurashi's world.

"COME ON, RIN! YOU CAN DO IT!" Kagome shouted, her voice sounding as cheery as the bells during festival time.

"YEAH! KICK, RIN, KICK!" Shippou cheered as he dogpaddled around his friend.

His presence near Rin seemed to bolster the girl's confidence and his constant encouragement and shouts for her to kick harder were greatly appreciated. Shippou was quite the little cheerleader. He could be amazingly fearless when he put his mind to it.

Rin was afraid and she admitted it. She didn't feel so bad in the shallow part of the small pond they were in but Kagome was in the part that was dark blue and very deep. It didn't help any that she could see how deep it was. If the water were a little muddier, then maybe it wouldn't be so bad. But she could see the bottom quite clearly and the fact that not even Kagome could touch it without submerging herself worried her greatly. Rin suspected that even Sesshoumaru-sama couldn't touch the bottom without going completely underwater.

More than anything she wanted to swim right out to her friend with confidence but she warred internally with her natural fear of deep water. It was instinctual really. She kept imagining these big jaws coming out of the water and swallowing them all. Or worse, that she'd feel the deadly tug of something slimy and awful on her ankle, just before it dragged her underwater to eat her. Sesshoumaru-sama had said that you should always trust your instincts and her instincts told her this was scary and that she should run away. But he had also told her that even though you should trust your instincts that you weren't supposed to let them rule you. Her eyebrows furrowed in determination as she focused on her goal. She tugged on every good memory she had in her to keep the terror at bay. The image of the jaws had brought _that_ day back, the one she didn't like to talk about. She squeaked, muffling it by pursing her lips together tightly. Pushing back the sudden wave of panic, she concentrated on Shippou and Kagome's voices as they cheered her on. Their voices were like the pretty green that brought her back from the dark place.

She could do this!

She wasn't afraid, just like Kagome and Sesshoumaru-sama. Rin could never imagine either of them being afraid of anything. Closing her eyes and concentrating, Rin kicked harder, until the muscles in her legs screamed. Everything around her became a focused sound that rang endlessly in her ears as she concentrated on the memory of that soothing green light. The sounds and the memory merged, until the voices of her friends became intertwined with the remembrance of the brilliant green light that led her back to the living world. Once the association was formed, she felt a brimming sense of confidence that overwhelmed her. The pinpointed sounds of her friend's cheers entered her ears, along with the hard rasping of her own labored breaths, muffled by the pounding water that surrounded her flailing form. She pressed herself to kick harder, to use her hands to propel herself forward as Kagome had shown her. Her eyes opened, and with a look of pure determination, she swam faster, her gaze locked on Kagome's outstretched hand. Closer and closer and closer, until she was within two strokes of her friends and Rin lurched forward, bridging the distance between them. Triumphantly, she reached for the proffered hand and the feeling of Kagome's fingers curling around her own was what reaching nirvana had to feel like. She could almost cry.

Kagome pulled the little girl close and hugged her fiercely with one arm. Rin smiled and wrapped her arms around the older girl's neck. She couldn't help it, she began to laugh and cry at the same time. The arm around her back tightened instinctively and Rin bathed in the warm feelings it gave her. Pulling back, Rin flashed her teacher a weary but grateful smile as she wiped the tears away. If someone had asked her a year ago if she would be this happy, she wouldn't have said anything at all. Happiness had been beyond her then.

Kagome thumbed a tear away, regarding the girl with a lopsided smile. She didn't want to say anything to break the moment, but it was awfully hard to swim and hold onto the little girl like this. Then Shippou made things slightly worse by leaping from the water to attach himself to the back of her head. It was a familiar place for him, one he often occupied, but now really wasn't the time.

"RIN THAT WAS AWESOME! YOU" Shippou exclaimed loudly, right next to Kagome's ear. He paused for a beat, noticing something was awry, "HEY! You're crying again! YOU WON!" He shouted, pointing at her for emphasis, "You're not supposta cry when you win!"

"Shippou..." Kagome tried to explain without drowning, "...She's crying because she's happy...not becaus"

Shippou scowled, immediately derailing her train of thought, "Well, that makes no sense at all!" Giving a bit of a pout, he looked at Rin earnestly, "You did a great job, Rin. So don't cry, okay?"

The little girl nodded and snuggled closer to Kagome. Her arms wrapping around the older girl's neck, and while Kagome was appreciative of the gesture, the fact that she wasn't helping to keep both of them afloat was apparently lost on her. This left Kagome to shoulder the burden, which she didn't mind. She was a pretty strong swimmer, but her legs were beginning to ache. Shippou wasn't one to be left out of the love, so he quickly abandoned his post on her head for her neck. Her head abruptly dipped below the water and wide eyed, she struggled up enough to speak.

"Okay. Drowning Kagome now. Wee people must let go."

Shippou immediately let go and dove back into the water. Rin was more reluctant, actually squeezing the older girl's neck a bit harder.

"Rin..."

The little girl grunted disappointedly, and slowly she released her hold, though she held onto Kagome's shoulders loosely for a moment or two. Smiling warmly, Kagome removed the little girl's hands and held them with her own. There was a brief little squeeze before she guided the little girl to her side. Rin obligingly left the comfort and safety of her friend's arms but it was clear to Kagome that she didn't really want to. She gave the little girl an encouraging wink before letting her go and swimming ahead of her. Rin tread water for a beat as she fought blind panic. She was alone in the deep part of the pond and she froze suddenly in fear, only regaining her confidence once she remembered the encouraging words and smiles of her friends.

With a shaky sigh, Rin began to swim and at first her progress was halting and unsure. She continued to swim, pushing back her fear and with each push forward, she became more confident. Very soon her strokes evened out, making her look less like a beginner and more like a natural swimmer. Suddenly it struck her, she was swimming. She was swimming with her friends! The thoughts caused a surge of joy and she found herself kicking harder. This time it wasn't out of the fear that was behind her, but the happiness that was in front of her. Rin smiled brightly.

And when she reached the shallow end of the pond, she was greeted with more hugs and love than she'd ever gotten in her short life. Even when her family was still alive. Kagome picked her up and hugged her, swinging her around as she did. A quick kiss was placed on her cheek before she was set back into the water. As soon as her feet hit the sandy bottom of the pond, she was promptly knocked over by Shippou. Kagome laughed, the little kit's idea of a hug could sometimes be more trouble than it was worth. Rin got up, spluttering and surprised. Shippou could only grin back at the annoyed glower the little girl sent his way.

This, combined with the laughing sent all three into an all out water fight. Rin was the first to throw down the gauntlet, slapping a hand into the water, sending a small tidal wave at the fox that started it all. It progressed nicely from there. Kagome managed to avoid most of it, being taller. Until both children decided to gang up on her, Shippou grabbed one leg, Rin grabbed the other, toppling her with little effort. She'd never say anything, but she had let them do it. Their cheers of joy at their "victory" were worth the bruised pride.

And after all the excitement died down, the three friends swam together for the better part of the afternoon. Kagome was pleased to notice Rin's continuing progress. She watched the little girl swim and her confidence seemed to soar with every minute that passed. Her earlier trepidation had disappeared entirely as she followed Shippou around the pond. For awhile they played Marko Polo, which made Shippou deliriously happy. He'd been waiting almost a whole year to finally be able to play it. They were in the middle of their tenth game when Kagome felt a familiar sensation prickling at her nerves. She paused, and looked over her shoulder, scanning the surrounding area for the offending demon.

Yes, she'd seen less of Rin's protector but that didn't mean he wasn't around. In fact, he'd made his presence infuriatingly obvious, at least to her. And the way he did it was always the same damned way. All demons had an aura that prickled at her senses. That aura could be strong or weak depending on the demon, and depending on how much of their power they were currently using. Her senses weren't as sharp as Inuyasha's were.

Still, she could feel it quite clearly when he was near and sometimes, it was almost painful. At first, she figured it was just the normal thing. Just her noticing he was around, until she began to notice that it wasn't just the normal feeling of his presence. It was like he was poking her with a phantom finger and it was really annoying. Sometimes the poke would be very hard and very noticeable, enough for it to register with Shippou. Other times, it was more subtle. Sometimes it was constant, sometimes it came in bursts. But overall, it was just annoying and she really, really couldn't figure out why he was doing it, until last weekend when she went home for a couple of days for supplies and school shopping.

She'd never say it, but she had Souta to thank for it, him and his freaky obsession with dinosaurs. Souta had always loved Godzilla, as all boys his age and younger did. The fact that he was getting old enough to leave the G-man behind wasn't lost on Kagome. It was all well and good for him to love Godzilla at age six but he was nearly ten now and it was time to leave it behind. At the very least, it'd be normal for him to develop other, more varied interests but he never did, much to her consternation.

This might suggest that her dislike of Godzilla as it related to Souta was a new thing, when this wasn't entirely the truth. It was one of those weird, long lasting arguments that most siblings have had at one time or the other. She'd always given him crap about Godzilla, just as she gave him crap for playing his video games too much. If she were to be completely truthful, she only complained to bug him. As an older sister, she liked to watch him squirm, just as he loved to mock her when she'd try a new make-up experiment or when he'd make kissy-faces when Inuyasha or Hojo came over. Didn't lessen her hate for Godzilla though or for the rabid fascination her brother had for the be-suited lizard. Yet she couldn't deny the fact that she now owed something of a life debt to Godzilla. As her brother's love for the man in the kaiju suit lead him to a general interest in paleontology and from there, dinosaurs. He was a smart little kid and he had begun to devour anything that had to do with dinosaurs. Their small living room at one point had been full to brimming with books about paleontology and not those stupid books for little kids either. Souta had sought out books written by the top minds in the field but even then things went hideously awry, as all things did when it involved her little brother.

It all started out so well. She was actually proud that her brother could be semi-literate when he wanted to be. Yet somewhere along the road, things had gone all wrong. He'd begun by reading books written by Robert Bakker, which was excellent, and it then that book led to another book by Michael Crichton which was not so excellent and that book inevitably skipped over to a certain movie by Stephen Spielberg...And this was how she ended up watching a dubbed copy of Jurassic Park last Saturday, and it was also the moment the mystery of Sesshoumaru's demon death pokey was solved.

She'd never paid much attention when she was forced into watching the movie. Sitting there in the small TV room with her brother, she just stared at the screen for lack of anything better to do at the moment. They came to the part where the raptors were introduced. The game warden guy was going on and on about how dangerous they were and Kagome couldn't have been more bored. Until one particular bit of dialogue caught her attention.

"..._had them all attacking the fences_..._testing the fences for weaknesses. Systematically_..."

That was pretty much all she heard before she felt the color draining from her cheeks and her mouth had dropped open in surprise, following by a furious punch to the floor. It wasn't one of those 'A-HA!' moments you liked to have. He was testing her. TESTING HER! Poking at her senses to see when she could sense him. Though the reasoning behind it was beyond her, it wasn't like she was the only one would could tell he was near. And it wasn't like she was the best at it either. If he was looking for a weakness, well, she had plenty of them. She wasn't a threat to him...well, maybe his armor but that hardly warranted the persistent poking thing he was doing. Sure, know thy enemy and all that, but he wouldn't exactly gain an advantage by knowing when she could sense him. And it was just...irritating. It did occur to her that maybe he was worried about her ability to protect Rin, which made slightly more sense. Still aggravated her though.

Kagome searched the area, seeing if she'd be able to catch a glimpse of him. All the times that this had happened, she could never pinpoint exactly where it came from. It had annoyed her and so the last few times, she tried to focus her senses to see if she could follow the feeling. Over the weeks, she'd gotten closer but it had still been beyond her abilities. She just bet he was smirking over it too. Stupid, weak human couldn't even find the source of her annoyance. Oh, how she'd like to catch him in the act...to do...well, she wasn't really sure what she'd do once she found his hiding place, if she found it.

Forgetting the game she'd been playing, Kagome stood up and strode out of the water, stopping just at its edge. The children noticed her absence, their gazes following her as she left the water. They bore twin looks of confusion, wondering why Kagome would suddenly get up like that. And the strange way she just seemed to hover between water and shore as she stared at the horizon. It was kind of weird, even for Kagome. Shippou just shrugged and looked over to Rin, who returned the shrug before deciding on a new game to play.

Kagome narrowed her eyes and balled her fists as he poked at her defenses again. She could just imagine him, sitting there with a smug look on his face. All, "_Ha-ha!__ Stupid human, be gone or I shall poke you another time!_" If she could figure out how to poke him the hell back, she SO would. Maybe she'd do just that. Then sensible Kagome broke in and chided not-so-sensible Kagome for being to impetuous, not that it mattered. No one told not-so-sensible Kagome what to do, not even her own brain. The nerve of that demon had wounded her pride. He doubted her ability to protect one little girl. The big jerk, jumping around the trees, poking at her...like he had nothing better to do than bother her, thinking he was so superior. Well, who was he to judge anyway? And if he thought so low of humans, why did he let one follow him along anyway? Who did he think he was?

He wasn't anything special. Not that she could see anyway. Just a big arrogant ass, who thought he was all better because he had powers and...and he was just a big stupid snob. An ignorant, rotten, spoiled, rich snob, just like the well to do bastards at her school that looked down at you if didn't dress and think like they did. She hated people like that. Being rich didn't make you better than anyone else. Your bloodline, no matter how pure, didn't give you the right to step on other people. She'd never bowed low to those snobs at school and she certainly wouldn't do it for Inuyasha's snotty half-brother. No matter how powerful he might be, she had every right to put him in his place. In fact, he deserved to be brought low by a pathetic human. That'd learn him!

No one pushed Kagome Higurashi around. No one.

Her anger flared and she closed her eyes and focused on the poking, following the flowing energy back to its source. Her eyes flew open and she spun around to the right, staring at the very top of a large pine tree. He stood on one of the highest branches, looking down at her with impossibly blank disdain. Kagome smiled with satisfaction, glaring at him with the kind of triumph she hadn't felt in a long time. He poked her again and without even thinking about it, she sent the poke right back. And she was delighted to see that he'd noticed because as soon as she sent it back, he disappeared from sight.

"_HA! I SAY HA UNTO YOU, SESSHOUMARU!_ _Gotcha_..." she thought to herself gleefully as she formed her hand into an imaginary gun. She held it out, pretending to shoot it, before whispering softly, "Bang."

There was a tiny warning bell in her head that sounded off at that moment. It clanged loudly at her about the foolishness of baiting a demon of Sesshoumaru's stature. The thought was forgotten as quickly as it formed, overlapped and overturned as it was replaced by the sudden need to fend off two attention starved children. They'd tired of waiting for Kagome to stop being weird so she could play with them again, so they'd taken matters into their own hands. Both Rin and Shippou had ganged up on Kagome and had begun to splash her without mercy. With the two of them working together, they were better able to splash the taller girl, much to her dismay. Kagome squealed and held a hand over her eyes. She bent down quickly, her own hands smacking the surface of the water blindly as she struck out at her attackers. Soon the air was filled with a flurry of heated splashes and the ringing laughter of three friends who had nothing better to do than enjoy each other's company. For the better part of the afternoon they played like this. Wakeful, yet not heeding the turning of the earth, and for all three companions, it was something akin to pure bliss.

The hard glow of early afternoon turned hazy as the day passed them by. It overtook the bedraggled trio as they finally pulled themselves slowly from the water to rest on a nearby hill. Plunking themselves tiredly on the soft grass, they ate, they talked, and laughed about pleasant things. And for a single moment, none of the world's customary violence and sorrow could touch them. Worries of the past and future were forgotten, as nothing existed beyond the companionship this solitary afternoon held. Kagome smiled dreamily as she dried and then carefully brushed Rin's hair, watching the whitish gold rays of sunlight turn to burnished amber. They had perhaps two or more hours before sunset. Plenty of time left to enjoy what was left of the day.

Absently, she finished brushing Rin's hair and summoned Shippou for his turn. He wasn't nearly as easy going as Rin was when it came to this ritual. Despite the fact that he wasn't human, he was much like a regular little boy in that he didn't enjoy being well groomed or neat. He quite enjoyed being dirty and didn't much care if his hair was a tangled mess. Brushing his hair wasn't an enjoyable activity, as it was with Rin. It was like wrestling a very small, irate puppy, only with less biting and more complaining.

"OW! Are you done yet?" Shippou griped, batting at her hands in a futile effort to halt the hairbrush.

Kagome rolled her eyes and sighed, "No, I'm not and if you'd stop squirming, this'd go much faster."

He mumbled something unintelligible in a tone that was scarily reminiscent of her younger brother.

"Yeah, grumble, grumble to you too, Mister." Kagome replied, "I guess I'll just give your treat to Inuyasha then..."

Shippou let out a small, panicked squeak of distress and then he suddenly quieted. She suspected an apology would come soon after, but she cut it off before it could be voiced, reassuring the tiny fox demon with a smile and a hug that his present wouldn't be regifted to the ungrateful hanyou. Kagome had really been looking forward to giving today's gifts. Mostly because she'd made them herself, well, with some help from her mom. With a smile, Kagome dug her gifts out from her backpack and cheerfully handed them to her companions. She'd given each child their very own backpack, made with her very own hands.

Shippou was the first to carefully open the draw string on his bag. No doubt, she'd packed it full with all sorts of interesting stuff from her time. He dearly hoped she'd included some candy. Fumbling with the drawstring on the sack, he gave due attention to the acorn and leaf motif painted on the soft canvas of his brand new bag. His hands curled around the familiar form of his favorite treat from the future. Pulling it out, he grinned. In his hands, he held not just one, but no less than five lollipops. Kagome truly was a saint. Eagerly, he unwrapped one and stuffed it into his mouth before digging more deeply in his band for more treasures.

"Fwank yew, Kah-goh-may..."

The older girl laughed openly at the little fox's muffled voice, his head stuffed firmly into the bag. Kagome shook her head and turned from the rather amusing sight to gaze at Rin. The younger girl seemed puzzled by the gift she'd been given. Rin looked at the bag uncertainly, her gaze shifting from the gift to Shippou. She looked up at Kagome in pure bewilderment, as if asking her what she ought to do.

Kagome smiled warmly, waving a hand at the little girl before stating simply, "Open it."

Rin cautiously examined the gift, her fingers lightly brushing the flowers that decorated the bright yellow backpack. The little girl smiled softly. No one had ever given her anything like this. Her parents, even Seshhoumaru-sama, had only ever seen fit to give her the very basics for survival. Food, clothing, practical things and while she wasn't ungrateful, she'd always dreamed of having toys and things other more fortunate children had. She'd always made do and had never complained. Rin understood how the world worked and she had calmly accepted it. What little she had in the world had appreciated, as it could be torn from you at any moment. This didn't stop her from longing for a little more, didn't stop her from wishing. As her mother had always said, it's okay to dream, so long as you don't get caught up in it too long and miss out on life.

Rin could no longer remember what she sounded like, but she'd always held onto her words. From the farthest corner of her mind, the shadowed voice of her mother called out to her, "..._And if you're very good, Rin...the gods will provide for you. Whether it be on earth or in the afterlife. Have faith_."

She smiled sweetly, tracing the outline of a small white dog Kagome had painted amidst the flowers. Rin wondered if her mother could see her now. She hoped so, because she'd been patient and good, and had never lost her faith. Even when both her parents passed. Even when the people in her village, that had been her parent's neighbors and friends, had turned against her. She' endured the daily beatings, and the cat calls and the insults. Always close to her heart, she held her mother's words and nightly she prayed to the gods. Believing that this was just a test and then they'd sent her Sesshoumaru-sama. She'd done just as her mother instructed her to do. Rin observed the customary tradition of showing respect to a traveling stranger.

You never knew who it might be. God or demon or man, it didn't matter. If you give courtesy, you will be sure to receive it. She'd taken care of him, even though she knew he didn't really need it. That wasn't the point, he needed help and he'd treated her far better than anyone else had. She should have been afraid, he was a demon...but strangely, she had never been afraid of him. He'd been polite to her and curious about her, asking questions of her in that quiet voice of his. No one in the village was interested in her. No one had cared if she lived or died. Except for Sesshoumaru-sama. He repaid the courtesy and kindness she'd given him with a favor larger than her own. She'd never be able to repay her lord's kindness, as he'd been unduly generous. From that day forward, she'd followed him, buoyed by her own faith in not only the gods but her new protector. And she thought that it couldn't get any better than this.

Then the gods sent her Kagome.

Rin wasn't sure what she'd done in a former life to deserve this. But whatever it was, it must have been very good to receive this twice blessed gift. If this bag had been the only thing Kagome had given her, it would have been enough. She'd have been grateful and happy, but she could tell there was more to this present than a simple bag. Licking her lips nervously, she gingerly opened the bag and began to pull out the contents. Rin instantly recognized the brightly colored wrappers of candy from Kagome's home. She knew there was some kind of secret about Kagome's origins. When she asked where Kagome's village was, the older girl had been evasive and vague, which was out of character. Kagome had always been very open and honest about everything...but that one thing. Wherever she came from, it must have been an amazing place to have such treasures readily available.

Shrugging, Rin dug into the bag a bit further. Her fingers curled around something hard and flat, and she frowned as she pulled it out. It was a strange brick of paper and when Rin flipped through it, she noticed the pages were blank. It looked sort of like the funny little books and scrolls she saw in the calligrapher's hut in her village. What in the world was she supposed to do with a calligrapher's block? The other thing in her bag was even more confusing. It was a box of some sort, decorated in bold colors with strange writing all over it. Rin turned it over experimentally, trying to figure out its purpose. As the box turned end over end, she jumped when she heard something moving around inside it. She frowned and shook the box, to see if the first noise was just a fluke. It made a pleasant plinking sound as the contents of the box shifted and rustled. Rin shook it again, just to hear the noise again. Now this was the kind of gift she could understand. It was oddly shaped for a rattle, but it made Rin happy all the same.

Not only was it her very first toy of her own but it was a gift from Kagome, which made it all the more special. Plus, she was pretty sure it would annoy Jaken. She couldn't wait to rejoin Sesshoumaru-sama, so that she could show the little retainer her new toy. The little girl's behavior when it came to the retainer was the text book definition of learning by example. She, like her lord, took great delight in torturing and generally upsetting Jaken for entertainment purposes.

Jaken's reaction to this new toy would no doubt be priceless. She knew it was kind of wrong, teasing him the way she did but she couldn't help it. He was just so funny when he got upset and he made it so easy. It was no secret to her that the little retainer liked her more than he was willing to admit. His half-hearted insults fell on deaf ears and his attempts to make her feel like an unwanted burden were amusing for their futility. Jaken liked her and she liked Jaken, even if he was sometimes rude to her. She liked teasing him even more and secretly, she knew that he liked it as much as she did. It was a fun game they played, one that she never tired of. Though someday, she'd get Jaken to admit that he was glad she was around. As kind as Sesshoumaru-sama was, he wasn't very talkative. Having Rin around meant that Jaken had someone to talk to who'd actually listen to him and vice versa.

Rin smiled as she shook the rattle again, imagining the sound of Jaken's high voice crackling with annoyance. She paused mid rattle when she noticed her new friends looking at her rather strangely. Cocking her head, she looked at Kagome inquisitively. The older girl just smiled and gently took the rattle from Rin's hands. She watched Kagome intently as she fumbled with the rattle, holding the box close to her chest as she pulled at the top. Rin was at first rather horrified, because it looked to her like Kagome was breaking her new toy. But of course, Kagome would never do something like that. So, she waited patiently as Kagome opened the rattle to reveal a number of little pointy things that were stuck in the interior of the strangely decorated box. The little pointy things were all different colors and Rin was having a hard time at guessing their purpose. Kagome pulled one out, and held it in one hand. She then grabbed the block of paper and proceeded to mark on the paper with the little pointy thing.

"They're called crayons...Where I come from, little kids use these to draw and stuff. See?" Kagome explained, as she continued to mark on the paper. Once she finished, she held up what she'd drawn to show Rin. "They come in lots of different colors, so that way you can draw whatever you want. You can buy special books that have pictures already drawn in them for you to color...or you can buy pads like this. That are all blank, so you can draw what you want to."

"Oh." Rin replied, drawing out the sound slowly as if testing the idea in her own mind.

Kagome handed the pad and the crayons back, and watched silently as the girl examined what she'd drawn. She wasn't that great an artist, but she wasn't that bad either. On the page, she'd drawn a picture of Rin, Shippou and herself as she saw them on this sunny afternoon. Sitting together, laughing underneath the bower of a great oak tree in the grass. She'd even taken the time to label each figure, just in case Rin couldn't tell who was who because...well...even she had a hard time telling. Rin stared at the drawing for a moment before looking up at Kagome with a bright smile.

"I like your drawing, Kagome but what are those funny marks over our heads?"

Kagome then went into a lengthy explanation of writing that probably bored the poor girl to tears. If it did, Rin didn't show it. She listened raptly to every word and when all the explaining was done, she'd asked Kagome to show her how to write. The little girl seemed especially interested in knowing how to spell her own name, so Kagome showed her. It occurred to her that she probably shouldn't be doing this. Women weren't taught to read in this era. Not that it was illegal or anything but she wasn't sure if was such a good idea, teaching someone something they had no business knowing. Besides, the Japanese learned in this era differed somewhat from what was commonly used in her own. Grammar was taught differently, and there were differences in kanji. There were quite a few characters that were common in this era that just weren't used in hers. So, if she taught Rin how to read and write, she'd use more modern characters. Ones that were streamlined for ease of use, and devoid of the archaic complexity that characterized the feudal era. Not to mention this was before everything had become more standardized.

Why couldn't she detect such tactical errors before she made them? In this time, people were less educated and sometimes, Kagome had forgotten about that. It made her a bit sad, but that's the way of the world sometimes. Still, it seemed unfair not to pass what she knew along but at the same time, wouldn't spreading her knowledge screw with the future? There had to be some kind of goofy time flux capacitor paradox stream thingie that she was breaking by just being here. She had often wondered if she was screwing with the future. Sometimes, she'd page through her history books wondering if she'd find some kind of evidence that she'd changed the future. But then it occurred to her that if she'd changed the past, then she'd change the future so she wouldn't remember what it was she'd changed in the first place, if she'd changed it at all. Kagome abruptly stopped this line of thought, as it only lead to a massive headache anyway. She just wouldn't worry about it.

Kagome showed the little girl how to write her own name. Carefully, she explained to Rin about stroke count, showing the little girl her name as written in hiranga. Soon after, she was gazing at Rin's name, copied over and over again in the little girl's own crude handwriting. Rin then insisted that Kagome teach her more. She'd shown her Shippou's name, Jaken's, even Sesshoumaru's and the little girl had dutifully practiced each one many, many times. After a bit, she left Rin to her own devices, as the little girl seemed happy to draw and write on her own.

The little meadow became absurdly quiet and Kagome almost wanted to laugh just to break the silence but she didn't. It was too peaceful, too dreamlike and all the time, she was just waiting for the other shoe to fall but it never did. Kagome had enjoyed the peace, she looked forward to afternoons like this and she couldn't help but wonder when it would all end. Because it would. Nothing lasted forever, especially something as peaceful and wonderful and perfect as this. Sooner or later, Inuyasha would find out what she was doing. Who she was traipsing off to see at every opportunity and though the truth was, she wasn't seeing his brother but the little girl who followed him, it wouldn't matter. Anyone who was associated with Sesshoumaru was bad business in Inuyasha's book. If he found out about everything, he'd put an immediate stop to it. Despite the fact that Rin herself wasn't a threat, his brother was. Rin was with his brother, and like it or not, he might use her to his advantage. The little girl could find out things for Sesshoumaru that he, himself, could not. Though that didn't really seem his style...but she could see the point, even if it was a bit paranoid.

She'd tried to think of a way around this simple fact but she hadn't really. Again, she'd made a tactical error and now she was scrambling to figure out a way to fix things. She supposed there was nothing to be done about it and so it was best not to worry. Once the shit hit the fan, she'd deal with things, until then she'd just sit back and enjoy the moment. Not the smartest decision in the world, but Kagome was content with it. As she watched the sun drift towards the horizon, Rin stood up abruptly to show Kagome what she'd drawn. Proudly holding her pad of paper up and pointing to each figure she'd scribbled on the page. The little girl was slightly more gifted as an artist than Kagome was, though not nearly as talented as Shippou, who Kagome liked to refer to as Mini-Hokusai.

She'd drawn several figures across the page. In the middle of the page was a small, dark haired girl, which was undoubtedly Rin herself. On her left sat a squat little blob of green and brown with big yellow eyes. Kagome giggled as she identified the blob as Jaken. Next to Jaken stood a proud figure, clad in all in white and it was odd, but the little girl had managed to crudely capture that look of cold boredom on his face. On Rin's right, she'd drawn Kagome herself and next to her, Shippou. Underneath each figure, she'd carefully written their names. It was undeniably the cutest thing she'd ever seen and she told Rin so. Shippou had gotten a bit jealous at the comment and had objected, showing her his own drawing. There was an amusing moment where both children argued about whose was better before Kagome ended the argument by declaring a drawing contest. And when all was said and done, both children became irritated with her when she couldn't decide on a winner. They were in the middle of a rather serious tickle fight when their fun was interrupted by the arrival of Rin's protector.

Kagome had honestly tried not to think about this moment, because if she thought about it, then she'd remember that she'd kind of, sort of disrespected him in an indirect way. He could very well kill her for sending back his demon death pokey. Her rationale for the whole incident was that what he was doing was annoying and she couldn't really help it. Not that explaining anything would stop him from killing her. The good news was he couldn't kill her now; he'd have to wait till later.

"_Way not to comfort yourself, Kagome_..." She grumbled inwardly, suddenly realizing that said demon was staring at her right now and he didn't look happy. "..._Then again, when does he_?"

Somewhere between the tickling and his arrival, Rin had danced up to him, bag secured on her back. She'd gotten on the dragon and she'd already left with a cheerful farewell, but her lord hadn't. He just stood there and stared at her. Shippou had waved goodbye to Rin, immediately turning around to better act as if he didn't notice Sesshoumaru's sudden intent interest in his guardian. He kept his eyes down and his back turned, pretending that he was drawing and not at all paying attention to anything. Kagome reminded herself to be mad at him later. Hesitantly, she met the demon's eyes and attempted a smile which fell within seconds of its arrival. Dear god, he was going to kill her now. First there was fear and then indignation. If he was going to kill her the decent thing would be to do it when all the children were away. And she was just about to tell him so when something in his eyes stopped her. He wasn't giving her his normal death glare, the one that did the weird freezy thing to your heart and caused your mind to become a complete blank. This look was more inquiring, as if he were assessing her worth which was as insulting as it was complimentary. His eyes narrowed fractionally before he turned and left.

Kagome released a breath she hadn't realized she was holding. Her heart was pounding frantically, and she could feel the sweat forming a slight slick on her skin. She hadn't noticed how afraid she really was. Perhaps she'd gotten a bit used to not being afraid of him that when it came time to be afraid of him that it was sort of an unwelcome surprise. Then again, she really didn't have a reason to be afraid. He hadn't killed her. That was something to consider. Kagome decided she'd stop assuming things about people, especially Sesshoumaru, who seemed to be as unpredictable as the wind and the rain.

Then she remembered to be mad at Shippou.

"Nice drawing you're doing there..." She commented dryly, looking over his shoulder at the blank expanse of white beneath his fingers. "...I could've used your help, you know."

He winced at the tone of her voice, but he wouldn't apologize. If she'd really been in danger, he would have done something but she wasn't, so he didn't.

"He wasn't gonna kill you, besides...I'm only a little kid." He replied quickly, bracing himself for her argument.

"I suppose you're right." Kagome sighed and stared at the empty page, "So, you gonna draw something or what? We still have a couple of hours of light left, might as well enjoy it as much as we can."

Shippou shrugged and put crayon to paper, drawing a nice little pastoral depiction of the afternoon that had just passed. Something bothered him greatly and though he never liked to second guess Kagome, as she was usually right, this time he wasn't so sure.

"Kagome, I don't think you should have taught Rin that."

"What do you mean?"

"I don't think you should have taught her how to write."

Kagome sighed. He was probably right. Women were rarely educated in this era and no doubt, a young girl like Rin would be more pleasing to some high and mighty future husband if she were ignorant. That was if she were to marry well, if at all. She wasn't sure what relation the girl had to Sesshoumaru, whether she was a foster daughter or a servant. Either way, educating her wasn't in his best interest and as royalty, what he did with his ward was his business and his decision, not hers. It was an awful way to look at things and Kagome hated it but she promised herself not to try and change things. You can't change the world overnight and in order for change to be enacted, you had to have a reason for it. Then she went and screwed her whole plan up.

"You're right, Shippou. I probably shouldn't have, but it's too late now."

"What're you gonna do if he finds out?"

Kagome shrugged, "Don't know. But I'm not afraid, if that's what you're asking. I regret nothing and whatever happens, I'll be ready for it when it comes."

Shippou smiled and hopped over to her side, giving her a hug. He really did admire Kagome. She wasn't at all like other humans and that was a very good thing. She was brave, smart, and best of all, she seemed incapable of the prejudice so common in this day and age. He knew why she'd taught Rin those things, because she didn't care about the inconsequential matters of station. She'd given him the same gift and when he'd asked why, she said that it was the right thing to do. To Kagome, it didn't matter if you were demon or human or both, everyone was the same. Teaching that little girl how to read might anger her protector, but Kagome was willing to face it because it was the right thing to do. As the sun relaxed its hold on the world, he cuddled closer to his guardian and promised himself that if she got into hot water for what she did, he'd be right by her side...no matter what.


	5. Late Summer Confrontation

Midday clouds rolled across the sky, lazily billowing as they followed invisible air currents guiding them ever forward. They darkened the sky, covering it over in a deep, hollow grey, making the world below them seem more dark and foreboding than it was. At the horizon, the clouds were tinged with a deep, almost malevolent black, signaling that a storm was brewing. The tops of the trees hissed lightly with a wind sent by the storm, a wind that told of lightening and rain. Yet, none of this was as unwelcome as it would seem. The rainy season had been short this year and though many feared this storm might be a typhoon, it was hoped that it was merely rain.

Villagers across the region had done nothing but pray for most of the summer. Looking up to the sky they hoped for a sign that the gods had heard them, and each day they were disappointed. Temperatures rose and rose, with no sign of relief. Rice patties across the region began to go dry and many were worried what this would mean for their villages. How would they make it through winter? Given the demands from the aristocracy, the tenacity of pillaging thieves, rouge samurai, and frequent youkai attacks many villages were faced with bleak futures.

They could only hope to salvage the last remaining month in summer to come out even. Still the rain remained stubbornly absent and there were whispers across the country that the Gods had forgotten them. Or worse, they were punishing them. It was no secret that evil had befouled the land, and had been running rampant for years with no end in sight. All simple village folk could do was hope and pray, but many were getting weary, their faith worn away by long years of suffering.

Many felt that the Gods had left them entirely. Why else would the Shikon jewel reappear? Whenever and wherever that jewel appeared, grief, pain and loss followed. It was a cursed thing, a blight on the pristine face of the world. There were many who believed that no good luck would come to Japan as long as the thing existed.

Others blamed the bad weather on a demon. Not just any demon either, a demon that had terrorized the countryside for far longer than most humans could remember. It was said the demon could take any form it wished, be it man, woman or child. This demon sought the Shikon, for reasons unknown and wherever it went, devastation followed. Anything in its way was destroyed and left to rot in the summer sun. This demon's name was never mentioned in anything above a whisper, for it was feared that to say his name would be like entreating him to bring misfortune upon yourself and all that knew you. For this demon was born of hell itself, and took joy in the utter destruction of anything good and wholesome in this world.

Naraku. They called the demon, Naraku.

His presence had scared the Gods away. Evil had overwhelmed the land, wriggling its way into the hearts of the people. The Gods saw this, no doubt, and were dismayed. If evil so easily rooted into the hearts of the Japanese people, why should the Gods show them pity? Why should they save them from a fate they'd chosen themselves? And those that still believed could only pray harder and with more conviction, to show the Gods that not all was lost. They prayed for rain, for the Gods to return, and for the quick defeat of Naraku.

It was known that there were many brave souls, both demon and human, that strove to kill Naraku and rid the land of darkness. But for all their fighting, not one had succeeded. Despite this, they still prayed and though some lost faith, many more held honest hope in their hearts, because they had seen first hand those that would defeat Naraku. There were tales of undead priestesses, rouge wolves, and raging demons, but the rumors that spread the fastest were all connected to a half-demon, and the strange new protector of the Shikon. She was supposed to have been the reincarnation of a great priestess. The same priestess who'd died defending the jewel in her first life. She was said to be as beautiful as an angel, as kind as a goddess and as pure as the most holy bosatsu.

There were rumors that she wasn't even of this world at all, rumors that she talked and acted quite strangely, as if she were a foreigner, though she didn't look like a foreigner at all. Surely it had to be a disguise because no human would have the kind of power this girl was rumored to have. Enough power to put the smallest amount of fear into Naraku, for the shadow he cast over the land had shortened since she came. He hid now and many agreed it was in fear of her and what she could do to him. Few knew it to be true but many believed that she had faced him once or twice, and had beaten him back.

She was supposed to be nothing more than a mere reincarnation. A simple human girl, but most could not believe that a human, a mortal such as themselves could do such great things. Surely, this girl was sent by the Gods. She had to be of divine origin to tame the unruly darkness as all the tales suggested. So it was hotly debated in the dusty street markets and pubs throughout the country what this girl was, for there was no doubt in anyone's mind that she couldn't be human. There were many people who wasted their day with idle conjecture on this argument. Going back and forth amongst themselves over whether she was a goddess, an angel or a saint. Some even thought that perhaps she was a demon in disguise, doing Buddha's will for a chance at redemption. Few knew the plain, hard truth and had tried to straighten the rumor-mongers out, only to be frustrated into silence minutes later.

The truth was, this legendary girl who was a reincarnation of the great Priestess Kikyo, was a mere human. This girl was ordinary in every way until she'd fallen into a well on her fifteenth birthday. That well had taken her here, for _here_ was where she was needed. And so she stepped out of that well and into legend. She could easily fool most into believing she wasn't so extraordinary, but she was. To the naked eye, she looked no different than any other Japanese girl, perhaps quite a bit prettier than normal, but still human none-the-less. She looked very much like her former self, though a bit more youthful and vibrant. Even in her first life, the great Priestess had been a bit somber. Her reincarnation was the exact opposite. She was giddy and child-like. Her spirit was an unquenchable fire, bright and burning, where her past self was as still and tranquil as water. This girl was by no means a simple reincarnation, though at the surface, one could believe she was.

Indeed, even the younger sister of the great Priestess Kikyo had first believed this. But as the month passed, Kaede had admitted, only to herself, that Kagome was no shade of Kikyo. There was no comparison, because as powerful as Kikyo was, Kagome had the potential to be much more powerful than her. Yet it was so easy to underestimate her. To see her as nothing more than a weak, mortal girl, a human with borrowed power. Even those who knew her best underestimated her. She was untrained and somewhat unskilled. So they couldn't fathom the vastness of her soul and the strength of her power, so delicately hidden inside her small body. They only ever saw snatches of it, which was hardly enough to convince them of her true worth. The girl herself had no idea of her importance. No clue as to how much power she housed and without training she didn't know how far it could stretch itself.

But she was trying.

Without any kind of guidance, but she was still trying.

Trying to live up to the legacy that her former self had left behind, she was trying with all her heart to mold herself into something resembling a proper priestess. She was trying so hard every day to be as good as Kikyo, all the while trying to come out of her shadow. And with each effort, all her inadequacies were thrown back at her. Either by the bitter voice in the back of her head or by the stubborn hanyou who'd captured her heart. It was draining. Tiresome. Aggravating. To try so hard and be constantly left with nothing was beyond frustrating. It was a long string of every negative adjective she could think of, all squished into one compact sore spot on her heart. Lately, that sore spot hadn't been poked much, because she thought they'd settled things. She THOUGHT that he'd stop thinking of her as Kikyo. Today proved her wrong.

On this rather gloomy day, Kagome was beginning to wonder, seriously, if trying as hard as she did was worth the effort. At the moment, it certainly didn't seem so. As she stormed through the forest that surrounded the village that would become Edo and eventually Tokyo, she seriously considered quitting the feudal era entirely. She thought about her real home, thought about that bright city, full of lights and life...and indoor plumbing. Where there were lots of people...people she knew and loved, and loved her back. Not because she was some reincarnation of a priestess, but because she was Kagome Higurashi. Soon to be graduate...Hopefully going to college...Former straight-A student and volleyball player extraordinaire, Kagome. Yes, there she was NOT Kikyo and it was a good thing. Here, she was not Kikyo and it was a thing to be thrown in her face at any possible moment and just when she thought she'd finally been seen as just Kagome that stupid name would come up again and she just wanted to tear her hair out or pound her head against the wall becauseitdrovehertothelimitsofherpatiencetoevenrealizethatshe'dneverbeenseenasherselfand...and.._AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH_!

She stopped dead in the middle of the forest and screamed. It didn't help. She frowned, more upset that her scream didn't help than anything else at the moment. It was nearly the end of summer, and with September approaching, she'd finally broached the subject of maybe taking a month off for her exams. That discussion hadn't gone well but this time she wasn't upset at Inuyasha's lack of understanding when it came to her studies. No, this time it was over something much more infuriating.

Kikyo. Kikyo. Kikyo.

It was always Kikyo.

She'd come to accept the fact that the woman was his first experience in love and therefore, held a special place in her heart. She really, really understood that and she was fine with it. Inuyasha was her first love and if she were, God forbid, to ever have another, that man would have to stand in _his_ shadow. But that didn't mean she had to stand for him comparing her to Kikyo all the time! At first, it had been interminable and she'd really resented it, but after a bit, he relented. And she'd breathed a sigh of relief, thinking that he'd finally stopped comparing her. Oh...but she was wrong. Sooooooooo wrong. He'd just been waiting for the right moment. Waiting until she forgot, so he could spring it on her like a very unwelcome surprise.

"HA!HA! You're not Kikyo! You'll _NEVER_ be Kikyo! SURPRISE!" she ranted, angrily under her breath as she charged through the forest, "Stupid...ungrateful...bastard..."

And this morning had started out so nicely, too.

They'd just returned home after two days of successful shard hunting. Having gained two more small shards, Kagome had felt light and giddy at their luck. It had been a long road, but with each shard she found, the better she felt, because it was like being able to see the end of that winding road. Besides, the more shards she found, the less grumpy Inuyasha became and a less grumpy Inuyasha was always a good thing. After this last effort, he'd actually been reasonable for once and had allowed them to travel at an almost sedate pace. He refrained from yelling at everyone to hurry up. AND miracle of miracles, he wasn't having a big, unholy fit about her going home. Not that he was all happy and skipping about it, but there was no yelling. Their discussion about it the night before had been a bit heated but no worse than normal, and she felt it had actually gone a bit better than predicted.

Then today had to come and ruin everything.

About ten miles from home, everything went down the crapper when they were attacked. A large boar youkai had leapt out at them from the forest, driven mad by several shard fragments embedded in his shoulder. The youkai seemed to have collected the fragments itself and heedless of the danger, was hell-bent on collecting more, apparently losing its sanity in the process. They knew this because the youkai was yelling and screaming it as he blindly attacked them. Predictably, the subsequent fight hadn't gone well. Due to the jewel shards it'd collected, the youkai was freakishly strong and hard to injure, much less kill. If that wasn't enough, it was so large that it frequently flung them around like rag dolls. In fact, it seemed to take great delight in doing exactly that. She'd been tossed to the ground so many times that she'd lost count. Her knees were bruised and abraded, and she'd put another tear in her school uniform.

Her NEW school uniform.

She'd torn it after the youkai had flung her into a thorn bush. As she struggled to get out, her dress and shirt had gotten caught on the thorns. Hence, torn uniform and torn arms...and legs, pretty much torn everything. Once she'd managed to detangle herself and stumbled back into battle, she'd noticed that Inuyasha was in grave danger of being squished flat by the boar's enormous hoof. Without a word or a thought, she drew her bow and shot. Unbeknownst to her, she was a bit disoriented on account of her close relationship with the ground, being thrown to it as many times as she had been. She was so disoriented that her shot went a little wild and clipped Inuyasha on his arm, causing him to fumble his own attack. Her shot had hit, and had prevented the boar from stomping on Inuyasha.

He saw this and gave her a rather nasty look before proceeding to beat the living hell out of the youkai she'd just "saved" him from. All she could do was watch him work in awe, feeling a bit bad about nearly hitting him but also feeling annoyed that he was ungrateful for her help. In his rage, the hanyou didn't notice that the boar was teetering slowly towards where Kagome stood. And she didn't notice because she was watching him just a bit too intently. With its dying breath, the boar youkai keeled over and died. It would have crushed her had Kouga not shown up unexpectedly, as per usual. He appeared in his customary whirlwind, snatching her up at just the right moment...completely out of the blue. They landed moments later, on the other side of the boar's carcass. He'd been holding her bridal style and she had to struggle out of his arms.

Of course, Inuyasha had caught them just before she'd been able to get out of this highly embarrassing situation. The look on his face wasn't pretty. To say Inuyasha wasn't happy was an understatement. He was livid, so livid that he didn't even have words at his disposal to express the feeling. She knew this because he wasn't immediately yelling. In fact, he was eerily quiet the entire time Kouga was near. She was surprised...and a bit unnerved. While Kouga pronounced that she was his woman, he said nothing. When the wolf turned and berated him for letting his future mate come to harm, he didn't say a word. He took the abuse with a twitching calm. It wasn't really alarming so much as weird. He didn't even say anything as Kouga triumphantly clapped him on the shoulder and complimented him for "no longer fighting destiny"...she was beginning to worry that maybe that boar had thrown him to the ground one too many times. The only evidence that she could see of his ire was the roiling fire in his eyes and the occasional flicker of his ears.

Once Kouga left, his restraint was broken and he exploded, ranting at her like he had when they first met. The expected jealous tirade concerning Kouga and his "interest" in her was pretty much your standard grade angry boyfriend rant. Nothing new there at all. She rolled her eyes and took it as best she could, pointing out that she had no feelings for the wolf. That the supposed relationship they had was pretty much one sided. Plus, it wasn't like Inuyasha was her boyfriend, so he really had no say in who she was friends with. This didn't still his argument, nor did it do anything to cool his ire. In fact, it seemed to add fuel to it. Having broken one avenue for argument, he switched to the next available bitch.

"WHERE THE HELL WERE YOU SHOOTING, ANYWAY? YOU ALMOST TOOK MY ARM OFF! WHY THE HELL DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO INTERFERE! I DON'T NEED YOU TO PROTECT ME, KAGOME! YOU'RE USELESS! KIKYO NEVER WOULD HAVE..."

After that part she stopped listening. Her ears were too busy running those last words through her mind. They shuttled through like a bullet train, destroying anything in their path. Her eyes glazed over and she let the hurt she thought had settled grip her heart like a vice. Those last words..._You're useless. Kikyo never would have_...

Didn't really matter what he said after that. He really said all he had to right there.

Kikyo never would have missed. She would have hit dead on.

Kikyo would know when to fight and when to stay back. She would have let him fight that youkai on his own, even if it looked like he was losing.

Kikyo wouldn't accept help from Kouga. She'd have killed him herself, and she wouldn't have stopped Inuyasha from killing him, like Kagome would.

Yes...there were so many things Kikyo wouldn't do that she did. So many things that she'd never be able to do that Kikyo could do with ridiculous ease.

Kikyo.

Kikyo. Kikyo. Kikyo! Kikyo! Kikyo! KIKYO!

She hated that woman's name. She hated that woman too...even if it was sort of like hating herself. She hated her.

No, hate was too strong a word. She violently disliked Kikyo for everything that she _was_ and for all the things that Kagome knew she _never _could be. It wasn't fair. In the moment, tears came to her eyes and she wanted nothing more than to cry a river. She held them back and used them to feed the growing fury in the pit of her stomach. Trembling with rage, she balled her fists and glared at him through her bangs. Her eyes glistened with tears and pent up fury. So many times she'd held her tongue. So many times she just quietly accepted, but not this time. Inuyasha actually shrunk back, knowing what that particular glint in her eye meant. He'd overstepped his bounds and he gritted his teeth in anticipation. She'd screamed "SIT, BOY!" so many times that'd he'd left a five foot deep hole in the ground.

Or so she hoped.

Without saying a word to anyone else, she calmly turned around, picked up the shards from the boar carcass and walked away. Once she'd gotten far enough away to not be seen, she started to flat out run for the village. She needed to put as much space as she could between herself and the hanyou. Because...because if she had to see his face right now, she might just be inclined to purify the hell out of him.

Every time she thought he'd made her angrier than she'd ever been before, he managed to raise the bar. Like he was competing with himself to see how much he could piss her off. If so, she wasn't sure which of him was winning, whichever was, she was surely the loser.

And now, here she was, stomping through the forest like some jackass in a giant monster suit, bawling like a child that'd dropped its lolly-pop in the sand. It was ridiculous. She probably looked terrible...she felt terrible, so it all worked out. Not that she really cared what she looked like right now, she was still too angry to care.

Reaching the Goshinboku, her temper still hadn't cooled as she had expected it to. She stopped at the tree and turned to look at it, shaking with unspent rage. It was like she was consumed by it and she realized all those weeks of swallowing her anger had done her no good. Emotions as powerful as that weren't so easy to get rid of. They sat in her heart, raw and bleeding, crying out for attention and now that she'd got around to tending to them, she could see the infection. See how her silence had eaten away all the things she loved about herself, leaving nothing but an empty, miserable shell. Tears flooded down her cheeks and suddenly she wished that sky would erupt and blanket the forest in a torrent of rain. She wanted it to pour, so maybe then she wouldn't notice she was crying. Maybe then she'd be too numb to care about her own sorrow. Instead, the gray sky did nothing put pelt her lightly, mocking her pain by allowing her to feel it. Maybe hate wasn't too strong a word. Right now, it just didn't feel too strong. It felt right.

She hated him. She hated Kikyo. She hated this whole damn era.

It had all started here. If she'd never come to the feudal era...if she'd never seen him pinned to this very tree...she wouldn't be feeling like this. It was like someone had stuck a red hot knife in her heart and left it there to leak out all the things that made her who she was. She was losing herself each and every day, she could feel it. She'd forgotten how to be Kagome Higurashi. Trying to mold herself to better fit a role she didn't even want. She didn't want to be Kikyo, nor did she want to be a priestess. But she found herself unconsciously _trying_ to fill both roles, and she hadn't even noticed it until now. She supposed she was just trying to please Inuyasha. In a way, some part of her hoped that if she could fill the role, then maybe she'd be less useless to him. If she were more Kikyo than Kagome, maybe she'd have a chance.

Pathetic.

Just sad, really.

And pointless.

She'd never be Kikyo. Never in a million years would she be what he wanted. She could only be herself and he just wasn't...he didn't...and she wished. She wished so hard that she'd never come here.

Her hands clenched briefly in anger. She swooped down and picked up a rock off the ground, lobbing it at the tree as hard as she could. It hit the small scar in the bark where Inuyasha had been pinned. Not satisfied, she picked up another small stone and hurled it at the tree, hitting the same spot. She kept throwing and she kept hitting that same spot with a scary kind of accuracy. The kind she wished she had when it was important. This made her even more dissatisfied, so she threw some more. She threw till her shoulder ached.

Last stone in hand, she hurled it at the tree, screaming, "I WISH I NEVER PULLED YOU FROM THIS TREE! YOU HEAR THAT INUYASHA!" She paused, her chest heaving and her face flushing a livid red, "I SHOULD HAVE LEFT YOU HERE TO ROT!"

Her voice echoed emptily in the forest. Yelling didn't make her feel better. Not much would at the moment. The only thing it did do was cause all the birds in the forest to go silent. It left her feeling more alone and lost than ever. She waited, she was always waiting. For a sign, but what that sign was and what it might mean, she didn't know. Maybe she wanted him to hear, to know how much pain he caused her. To know how hurt she always felt. Maybe she was hoping he'd come and apologize. Maybe if he heard...but it was a wish that was too much to hope for. With a frustrated grunt, she cut the air with a hand and turned her back on the forest and the tree that'd started it all.

With the forest now quieted, the only thing she could plainly hear was the soft pitter of rain. After a bit, the birds began to chitter quietly, adding to the already gentle hum of the rain. It was a dim soundtrack to an already somber day. Every step took her away from Inuyasha and towards the well, and with those steps she felt her anger diminish. It faded away and in its wake, it left tears behind. She was defeated. She knew it, could feel it in her heart. Totally, utterly defeated. Her shoulders slumped further and her heart sank with them as the well came into view.

Fresh tears fell on her cheeks and she felt like running but she didn't know why. She should just go back home and forget about the feudal era. Why, why couldn't she do that one little thing? So many times she had that thought and she never followed through. Why! She could easily make her wish a reality. Screw responsibility! She wasn't up to the task. Completing the jewel should be left to someone who was competent. Someone like Kikyo. Okay, She-with-all-the-deadness might be an unpleasant companion, but at least Kikyo knew what she was doing. Why have the copy, when you could have the original, right? She could just pretend she never fell into the well in the first place and go back to her nice, normal life. Her nice, normal, perfect, boring life.

Placing a hand on the worn edge of the well, she felt the aged wood with her fingertips. Her eyes became distant and hard, looking deeply into the bottomless depths of the well. She could shut the portal, bind its magic so that no one could go through or come out. Kaede had shown her how to do elementary sealing spells. It'd be easy. There was a small chance Inuyasha might break through. He was rather tenacious but that didn't mean she'd have to go with him. She'd just give him her shards and send him packing. Okay, it wouldn't be that easy nor would it be that simple but...

She shook her head fiercely.

No, she'd _make_ it that simple.

There would be no explanations. She'd just tell him exactly how she felt. Consequences be damned! And if the bastard tried to drag her away, she'd just sit him. Or purify him into liquid goo of hanyou. She'd do it. She really would.

And then something inside her broke because she knew it'd never be that simple.

No matter how much she thought she wanted to leave for good, she never would. What made it all worse was that she didn't even know why. She just couldn't.

_Do you really want to go back to that nice, perfect_...boring..._life?_

Deep inside, she felt as if...as if she did know. As if she had some kind of purpose but damned if she could figure out what it was, like she was hiding it from herself until just the right time.

_But when would the time be right? Would now be that time? Because_..._hello_..._emotional crisis, here!_

Her hand balled into a fist and she pounded the lip of the well. Raising both hands up, she did it again before sinking to the ground. She cried. Her fingers dug into the old wood, cutting ineffectual grooves into the lip of the well. She cried harder. Her hands fell to her sides. On her knees and sobbing, she let out a strangled scream and beat the ground with her fists. It hurt. The sensation was vague and unhelpful. So she just cried harder, her sobs wracking her small body, coming out of her throat in harsh, throaty wails.

She was so tired.

Closing her eyes and pulling her knees to her chest, she hugged herself. Her tears were hot and uncomfortable. They made her cheeks sticky and the area under her eyes sting. Her nose was stuffy and her throat hurt. But she didn't stop. She held herself and cried herself hoarse. All thought was lost behind closed eyes and mired in sorrow, cut off by swirling darkness.

When she lifted her heavy head, she wasn't surprise to find the scenery unchanged. She wasn't surprised to find she lost track of time. At this point, she wouldn't be surprised by most anything. Nothing in her life every changed...for the good anyway.

It was still gloomy. Inuyasha still wasn't here with an apology that would never come, even if by some miracle he did show up. It was still raining and she was still miserable.

With a shaky sigh, she wiped away her tears and sniffled. She sat on the ground for a few minutes, just aimlessly thinking, before she pushed herself up and stood. Looking back at the worn path that led to the well, she realized two things. One, Inuyasha would never come when she wanted him to. He'd always come at his own whim. Her wants and needs never entered into his equations. Two, she realized she need time to think, time to prioritize her life, and find out what she really wanted. She needed to know where she belonged. Because if she couldn't figure out these two things, she'd always be waiting on Inuyasha...and he was always too little, too late. She was tired of too little, too late. Very tired of him apologizing when it didn't matter, and not apologizing when it did. It was like putting an adhesive strip on a scar that had healed over long ago.

It didn't matter if he apologized later, if at all. It had mattered then. Better yet, why always apologize when all it took was some common sense. He knew she hated being compared to Kikyo. He knew and he still said it. And if he hadn't, there wouldn't be a need for an apology in the first place. Anyway, all of that didn't even matter. She wasn't really looking for an "I'm sorry", just an "It'll be okay" would do. That and maybe a hug.

Didn't even have to be THAT complicated. He just had to be here. That'd be enough at this point. It was so stupid. This whole thing with them...it was stupid.

She just...

She just didn't know what she wanted anymore. And that was the problem. Nothing made sense. A weary sigh escaped her lips as she swung her legs over the well and sat down on the lip, preparing jump. Something tickled her senses, it prickled at the base of her skull and she halted all movement forward. Frowning, she didn't even try to figure out who it was, she already knew. The demonic aura that was swiftly coming her way was too big to be Shippou. It couldn't be Kouga, because he'd left in a flourish of wind and leaves around a half hour ago. Wherever he was now, it was far, far from here. This left only one person.

Inuyasha.

She almost groaned. Bracing herself, she pushed up and stood on the lip of the well. It was a dramatic gesture that she felt would convey exactly how much she didn't want to see him.

Lifting her head high, she closed her eyes and said in a clear voice, "Sit, boy."

She didn't hear the sound she was expecting. Confused, she turned her head and began to repeat, "SIT..Bah-o-o-y." but the words caught in her mouth as she saw exactly who it was that stood behind her, "...Oh...boy. "

She felt suddenly colder as all the color drained from her face. The wind, at that moment, decided to rush through the field surrounding the well. Everything had gone quiet again, but this time not because of her noisy outbursts. The denizens of the forest knew danger when they felt it and they silenced themselves until it passed. Even Kagome had to admit to herself that not saying anything was probably the best course of action. At least until she knew what was going on. She felt stupid standing on the well, and she wanted to jump down, but her legs wouldn't move.

_Stupid legs._

Instead, she stood there like an idiot, towering over the motionless figure in white who regarded her with ill-concealed menace.

Gulping hard, she said the first stupid thing that came to her mind, "...You're not Inuyasha..."

His clothing snapped in the wind and his eyes narrowed slightly, "Clearly."

* * *

She flushed but she didn't look away. Licking her lips, she carefully stepped down from the well. Her gaze was locked with his, and she wouldn't break it. Fear was a natural emotion but only a fool gave into it. She wasn't afraid, even if her body told her different. Though she had to wonder why the stupidest things came out of her mouth in these situations. Apparently he thought so too, from the look he was giving her, which conveyed expected disappointment.

_"Humans. Their senses are so dull they can't even tell a full youkai from a hanyou. Pathetic_," said the look on his face.

And to that look, she made a mental rude gesture, one that she wouldn't dare make to his face for fear of losing hers.

She really didn't need this right now. Tensing, she pushed back all her own problems and tried to pretend everything was all right. She didn't want him to know she was having an emotional meltdown, not that it was a secret but she didn't need him to see her being weak. He was one more person in a long line who thought of her that way, and she'd be damned before she lent more credence to that idea.

"Inuyasha isn't here."

"Also obvious. You are a keen observer of well known facts. Are there any more blatant suppositions you wish to waste my time with?"

She blinked furiously, her brain unable to connect one thought to the other. A few seconds later it registered that he'd insulted her. A few seconds after that she became indignant, because she really, really didn't need this right now, her self esteem was already in the toilet...not like it needed extra help to get there. Stifling any tears or anger that'd make way to the surface, she gazed at him as levelly as she could. The only thing she wanted to do was go home. She didn't want to trade barbs with Inuyasha's coldhearted brother; she'd had enough insults lobbed at her courtesy of Inuyasha himself. Bad enough that it came from a friend, but from an enemy or pseudo-enemy...or whatever the hell he was...it was just too much for her to bear.

"Lord Sesshoumaru, to what do I owe this honor, then?" She asked stiffly, preferring to remain polite despite the wild urge to say something very rude.

Yet she was still half tempted to ask if he'd come all this way just to insult her. She held her tongue and managed a curt little bow, before looking him straight in the face. His eyes narrowed at that. In the back of her mind, she was sort of worried what he might do. He could attack her right now and there'd be nothing she could do about it. The question of why he was here was a hard one. He wasn't saying anything, merely regarding her coldly in the soft, half-light of the afternoon. It was unnerving to have his undivided attention and she wished he'd just get on with it. He seemed to prefer to intimidate first, and ask questions later, a very effective tactic. Why was he here?

If he was here for Tessaiga...what then?

She sure as hell didn't have it.

None of them held any interest for him, except for Inuyasha. He'd barely paid any attention to anyone besides the hanyou, regarding them as nuisances more than anything else. Pathetic humans meddling in affairs they had no business in. So, why? The only possible other reason would be Rin, and they hadn't done anything to her. In fact, she was quite fond of the little girl. Sure, it was a bit of a gamble on her part when she made friends with his ward, but she hadn't regretted it. And he hadn't seen anything wrong with it for the past few weeks. She couldn't remember anything she'd done that'd upset...him... and then a vague memory surfaced. One that left her a bit confused and a little frightened as she frowned, trying to pinpoint what it was. His remaining hand slipped inside the sleeve of his haori and drew something out of it. Throwing it at her, the object hit the ground with a flat slap. She looked down at her feet, her eyes widening when she saw what was laying there.

The sketchbook she'd given Rin. Looking from him to it, she began to scrabble for that memory, tearing the mental room in her head apart as she looked for it.

"Explain yourself, human." He said, his voice calm and clear, despite the muffled gloom that surrounded him.

For a moment she was confused, and as she reached for the pad, she wondered what was going on. Opening the first page, she saw her own clumsy drawing. Turning the next page, she saw Rin's drawing, which was just a bit less clumsy than her own. She turned to the next page and saw Rin's name repeated a dozen times in the shaky scrawl of one who was just learning to write. The next page turned, and it was more of the same, except instead of her name, the little girl had written Shippou's. The subsequent pages were filled with the same kind of thing. A dozen shaky repetitions of the hiragana for Kagome, Jaken, Sesshoumaru, Rin, and Shippou, and as she flipped, she could see the little girl's practice had paid off. The shaky letters gradually became more clear and defined. For a moment, she rejoiced and then she remembered. She taught the little girl these things, taught her how to write without thinking about the possible repercussions. Shippou had warned her about this and boy, howdy, was he right. Gods above, she was going to die for teaching a girl how to write her own name.

Swallowing hard, she faced the demon lord, her eyes locking with his uneasily. What the hell was she going to tell him? Better yet, what could she say that wouldn't end up with her dead...or possibly disfigured? Then an idea occurred to her. The well. Her eyes shifted subtly to gaze at it before slowly returning to his. Escape was so near. All she'd had to do is fall backwards but how to do it without him stopping her. He was awfully fast. If he anticipated her plan, he could likely stop her fall before the magic in the well activated. If he didn't...she'd escape him _this _time, but he'd still be here when she came back. Maybe not literally, but it wasn't like he was going away. She'd have to face him sooner or later. Still...She edged just a bit closer to the well, her knees pressing against the lip uncomfortably.

"Your stalling tactics try my patience, answer the question." He stated coolly, looking at the well with the barest hint of interest.

Her heart beat faster. She'd clued him in, now there was no way out of this. Looking behind him, she silently wished for Inuyasha to burst from the forest like he always had. She might be mad at him, but she needed him right now. One more instance where he was too little, waaaaaaaay too late. _Stupid, stupid Inuyasha_. Sesshoumaru moved towards her and she backed away, feeling vulnerable as the backs of her knees slipped off the lip of the well.

"What? Not so brave without the hanyou to defend you? You know as well as I how you left him. Perhaps I should thank you..."

Her fists clenched. That did it. That really, really did it. Bad enough that Inuyasha was always complaining about how weak she was and how much work it was to protect her, but to hear it from his brother. That was just the last straw. The anger she thought spent burned within her again. Her lip twitched and her face hardened as she let it wash over her. This demon was not Inuyasha and she wouldn't push her luck with him, but she was tired of taking abuse today. Really, really tired of it.

"No thanks necessary. I don't need him or anyone else to protect me. As for your question, all I did was teach her how to write. If that's such a crime, fine...kill me for it but I don't regret teaching her, and nothing you say or do will change that."

She thought about adding several scathing insults to her little speech but stopped herself. It seemed to be some kind of dog demon trait...or instinct...to lob insults like anyone else would trade compliments, like it was against their nature to be anything but condescending. She could jab him right now, hit him where it hurt. Show him how alike he and Inuyasha really were, but that was beneath her. Pathetic human she might be, but she was better than them. Besides, she didn't really know him well enough to suitably insult him in the way she felt he so rightly deserved.

"You taught her how to write." He stated, his normal neutral tone taking on a hint of inquisitiveness.

She paused, not really expecting that comment. Actually, she was kind of expecting some sort of "Presumptuous human" speech or something like that before he ended her life. That question didn't really enter into her equation for this particular confrontation.

"Uh. Yeah. That's what this is all about, isn't it?" She asked, clearly confused.

He didn't answer. Apparently, there was something else or maybe there wasn't. Maybe he was just testing her. Either way, she was officially weirded out and she firmly wanted this day to end, because it really couldn't get much worse.

"You are literate?"

"Yes, of course," she answered, half tempted to make a nasty snipe about not being the only one to state the obvious.

"Curious."

He regarded her more keenly, his sharp eyes locking on her to decipher the meaning behind her words. She wasn't lying and she knew he would know that. Demons seemed to have a pretty keen sense for deception. At least, dog demons did. He moved a bit closer, which didn't make her terribly comfortable, not that he gave a damn. Looking from the well to her, it disturbed him to realize she was almost protecting it. Standing in front of it to keep him from it, and to keep herself near it. It fairly reeked of ancient magic, as did the girl, and his curiosity was further piqued.

He had heard some fairly odd rumors as of late regarding his half-brother and the humans that accompanied him. Not that he gave a damn, but he was always one to indulge his own curiosity. This girl was a mysterious one and he had wondered about her, briefly, on occasion. Even so, she was just a lowly human, so he hadn't put much thought to her. Now he wondered if he were mistaken to so quickly quash his interest in her. She'd inadvertently raised questions about herself, ones that he had a passing interest in. There were many things that weren't clear about the girl. One thing was clear, something was going on here.

"Where did you learn?"

The first word that came to mind at this moment was, "_Crap_." She didn't say it, but she sure felt like she should. He'd come here on a simple mission, one that she wasn't really clear about...but he had a mission. And now, that mission was complicated by a simple slip of the tongue. Why couldn't she have waited for him to clarify things a bit better before answering? _Stupid Kagome!_ Instead, she just opened her big mouth and now he was looking at the well, and asking questions that she didn't necessarily want to answer. Especially seeing as this was Sesshoumaru. How did that little girl trust him so much, anyway? She wondered that now, more than ever. Her eyes darted around as her mind worked. Licking her lips, she came up with an answer that was truthful enough but also evaded the nasty subject of her origins.

"A school in my hometown." She said, blinking furiously as she tried to edge even closer to the well.

His eyes narrowed, and he moved closer to her in response, "Ah. And that would be where?"

She made a soft grunt, noticing he was really too close for comfort. Moving back, she noticed before it was too late that he'd herded her from the well. Now he stood between her and it. The taiyoukai looked from her to the well, staring for a moment at its bottomless depths before turning his attention back to her to wait for her answer.

"Far away from here."

"Really. How far?"

"Very far."

"Hn. Interesting." He said, slowly, "You don't look foreign to me...then again all humans do look alike to my eyes. Still, I've traveled far and wide, and no where in my travels have I encountered a human settlement that educates its women. This hometown of yours must be quite enlightened."

"Yeah, my hometown's weird like that."

"So it is." He intoned, looking at her more piercingly as he leveled his next question, "You're hiding something. What is it? Why do you keep looking at this well? What interests you so? It's only an old well. Or is it?"

"It's...it's nothing...I'm not hiding..."

He gave her a rather dark look, which startled her into silence. The questions he put to her were ones he'd had wanted to ask, from time to time, but hadn't because it hadn't really seemed that important to him. Until now, of course. Now, he decided he wanted to know...and she would provide him satisfactory answers. Not half thought out excuses and out right lies.

"You are a poor liar." He stated with seeming indifference, "You speak Japanese quite well, well enough for it to be your native tongue. Yet your manners and dress indicate otherwise. Additionally, you claim to be educated." He paused then, for dramatic effect before continuing on, "A rude, indecently dress, yet educated human woman is quite an oddity in this day and age. One might wonder where you came from, wouldn't you agree?"

"No, I'm s-su-sure there are a lot of rude, indecently dressed, educated women out there."

"Your impertinence doesn't fool me for a moment, human. I could care less where you came from..." He said, glancing at the well one more time before pointedly looking at her again, "or why you are here...I came because I was concerned about the ideas you've put into my ward's head...and now I wonder, where you might have gotten them from."

"I...buh..I-I..." She stammered, feeling put on the spot, and unnecessarily so.

Wasn't he the one who allowed his ward to see her? And if she'd put ideas into her head, why didn't he say something sooner? It wasn't like he hadn't noticed her dress and speech before. If it was that big an issue, he'd have done something when he'd come upon them in that field months ago. _'Consequences be damned_, ' she thought, deciding it'd be her new mantra.

"I don't see how it's any of your business where I come from. I haven't put ANY ideas into your ward's head." She said, pausing to breath in deeply to gather courage, "None that are dangerous anyway and if it really bugs you that much, then...then she doesn't have to visit us anymore. Break her heart, if you want. I was only teaching her what I knew to help her and if you're too short sighted to see that...well, that's not my problem. So go ahead. Allow her to be just like every other human, without any ideas in her head at all!"

Clapping a hand over her mouth, she gazed wide eyed at the taiyoukai, realizing her error much too late. She didn't know where that came from or why really. Her whole body was trembling from the sheer passion of those words. She'd only ever talked to Inuyasha that way but she didn't regret it. Even looking at his face, as coldly regal as it was, she didn't regret it. She couldn't tell what he was thinking, much less what he might do. More than likely, it wouldn't be good for her. Still, she wasn't going to regret. She'd done enough of that already. Never in her whole life had she been so insulted and in such a short time. By two separate people, no less. What next? Would the sky fall down on her? Would she find out she really does have some mysterious and incurable disease? Maybe someone could kill her cat, because that'd just make things ten times better. She couldn't help it, tears came to her eyes. They spilled down her cheeks ever so slowly and they burned. They burned her eyes and her flesh. They burned as they trailed down to their inevitable fall. Why did she have to deal with this kind of stuff? Why couldn't she just be a normal girl? And most importantly, why did she have to have such a big mouth!

Her lips thinned to a determined line as she tried to get a hold of herself. She furtively wiped the tears away before they could fall, even though she knew he could see. His eyes penetrated beyond her, beneath her...straight through her. There was nothing that he wouldn't see and it made her feel ashamed for being so weak in front of him. Ashamed, because she was as pathetic as he thought she was. Stupid, really. It didn't matter. What he thought didn't matter to her. Still, this judgment, his silent judgment of her was the last thing she needed right now.

Up until this point, she'd been fairly happy this summer. Rin and Shippou, and the time just the three of them spent together had made it that way. It had truly been the best summer she'd ever had since she was little. In fact, she could say with all honesty, Rin and Shippou were pretty much the only positive thing going in her life right now. Their time together had given her focus, a purpose.

Now that purpose was threatened.

Perhaps that's where her passion came from. She'd always felt sub-par, even in her own time. Flighty, forgetful, she wasn't nearly as smart as her brother and had been nothing but trouble for her Mum since the day she started Kindergarten. And then there was the whole thing with Inuyasha...and she really didn't want to think about it right now. She just felt like she disappointed so many people in her life, except for Rin and Shippou. They were the only ones she didn't disappoint. In their eyes, she could do no wrong. She was their big sister. Their superhero. Everything she'd always hoped to be for her own little brother but wasn't. Everything she wished she could be for everyone, but never could because of her weak heart.

But the most important thing she was to them was the very thing she needed. She held onto it like a life line because...because they were the only ones who made her feel that way.

To Rin and Shippou, she was special.

Not because she was Kikyo or a priestess. Not because she was the smartest person in the world or the strongest.

She was special because to them...she was Kagome.

There didn't need to be any explanation after that. To them, she was simply Kagome and they loved her for it. She'd been so blindingly overwhelmed by pain that she'd almost forgotten. And the taiyoukai had forced her to remember by threatening to take the one thing she needed more than anything away from her. She wouldn't let him take it away. Not that. He could take anything else, but not that.

Her eyes lit with righteous indignation. How DARE he! How dare he question her intentions! How dare he threaten to take the only good thing she had away from her? Not just her, but Rin and Shippou as well. You can't just let a kid have friends and then take them away for no good reason. It wasn't right or fair.

The more reasonable side of her personality argued, "_The world isn't often fair, though...is it?_"

She put that reasonable part of herself away in a box and stomped on it. At this point, she was beyond reasoning. Fear for her life had fled, as had any of the more rational instincts she had for self-preservation. She would do this or die trying!

Yet she felt so helpless because she knew there'd be nothing she could do if he decided... She'd be lucky if he just decided to not let Rin visit anymore. The reasonable voice refused to shut up, even in the box and it pushed for her to worry more about her neck right now than her relationship to one little girl. She stomped on it again and in her mind, she imagined chucking the box with the voice inside as far as the strength in her arms would allow. Reasoning had gotten her no where.

Once more something...someone...was taking something that was hers and making it theirs. Inuyasha had taken her self-esteem, her self-respect and quashed it underneath one of his bare, stinky feet. Now his brother was taking her purpose in life, the thing that had kept her going all these months. Did she really have any reason to be here then? She didn't really belong. Looking over at the well longingly, she wanted to dive headfirst into it and put all of this behind her.

She was tired of being leached of all her love and care, when it was so unappreciated. During all of this, she held his steely gaze, trying to shield her eyes from showing her weakness. No more. She let the defeat sink into them. Allowed him to see the utter desolation she felt. He already thought her weak and pathetic for her humanity, why disappoint him by pretending to be what she wasn't? Besides, this is what they wanted, for her to give up and go home. That's what she was going to do.

If only Sesshoumaru would move.

"You care for the child."

"Yes."

"Why? You have no obligation in regards to her welfare."

The tears she felt, the sadness, none of it went away. If anything, the piercingly cold question made her despair more. She wanted to know what he was trying to prove and why he was doing this to her. Perhaps it was the words that were unspoken in the question. Rin didn't belong to her, she wasn't Kagome's ward...she was his. The girl had no relation to her at all, so why did she give a tin shit what happened to her? And the only answer that came to mind was...because.

She frowned as she whispered breathlessly, "I don't need a reason. I just do."

"You mean to tell me you desire to help another without thought for reward? How amusingly _human_ of you." He said, and if she thought him capable of visible emotion, she imagined he might sneer as the insult left his lips but he didn't.

His face remained dismally blank with only the barest hints of revulsion at what he believed to be bald faced lies. He regarded her a moment longer, as if deciding whether or not to kill her with the kind of discriminating care one would take to pick out just the right vegetable. Without so much as a word, his gaze left hers. He walked past her as if they hadn't just had a conversation, like he hadn't, just for a moment, considered killing her. She was paralyzed but inside she was boiling. Her voice struggled to scream, to shout a million insults at his retreating back. She wanted to light into him like the focused rays of the sun as filtered through a magnifying glass. How she'd like to hold him under that ray until he popped! It was less a wish and more a burning desire. She realized then that it was probably a good thing she didn't have any super powers because she knew at this moment, she'd misuse them. Maybe it was a good thing she wasn't graced with the control of her power and the strength Kikyo possessed. If she did, a lot of demons would be dead for dreaming.

And as much as she wanted to fight back, to howl at him like the unrelenting wind, she stayed silent. Her mouth moved, but no words came. She surrendered to her inability and her continued weakness, allowing him to get away with insulting her once more. Worse, she was allowing him to win. There would be no more visits from Rin, she was sure of it. She let out a short, defeated sigh and hung her head. She balled one hand into a fist, clenching and unclenching it in frustration, as she realized she wouldn't be able to leave. Not until she was sure he was gone, and he wasn't. He stopped some six feet from her. His back was turned and he seemed to be waiting for something. She wished that whatever it was he was waiting for would come, because she wanted him gone so badly she could taste it.

They stood there with their backs facing each other for what seemed like an eternity. Each gazed at a different spot into the horizon, matching their view, infinity for infinity. Her tears had finally stopped and all she wanted to do was go home. Just go home for at least a couple of weeks to sort her head out and rest. She wondered, blithely, what he really wanted. She still had no clue, not that she gave a damn.

He spoke then, and in his voice stood a calm, imperial command, "You will continue to instruct my ward...on two conditions."

"And what would those conditions be?" She queried placidly.

"First, all lessons should meet with my approval beforehand. I don't wish my ward's head to be filled with vacuous, human half-truths."

She knew what he meant by that, but she was worried that he wasn't going to let the girl dream. And she thought to herself, "_Humans should be allowed to dream_." It was the kind of thing she'd never tell someone like him. He simply wouldn't understand. The kind of lessons he was asking of her were rote. He wanted the girl to be literate, so that she could become as cold and as calculating as he was...in her own, inferior human way. He didn't want her to dream of fireflies or rainbows. He didn't want her head to be filled with the scattered imaginings that she enjoyed everyday. It was sad, really. She wasn't sure she could do as told, but...Yes...it couldn't hurt to dream. Now wasn't the time, but he WOULD be made to see that Rin was human. And as a human, she deserved to know about her heritage. It was her right, and Kagome would not allow it to be denied. But for the sake of not arguing with the obstinate taiyoukai, she'd drop it for the time being.

"...and the second?"

His head tilted back a little so that he could look at her from the corner of his eye, "Your attire is wantonly inappropriate...if you are to instruct my ward, you will dress more decently, and in a manner that befits a tutor's station."

Her eyes widened and she gave a small huff of surprised annoyance. It was perhaps the most surreal thing she'd ever heard and she wasn't sure if she should be outraged, or amused. She held it back, but she had the deadly desire to question exactly what was wrong with how she dressed. Then she remembered what era she was in and she could almost kick herself.

"You find these conditions disagreeable?" He asked curtly, cutting her off before she could even answer. "If you care about my ward as much as you say, then you won't find it difficult to accede to my demands. You have a fortnight to decide."

He left without a single word more. For a good long time she stood there, staring into space before ambling tiredly towards the well. Her legs felt heavier than they should, as if someone had filled the insides with lead. There were no tears or wails of frustration this time, she was simply too tired for it. She jumped into the well and let the blue lights surrounding her. When the lights stopped, she looked up and sighed audibly with relief at the sight of the well cover. She was home. Thank god.

With what little energy she had left, she crawled out of the well and made a bee-line for her house. She entered listlessly. Walking past her mother, grandfather and brother without saying anything and they watched her go, their heads turning slowly to watch the retreating teenager. With a shrug, it was forgotten and they all went back to what they were doing before, as if Kagome hadn't just dragged herself through their comfortable sitting room like the walking dead.

She made it to her room and stripped off her disheveled clothes, dropping them all over the floor as she made her way to the bathroom. Carelessly, she threw Rin's sketchbook on her bed with some of her discarded clothes. At the moment, it sat there innocently forgotten. One bath, a large meal and a forty five minute long mother/daughter heart to heart later, Kagome was feeling in much better spirits. In fact, by going home, her mood had improved greatly. There were no great insights, no significant discussions, just a simple conversation between a mother and her daughter. Kagome had laid her feelings bare and told her everything that had happened. Her mother offered little advice, but plenty of reassuring platitudes...which she needed a lot more than advice at the moment. Later, she knew there would be a longer, more involved conversation with no clichés and actual advice. But for now...for now her mother gave her the comfort she needed and Kagome gladly accepted.

Best of all, her mother had brought her a glass of hot chocolate, with requisite marshmallows. And with a warm hug, she left Kagome to think while she went to look for her old archery uniform. Her mum couldn't help giving one bit of advice, which was to agree with the arrogant taiyoukai about her clothes. If she were to continue on in the feudal era, she really should blend in. Kagome didn't quite see how her mother's traditional archery uniform would help with that, except for the traditional part. Still...she wasn't in a mood to argue.

Instead, she sat quietly on her bed and sipped her hot chocolate, finally noticing the sketchbook she'd thoughtlessly tossed aside in her single minded quest to bathe. With quiet curiosity, she picked up the sketchbook and began to page through it. A soft smile graced her face as she gazed at Rin's clumsy hand writing that gradually became steadier. If she really decided to do like he asked, it'd change the whole dynamic of their days off. She'd have to shift the schedule of pure, uninterrupted fun, to one that included fun with learning. Though how to do it, that was the real rub. Fun and learning didn't often go together. She shook her head, not wanting to think about that yet. Instead, she quietly paged through the little notebook, while patting herself on the back. With each page, Rin made greater improvements. There were a few characters that needed to be straightened out and one in particular where she was clearly forgetting her stroke order, but overall, she was pleased. Maybe this tutoring thing wouldn't be so bad, after all.

She grinned softly to herself, idly flipping to the next page. Her grin widened. It was a drawing this time, a neat little drawing of Rin, Shippou and herself having what looked to be quite the picnic. Simply adorable. The next page contained more of the same, except this time it was a drawing of their game of Marco Polo. She flipped ahead, touched to see that Rin had drawn, with great care, depictions of their days together. The drawings were pretty good for a kid her age, very detailed, as if the girl really wanted to make sure she remembered everything. Turning the page, her smiled faltered a bit as she saw the subject. Rin had drawn a large tree. Underneath the tree were Rin, Shippou, and herself, not much of a surprise considering the previous pages. It was the other figure included in the drawing that was. Rin had drawn a figure dressed all in white sitting on the far side of their picnic. That figure didn't seem particularly happy about being there as he sipped his tea with blank disdain. But the fact that really shocked her was the placement. Rin had drawn Kagome's crudely drawn doppelganger happily sitting right next to Sesshoumaru.

Her eyes widened comically. Pursing her lips she turned the page, only to be greeted with yet another drawing where she and Sesshoumaru were far too close for comfort. Each page got worse and worse. Soon her little stick figure and his little stick figure were sitting side by side, holding hands. Their tiny stick figure fingers intertwined in such an innocent yet disturbing way that it made Kagome want to unhinge her jaw and eat her own head whole. Her cheeks flared as she sputtered in utter shock.

The last picture was the absolute worst.

Rin had drawn tiny stick Kagome in a wedding kimono, hugging tiny stick Sesshoumaru while tiny stick Rin and Shippou looked on happily. Kagome wanted to die. She wanted to find the deepest, darkest hole in the world, and once she found that spot, she would die. And then it hit her. THIS was what Sesshoumaru had been so upset about. He thought that she had...and would... and using Rin. The words were confused and broken in her mind as she tried to sort it all out. Once she could think again, she held a hand over her mouth as she openly laughed.

He thought...He thought she'd tried to use Rin to get to him. What a ridiculous notion! She lightly touched the paper, her fingers running over the coarse crayon lines as she gazed at it. So much trouble over something so silly! Her fingers rested on the stick figure's entwined hands. She shook her head and smiled. With the smile came a laugh that wouldn't stop. She fell back on her bed and laughed until her stomach hurt. Looking up at her ceiling, she sighed deeply as she rested an arm on her stomach. If nothing else, she had to say that Rin had a pretty vivid imagination. Perhaps TOO vivid. Honestly, her and Sesshoumaru? Ridiculous. She blew a strand of hair out of her face, contemplating her next move. When she got back, she'd have to explain a few things to Rin. Things she wasn't really sure how to say without hurting the poor kid's feelings, if she even got a chance to say them at all.

Damn Sesshoumaru. It'd all be so much easier without him. If it was just her, Rin and Shippou. Grunting, she closed her eyes a few minutes and let her mind rest in empty darkness. She stayed like that for a few seconds before sitting up again. Closing the sketchbook, she sat on the edge of the bed a moment. She had to get ready for bed, but for one reason or the other she felt like delaying the inevitable.

Holding the sketchbook in her hands, she gazed at the cover with a still amused smile on her face. A sharp rap at her window drew her out of her reverie. She let out a small yelp of surprise as she fell off her bed, startled by what she saw out the window. It was a dark, blustery night, with a light, eerie kind of rain that pelted the windows in just the wrong way. Ghosts walked on nights like these, and she always found herself jumping at shadows during this time of year. Her imagination was active enough and she hardly needed help from one misguided hanyou...who was sitting on her roof at the moment, his wet face pressed against the window.

Sooner or later, she knew he'd come but she hadn't expected it at this particular moment. She thought he'd at least wait until morning, instead of showing up in the dead of night, scaring her half to death. Opening the window, she leveled him with the harshest glare she could muster. Honestly, he had a lot of nerve.

"What're you doing here?"

He harumphed, glaring right back at her, "Tch! I should be the one asking that question! Why'd you take off like that!"

"WHY! I...YOU! YOU HAVE THE NERVE TO ASK ME THAT!" She exclaimed, only holding off on the sit word because she didn't feel like having to explain to her mom why they'd have to fix the roof. "AFTER WHAT YOU SAID? I OUTTA..."

"Outta what? Are you going to let me in or am I gonna soak out here all night?" He asked, with equal irritation.

Images of pushing him off the roof entered her mind and she narrowed her eyes, "Do you REALLY want me to answer that?"

"Listen...about that...I'm sorry, okay!" He said, his face the picture of frustrated confusion, "But...are you all right? I just...When I got to the well, I smelled that bastard brother of mine. I wasn't gonna come but...I was worried, all right! So just let me in!"

Her face softened a bit and reluctantly she let him in, closing the window after him. She felt suddenly very guilty for a list of reasons that she didn't want to think about too hard lest she give herself an aneurysm.

"I'm sorry...about yelling before and about running off. I should be more careful." She said, offering him a slightly melancholy welcoming smile, "Thank you...for worrying about me."

He blushed, his eyes widening fractionally before he turned away and huffed, "Don't get all emotional about it. I promised I'd protect you...not like it's a big deal."

She had to smile at his reaction. Stupid Inuyasha.

"Do you want a to--" She asked, her words cut off as unceremoniously shook himself off in the middle of the bedroom, "--wel?"

She opened her eyes, and looked blandly at the mostly dry hanyou who'd made himself at home on her bed.

"What're you glaring at?" He asked, itching an ear with one clawed finger to punctuate the question.

"Comfortable?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Just wondering." She said tiredly, and with a great sigh, she turned heel and started towards the bathroom to get a towel for herself.

"Oi! What's this?"

She turned to see what he was talking about and was horrified to find he held Rin's sketchbook in one clawed hand. Letting out a small squeak, she snatched it away from him with a scowl.

"Nothing. Just Shipou's sketchbook."

"If it's nothing, why'd you grab it like that?"

"Because...I promised Shippou I wouldn't let anyone else see it, that's why!"

He grumbled something about her coddling the little fox demon that she plainly ignored. She stuffed the sketchbook into one of her desk drawers, one of the few that had a lock on it. Slipping the rarely used key off her peg board, she locked the drawer and glared at Inuyasha. She gave him a look that told him exactly what she'd do to him if he suddenly got curious and thought about picking that lock.

Kagome wasn't entirely satisfied that she'd scared him into submission but at the moment, she didn't care. All she focused on was getting a towel for herself, and the sodden hanyou on her bed.

Anything else was incidental.

* * *

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**

I removed the author's note from this chapter because of the recent rule change regarding author's notes. For those reading this, I'm going to discontinue the author's note section of my stories. I have a community on LJ, which you can access in my profile. I'll be putting up any responses to questions or comments there.

Thank you all very much for all your support!

Ciao

Noa


	6. Early Autumn Skies

It was an unaccountably cheery, yet brisk autumn morning that broke merrily over the horizon. The sun shone through the Goshinboku's slightly yellowed leaves, the faded light filtered through the treetop and fell gently over the shrine's ground, dappling the weathered stones in interrupted shadow. The city beyond the shrouded shrine was bustling busily around them and to the casual observer it looked like business as usual in Tokyo. Anyone who really knew, though, could tell you that the city seemed pretty reluctant to wake up this fine autumn morning.

To be sure, there was a strange sense of languid calm that overhung the city and it permeated nearly every corner.

The blinking lights in Shinjuku blinked a little slower. The trains that twisted through the city crawled like caterpillars in the midsummer heat, making the bustling masses trundling towards the city a few minutes late. Some of the more frequent commuters would argue that the trains were always late but most right thinking people rarely pay attention to frequent commuters because honestly...what would they know?

Even so, things still seemed more relaxed than usual. Less hurried, which in modern Japan was a rarity. Even the birds flying over Tokyo bay seemed to soar just a bit more languidly, stretching their wings before diving into the sea for their next meal.

In a small house located just inside the Higurashi Shrine, one Higurashi Kagome was moving just as slow as the rest of the city. Snuggled into her bed, she curled her toes and pressed her face into the pillow with a delighted sigh. There was really nothing like sleeping in a real bed. With real sheets and a real comforter. With real pillows. That were really clean and smelt fantastic.

With another contented sigh, Kagome smiled sleepily and reveled in the amazing comfort and ease only found in her era. She was on the cusp of true wakefulness, her mind aware enough to know she really should be waking up and getting ready to start her day. But...how could she do that when it was sooooooooo comfortable and warm and nice in her bed and she was soooooooooo tired.

She made a funny little sound in the back of her throat and rubbed her face more thoroughly into her pillow. It felt so good just to sleep. Just to be here in her soft, warm bed and not have anything to do. If only that were the case.

It was truly ironic that she'd come home to take a break from the stress in the feudal era, only to be treated to an array of stress and tension in her own. She'd actually been looking forward to hunkering down and studying hard. Her mind was eager to learn and ready to fill with nice, tasty facts. Imagine her surprise when she arrived at school bright and early one morning to find that all classes had been cancelled for a two week cultural festival.

It broke the heart, really.

The worst part was, she'd been gone so long that she'd gotten completely shafted into doing the worst kind of last minute jobs and tasks that no one else wanted to do. To make matters worse, the jobs and tasks she was given weren't exactly her forte. She got shoved into a spot on the choir and she couldn't sing worth beans. She was guilted into helping out with the food for the event and the only real dish she could cook came out of packages. She was pushed onto the stage and forced to act in a rather ridiculous play and...well...she didn't think she was so bad at that. In fact, she thought she'd done kinda well.

That was beside the point.

She wasn't really comfortable with any of it but she'd humiliated herself for her friends and for the honor of her school. It had all just been a little too much for her to handle at that particular moment. Yet she'd some how managed not to bust a vein and just when she thought everything was going so well and nothing could go wrong...

Yes, as if things weren't bad enough, Inuyasha had taken it upon himself to tag along with his family and managed to make things worse. Not that she was coming down on him. He meant well...he always meant well but...it was just Inuyasha being Inuyasha, which is to say overprotective, a bit jealous and sometimes needlessly violent. But she couldn't really fault him this time. After all, he did save the entire school from a bunch of rampaging mushroom demons which was something she couldn't say with a straight face, but it was the truth. He did save them from demon mushrooms and that was a good thing, but for the gigantic hole he'd put in the auditorium.

Ah, but so is life. With rampaging demon mushrooms and holes in school auditoriums. Besides, what had the possibility of being a terribly embarrassing situation turned out all right in the end. The festival had been a big success, in part because of Inuyasha's rather dramatic, property damaging interference. Everyone was happy despite the destruction and anyway, the roof could be fixed.

So, no harm, no foul.

Even so, she had left the festival feeling weary and overstressed, falling onto her pillow that night with an audible flump. Unbeknownst to her, she'd been allowed to sleep longer than usual. On a normal Saturday morning she'd have to be up at the crack of dawn in order to be at school for her weekend classes. Luckily, the school had cancelled classes and Mrs. Higurashi had neglected to tell her daughter and she'd done it pretty much on purpose. She knew her daughter well. If Kagome had known she didn't have school, she'd have scheduled something else or found a way to make herself busy. That was her way. She was the kind of person who always had to have something to do, which was admirable but it tended to tire a body out.

Completely oblivious to her mother's insidious plot to give her the rest she needed, Kagome slept on and she would have stayed asleep had it not been for the interference from the family cat. Buyo didn't much understand the elder Higurashi's reasoning for letting his mistress sleep so long. In fact, had he understood, he probably would have been rather disgruntled.

A sleeping human was a human that wasn't paying him any mind which was an outrageous and an especially irksome thing when you're a feline in search of attention. There were plenty of other people to bother in the house. Souta was playing video games, and to be truthful, there was nothing better than interrupting the young boy when playing his video games. One good swat to his controller was enough to sate the most discriminating feline's taste for mischief making but he wasn't in a playing mood, so the young human wouldn't do. Mrs. Higurashi was the human he went to for food and he wasn't hungry.

Grandpa Higurashi was the human he'd go to for finding interesting things he shouldn't be playing with, but played with anyway because he enjoyed the sound that came out of the elderly man's throat when he caught him at it. Anyway, he'd already annoyed the elderly man this morning and there was hardly any fun in annoying someone twice. At least not at the moment. There was also the matter of the other occasional occupant of the house that sort of smelt like human and dog mixed. At all costs, this particular human's attentions had to be avoided, for he clearly had no conception of how to treat a feline properly.

This dog-human pulled at his legs and tail, which any self-respecting cat shouldn't have to put up with. Alas, he was so burdened. A truly lamentable situation which he had admirably tolerated for extended lengths of time. If Buyo was able to grasp the basic tenets of religion, he would have been happy to know that his place in the afterlife was quite secure.

After he'd annoyed Grandpa, he just barely missed catching the foul smelling dog-human's eye. He'd scooted away at just the right time, which was hard, being as plump and well fed as he was but one moved a little faster when trying to avoid foul smelling dog-humans and their unwelcome attention. Yes, this morning an hour or so of painful tail pulling was right out.

At the moment, Buyo was in the mood for the kind of attention only one Higurashi could give. Higurashi Kagome, his mistress, had one of the best laps to lie in--bar none--and she knew just the right places to scratch that felt the best. Plus, Buyo was quite convinced that of the four Higurashi, she was the warmest and most comfortable for sleeping. She hardly ever moved once sat on and was soft and rather nice smelling, and after having cleverly avoided the dog-human, Buyo was in need of some self-congratulation. So, it was with this in mind that the family cat decided it was his honor to wake the recalcitrant human up in order to facilitate his own mid-morning nap.

He patted her cheek lightly with a paw and was rewarded with a slight grunt and a bit of movement and not much else.

Most dissatisfactory.

For Kagome's part, she had almost entirely ignored the increasingly annoying pawing at her face. It was sort of a game between cat and human, to see who gave up first. As of this particular morning, Buyo had won almost every round as he was a very persistent cat who didn't easily give up on most things, especially if it was something he was intent on getting. He continued to softly pat her face and nose until she swatted him away with a strangled cry. This worked for about two point five seconds. The cat came back for more. She swatted and he back off. This went on for around ten to twenty minutes, until Buyo had tired of merely patting her on her cheek. It was time to up the ante. He waited for Kagome to turn over and once she had, he settled himself on her chest and began to lick at her cheek. He licked and licked and licked and licked, too absorbed in the task of licking to notice her squelched up face and the annoyed sounds coming from her throat.

Kagome couldn't take it anymore. She held out her hand and tried to deflect the cat's licking. It worked; in so much as he began to lick her hand instead of her face. Not a huge improvement but at least the skin on her cheeks wasn't being sanded off. Opening an eye, her entire view was obscured by the cat's face as it fastidiously licked the palm of her hand, his almond shaped eyes tightly closed. She moved and his attention was stolen from her hand and back to her cheek. His bright golden eyes and long pink tongue were all she could see as he almost lunged at her face and licked her.

She made a gurgling sound of disgust as she quickly sat up, sputtering as he jumped off her chest, "Aggggh, Cat! Your breath smells like butt."

The cat looked up at her from the floor with a clearly affronted glare, his tail twitching. He sniffed and sauntered out of the room, completely ignoring the still groggy human behind him. Kagome watched the cat go, her mind about a second behind the rest of her. Then she looked over at her clock and almost had a heart-attack.

"I'M LATE!"

Shrieking, she leaped out of bed and began furiously digging through her closet for her uniform. Her thunderous steps could be heard throughout the house and it wasn't long before someone came up to investigate. Unfortunately for him, Inuyasha had been sent and had caught Kagome in a rather embarrassing state of undress.

The sitting he got was terrible.

About five seconds after that, her mother came up and explained things which didn't save Inuyasha a bruised face to go along with his bruised ego. He made this fact well known which only earned him another accidental sitting, which was followed by another preemptive sitting as an insult to her character was clearly forthcoming.

And so it was another morning broke over the Higurashi household and though it started a bit slower than most mornings, if you asked anyone in the family their opinion, they'd all agree...it was quite normal.

After the late start, Inuyasha and Kagome had set out for the feudal era together, with a large bundle of supplies from the modern world in tow. Kagome had been not only busy with the festival, she'd also been busy with other plans that she wasn't at liberty to share with her companions...save Shippou.

Her promise to a certain arrogant yet intimidating taiyoukai wasn't forgotten. It had, in fact, been ever-present in her mind since the day she'd come home. She had essentially promised to teach his ward and at the time it had seemed like the right thing to do, but now she had her doubts. First of all, how in the world was she going to do it? There were so many logistical problems that she couldn't really wrap her head around it. Seeing the child as infrequently as she did, it'd be hard to teach her much of anything because learning required repetition. If they traveled in the same group, well, that'd be another thing all together. She'd taught Shippou a lot of stuff while on the road but for Rin that just wasn't a possibility.

So, she could see the girl more often but that also presented certain problems. One of those problems being a tall, white haired taiyoukai, who happened to be the hated half-brother of her friend and companion...Seeing the girl more often equaled the fear of being found out and being found out might mean a fight and fights were bad. Very, very bad. Also, he had seemed rather temperamental about the choice of subject matter, which made what she ought to teach the girl really hard to figure out. Off the subject, Kagome wondered if he'd check. On one hand, he might be just paranoid enough to do that. On the other, he might not give a tinker's cuss about what she taught, just so long as it didn't involve certain kinds of daydreams. Namely, the very embarrassing daydreams Kagome had found drawn in the girl's sketch pad.

There was another mind bending, brain breaking thing she had to think about. How exactly to bring up to the little girl that drawing stuff like that was just plain wrong on so many levels? How could she crush a little girl's dreams completely without crushing her spirit as well?

It was a miserable fate she was born into.

Her mother had been some help. Anyway, she'd figured out what to do about what to teach. They'd gone shopping together one day and found several nice, simple workbooks that taught hiragana as well as several small books for children just learning to read. It wasn't much, but it was something. She'd also picked up a couple of coloring books, more crayons and a pair of pencils for both Rin and Shippou. It would all work out somehow, she was sure.

Once that part was taken care of, she came the most odious part of her promise. The change in wardrobe. Initially, Kagome hadn't told her mother much about this part of the promise because it was far too embarrassing. She'd just indicated she wanted to blend in a bit better and had suggested her mother's old archery uniform because, number one, she liked it and well...there really wasn't a number two. She just liked it and it wasn't a kimono, which was good and it wasn't a priestess's ceremonial robes which was downright excellent. Then her mother got the bright idea that they ought to try and be authentic. Her mother had started doing..._insert startled gasp here._..research.

Yes, her mother researched the feudal era and she found out exactly what type of clothing was appropriate to wear. To Kagome's horror, a traditional tutor from the feudal era wore an outfit very similar to the one that Jaken wore. When she'd been shown a picture of it, she'd almost passed out from the horribleness of it all. She'd stated emphatically that there was no way in this world or the next that she'd ever wear anything like that. Of course, her mother had asked for an explanation. Kagome had tried to explain why, really she had, but how do you tell your mom you don't want to look like the imp that follows the very person you're trying, albeit unwillingly, to please? Well, okay, she could have said all that...but sometimes the route from her brain to mouth had issues.

She'd managed to stutter out an uncertain sounding, "Because...that's all."

Her mother just shook her head, and said, "All right. Whatever you say, dear but I think you'll find you'd be better off going with something more authentic...and traditional."

The emphasis her mother had put on the last part of the sentence hadn't been lost on her. Her mother was a stickler for things like that. It was honestly a horrible experience taking her to period movies, because she'd always point out the inaccuracies. Kagome, on the other hand, believed that there was a certain amount of artistic license that should be allowed. She also believed in not breaking the suspension of disbelief. As long as the artist makes you believe, who honestly cares if it's authentic or not. Leave authenticity to the historians...that's what Kagome believed.

She also believed in not dressing like a slimy, smelly little imp from the feudal era and when that was finally explained, her victory was short, sweet and very final.

So, the archery uniform had been modified and all parties, for the most part, were satisfied. Even Inuyasha was pleased though a bit puzzled at first as to why she decided at this point to try and blend in. Of course, she couldn't tell him the real reason, so she'd made up a perfectly reasonable alternative which wasn't a lie so much as the truth by omission. It would be nice to blend in a bit more. Sure, it was kind of funny at first being taken for a demon but after awhile, it really got tired. Plus, with all the fighting they did...well...her legs looked like hell and the weather was getting colder anyway.

All things considered, dressing a bit more conservatively and attempting to blend in was a really great idea. She'd explained it that way to Inuyasha and surprisingly, he understood and he'd even complimented her on having a good idea. Then he made a rude comment--which she wouldn't repeat much less take the time to remember-- about her old clothes as pertaining to other demons, specifically Kouga, and she had to sit him again. There really was no choice.

Once over on the other side, she'd gotten more attention from her other friends. They all complimented her on her good sense, though there was an odd kind of melancholic wistfulness in Miroku's tone that earned him a glare from both Kagome and Sango. The only one who wasn't entirely happy about this change was Shippou, who'd always liked the foreign looking clothes she'd worn before. He'd put up quite the fuss and Kagome had promised to talk to him later about it...in private.

Even with the full explanation, Shippou wasn't happy. He didn't like the idea of anyone telling his big sis what to do. Harumphing most mightily, he begrudgingly accepted that she'd done what she had to, making a not-so-quiet complaint about arrogant dogs and their bullying ways.

After all the hubbub died down, they left for the open road. They'd traveled for several days without finding any shards. There were a couple of clues here and there, but they turned out to be false leads and in general, a waste of their time. Oddly enough, it didn't produce the normal amount of discontent in the group it had before. Inuyasha chalked it up to them only just being on the road and too near their home base. Of course they wouldn't find shards here, it was way too obvious.

"If I was a lower class demon with a jewel shard, I sure as hell wouldn't stick around, waiting for someone like me to take it! If I was them, I'd haul ass up the nearest mountain and pray that I don't get found," then he paused for a moment, adding with a cocky smile, "And they better pray too. For makin' me look so hard, I ain't gonna be in the mood to be merciful."

Because, of course, everyone in the world knew that Inuyasha was looking for the shards and everyone in the world also knew how much he kicked ass. Sometimes, his outlook on life was positively the most darling thing ever. Not to say there wasn't some truth in his boast. Besides, his confidence was sort of catching and when you got right down to it, he was a force to be reckoned with. She couldn't count the number of demons and humans both that underestimated him because he was a half-breed. Most of them were either dead or forced to eat their words.

With the exception of one or two nameless parties who were just too stubborn and arrogant to admit defeat. That one or two nameless party had been absent as of late. Truthfully, she was sort of relieved because she really wasn't looking forward to _an Encounter with Sesshoumaru Part TWO--Electric Boogaloo--_because it wouldn't be nearly as funny as it was in her head. She was just trying to find humor in it because just thinking about it was giving her ulcers.

Again, she was presented with the fact that things would be much easier if Sesshoumaru wasn't involved. That she had to deal with him to see Rin was just...annoying. No worse than annoying...it was obnoxious. Maybe it was both, abnoying. Yes, that sort of fit. It was this very train of thought that had gotten her into trouble, as she'd just lost the most recent round of the word game she'd been playing with Shippou.

He was currently doing his victory dance, which was just too cute.

"All right, all right. You won! Stop dancing already!"

He paused and laughed, striking a dramatic victory pose, "And don't you forget it!"

Yes, the two weeks had passed and there was no sign of the irritable demon lord or his ward. Still, the hour and a half or so allotted for their time together went on unabated and unsupervised, as it had always had been. Another week passed and then another after that and both Kagome and Shippou had come to the sad conclusion that the third party in their merry band would most likely never again make an appearance.

On this rather gray and quiet day, they found themselves in a small pasture underneath the bowers of a great oak tree. They'd long ago discarded the hope that Rin would ever visit them again and so they'd settled back into their old routines before they'd met her which was to say they spent most of their time frogging around.

Today was unusual because Kagome wasn't really in the mood to run around like crazy. She'd twisted her knee a bit in a fight with a demon three days ago and it was still sore. The cold didn't really help matters.

So, instead of horsing around, they sat quietly under the giant oak tree and played Shiritori, a word game Kagome's Grandfather had taught her when she was very young. The first player said a word and the next player had to say a different word made out of the last syllables of the word before it. Each word could only be used once and you could only use nouns, adjectives and verbs were right out. It was really a test of one's knowledge of words and the ability to call those words up quickly. It was also a mildly interesting way to pass the time on a crisp autumn day.

"Shishiodoshi!"

"Shiruko!"

"Koi!"

"AH! I CAN'T THINK OF ANY! THERE ARE TOO MANY WORDS WITH 'I'!"

"HA! D'ya give up, then!"

"NO! Ah...um...aaaaaaaaa...Ika!"

"Katamari!"

"Risaitaru!"

"No fair using modern words, Kagome!"

"Ah! Sorry!"

And so it went on and on without end until one person was a bit slower on the draw than the other or they hit a word with a 'N' at the end. Then the game was either forfeited or won, depending upon how hard they argued about it or didn't argue about it...or whether or not they'd just stop arguing all together and burst into wild gales of laughter, because that's just the way things were with Shippou and Kagome.

They were in the middle of a particularly heated round when Shippou stopped mid-word. At first, Kagome had thought that he'd simply lost his train of thought, thereby winning her this round. But something was off. He'd gone pale and his eyes widened and then he pointed behind her. Then she felt it. A demonic aura. She cursed herself for not feeling it sooner. Sure, she could console herself with the fact that it really wasn't something she was all that good at, but she'd tried to become better.

Not better enough, apparently.

Wincing and licking her lips, she whispered, "It's right behind me, isn't it?"

The kit nodded.

_Ohcrapohcrapohcrapohcrapohcrap_...

Her mind raced, and when it crossed the finish line, she'd come up with only one, freakishly lame idea. Looking Shippou in the eye, she wiggled her fingers like pair of legs and mouthed the word, "Run." He shook his head and her gaze grew incredulous. There was no time. She pushed the kit back and yelled at him to run this time, turning around to face the demon. If she was lucky, she'd be able to hold the demon off until Inuyasha came back...and somehow in the world in her head that might work.

Taking a battle stance, she shouted, "ALL RIGHT, DEMON! YOU DECIDED TO PICK ON THE WRONG HU--" and then the air was taken right out of her.

It was Sesshoumaru. He stood around ten feet from her, looking out into the distance with an expertly bored expression. Glancing at her from the corner of his eye the look he was giving her seemed to say, '_Are you done, yet?_' without actually saying it. He turned at his leisure and gazed long and hard at her. So long and hard that it became uncomfortable for her to keep eye contact. She had the strong desire to just break it and look at her feet, but she resisted the urge. Even if she was completely embarrassed by her outburst, and in fact, there were no words for the level of embarrassment she was feeling at that moment. Her cheeks were bright, cherry red and they felt like they were on fire but her gaze remained resolute. She wasn't really sure what he thought of any of it, because he was stone cold silent. Nothing in his face or his manner revealed anything about his interior workings. He just stood there, staring at her with a cold expression and not saying a word.

A more cowardly person would have crapped their pants by now.

Kagome stood her ground as her embarrassment turned into annoyance which turned into out and out outrage that meandered around a bit before becoming anger. That stupid dog had given her ulcers and made her wait for weeks, only to show up now acting all high and mighty. If her mother hadn't raised her so well, she'd be tempted to be very rude right now. In point of fact, she was more than just a little tempted. She really, really wanted to be rude to him and only held it back by a thin thread. He was just lucky he wasn't Inuyasha, because then she'd really unload on him. The jerk.

With a long breath, she bit the inside of her lip and tried to sound as normal as possible, speaking in the most civilized tone she could come up with, "Oh...I apologize," and she bowed deeply, "I didn't know it was you."

"Hmph," was his unconcerned reply.

It was interesting the vast array of emotion one could read into that one simple 'Hmph'.

"_Hmph, pathetic humans and their equally pathetic senses._"

"_Hmph, who did you think it was, Toyotomi Hideyoshi?_"

"_Hmph, I don't care about anything you just said because you're boring and human, and I'm ignoring you._"

"_Hmph, that's a really neat looking cloud...oh...what, were you talking to me?_"

"_Hmph, I'm an emotionally constipated bigot who has nothing better to do than look down on everyone else because of my own low self-esteem that probably has a lot to do with abandonment issues and the fact that I'll never be as cool as my dad, who disliked me so much that he gave me a sword that was supposed to make me less heartless and it did work for a little while but then I regressed to being a bastard all over again. Now, if we could get back to the matter at hand, I'll go on intimidating you, as per our agreement, so if you wouldn't mind obliging, please cower in terror...ah...ah...ummmm...oh...ah, yes, you stupid human. Thankyousoverymuch. _"

Kagome was snapped out of her reverie by the politest cough she'd ever heard. Registering it that it came from Sesshoumaru, she found herself a bit puzzled.

She pinched herself.

"Yep, I'm awake," she thought to herself as she stood up straight, looking at the demon lord who wasn't really paying any attention to her.

He was staring out at the horizon again. She wasn't sure what he might be looking at or looking for. He was just staring. Maybe at nothing. Possibly at something. Whatever it was he was doing, he didn't think it was important enough to share it with her or maybe she wasn't important enough to share that information with. Either way, she was out of the loop. Ten minutes passed, then twenty and he hadn't said anything. Didn't move, just stared. Ten minutes later, Shippou tired of pretending to play while simultaneously ignoring Sesshoumaru. He jumped up onto Kagome's shoulder and joined her in staring at the eerily silent taiyoukai, who was staring out at nothing...or again, possibly something.

Tugging her collar to get her attention, Shippou whispered in her ear, "What's he doing?'

Carefully turning her head, Kagome whispered back, "I have no idea."

"I'm bored."

"So am I," she agreed, adding, "and I think my legs have fallen asleep."

"You think he can hear us?"

The "He" in question turned and glared at them.

Kagome's eyebrows lifted and she tilted her head to whisper, "I think that's a big 'Yes'."

Sesshoumaru's eyes narrowed a fraction before turning back to the sky. And another five to ten minutes was wasted on that before he decided to speak, slowly, "An archer's uniform?"

Kagome hadn't really been paying attention, again, and almost missed what he'd said. If it hadn't been for Shippou's timely intervention in the form of repeating what he'd said, she'd have missed it entirely. And once the question and the disdainful tone sunk in, she looked down at herself to see what was so objectionable about what she was wearing.

She looked up at him and the confused look on her face served as her reply. What was wrong with it? It was decent, wasn't it? And then she vaguely remembered what he'd said the last time they'd met. _You will dress more decently, and in a manner that befits a tutor's station_...in a manner that befits a tutor's station. And a dressing for a tutor's station would include the traditional garb that all tutors were required to wear. She mentally faced palmed as her mother's words rose from the grave and began to circle her head, haunting her like no other words could possibly do.

Interiorly, she berated herself, "_Crap. Crap, crap and more crap!_"

Outwardly, she remained innocently surprised as if to say, 'What? This was the best I could do at such short notice.'

"Is there something wrong with it?"

He turned back to the sky for more staring. She almost let out a groan right then and there. Ten minutes later she was near the point of tears when he turned his back, apparently tired of staring at nothing and/or something. Looking over his shoulder, he appraised her again, grunting in what one might call approval or maybe it was disapproval because the soft exhalation "Hn" was a bit harder to read than "Hmph", comparatively speaking. However, she did read into the 'Hn' that he very much doubted she deserved to wear an archer's uniform and there was a very indignant part of her that wanted to prove that 'Hn' wrong. She watched him stride away with the utmost confidence as if he was the ruler of the universe, and she was just lucky to breathe the same air he did.

And she found herself grumbling inwardly, "..._All high and mighty_...grumble..._think you're so special_...grumble..._almost shot your other stupid arm off once_...grumble, grumble..._weren't so big then_..._jerk_..."

Then it occurred to her that he was leaving without so much as an explanation, much less a word, good or bad, about his decision to let her teach Rin. Was she acceptable or was the fact that she wasn't in traditional tutor's robes unacceptable? And what the hell did 'Hn' mean anyway! It could mean anything!

And now the stupid, jerk of a youkai was just leaving without even explaining what the hell he meant by 'Hn' and there wasn't a damn thing in the world she could do about it. She felt like she was either going to cry or spit bullets, or maybe she was going to do both at the same time.

"_He was just_..._and_..._such an infuriating_..._with the things_..._and_..." then her mind trailed off helplessly, before adding as an after thought, "_Grumble, grumble, indeed_."

He was one of the few people in her life that had left her so sputtering mad that her eyes crossed just thinking about it. Shaking, she clenched and unclenched her fists, just waiting for the moment he disappeared from view. Because the moment he did, she was going to have to punch something or scream.

She was so mad that she didn't see the dragon flying straight at her, nor did she see the figure atop the dragon that was waving enthusiastically at them. Shippou saw her and waved back. He looked at Kagome, his expression brighter and cheerier than it had been in weeks.

Then he froze.

She was giving _The Look_.

THE Look she'd give just before sitting Inuyasha into oblivion and suddenly, he thought that Sesshoumaru should count himself lucky that he didn't wear a subduing necklace because if he did, right now there'd be a hundred foot crater in the ground with him at the bottom of it. He poked her face until she paid attention to him. Shippou almost jumped a foot in the air when she turned her gaze on him, her eyes full of pure, unadulterated fury. The hair on the back of his neck stood on end. Kagome angry was one of the scariest things on earth. No demon, not even the terrifying Thunder Brothers, could compare. She was really that scary.

To her credit, her eyes softened a bit when she recognized the fear in his face. Luckily, he had never managed to make Kagome angry enough to give him The Look. In fact, he usually was the one who would help her wipe The Look off her face and really, he was proud to do it, though sometimes it was hard. Sometimes, he'd rather face Naraku by himself than The Look. Shaking his head, he smiled feebly and turned her head with a tiny, clawed hand to show her what he'd taken care to point at. Soon, the pointing was moot as she could hear what he wanted to bring to her attention.

It was Rin. She was riding Ah-Uh and she was calling their names.

All her rage dissipated. Her fists stopped clenching. Her eyes stopped blazing and she smiled. It was open, free and genuine. Shippou was relieved. There were very few things in this world that could dissipate The Look, thank the gods Rin was one of them. She stepped forward, anticipating the dragon's landing. And when he finally did land, she bent down on one knee and held her arms out. Rin impacted with her seconds later, hugging her so hard that she almost knocked her clear over.

"I MISSED YOU!" the little girl shouted in her ear.

Ignoring how much it hurt, she just laughed lightly and replied in kind.

The next few minutes were chaotic as best. There was a lot of talking done all at once and though some might find it hard to follow, they all seemed to understand. After they'd caught up, Kagome realized that they'd have little real time for any kind of lessons. So, instead, they played a few more rounds of Shiritori which could almost be a lesson in and of itself.

The autumn sun set quietly on this scene, splaying rays of golden light through equally golden leaves. It as a spectacular display set off by the stark, grey sky. As the three companions bid their farewells and promises for their next meeting, none quite paid attention to the taiyoukai who hadn't left during their entire time together. He'd stood by quietly staring at the sky and thinking, as he was wont to do. Whether or not he'd listened in on their conversation was anyone's guess but the fact that he stayed spoke volumes.

He disliked mystery and unlike his brother, he was keen to gather facts before attacking a problem. Whether or not the young priestess was a problem was also a mystery, as Sesshoumaru kept his own council on his own affairs and no one else had the right to know whether or not he was interested in them. Boredom was his weapon and he used it liberally.

His golden eyes took in the sun and the leaves, never straying to the humans just behind him. Not until Rin had jumped atop Ah-Uh. The beast rose from the ground and began to fly into the sky, taking the girl with it.

It wasn't until Rin was long gone that Kagome and Shippou noticed that Sesshoumaru had not left with her and that he was, in fact, still standing not ten feet away from them with his back turned. Instead of noticing him, she noticed the wind picking up a bit and for once, it was Kagome who examined the sky. Typhoon season wasn't over yet. Holding back a stray tendril of hair that had slipped out of the loose bun she'd tied it into, she squinted as if that'd somehow help her divine what Mother Nature had in store.

"I think a storm is coming," she mumbled absently.

The kit on her shoulder furrowed his eyebrows and sniffed, replying solemnly, "I think you're right."

"We should go."

But before she could turn and leave, something stopped her. She glanced around, hoping to figure out what it was. Naturally, her eyes were drawn to the white of his clothes that stood out so brightly against the muted autumn tones. He was still here?

At that moment, he turned and looked her straight in the eyes; the sheer force of his gaze was enough to make her breathless with fear. She felt like she was climbing a mountain, where the air was too thin and too cold to breathe. Exhaling shakily, she forced herself to swallow, trying not to notice how dry her mouth had become. A thousand seconds passed or so it seemed, where he just stared at her and she at him, and there was nothing but the faint sounds of the wind through the trees to break the silence.

His hair and clothes moved restlessly in the wind, the almost too bright rays of the sun highlighting his dangerous otherworldliness. The crumpled leaves at his feet stirred, as he slowly levitated off the ground. Bright, white light cocooned around him. A rapport sounded. Kagome and Shippou both flinched at the sound, which was loud even to human ears and when they opened their eyes, the light and Sesshoumaru was gone.

Kagome placed a hand over her heart, as to stop it from beating so fast. First he gave her ulcers, now a heart condition. Once her breathing and her heart slowed, she turned as calmly as she could back to the things they'd left beneath the tree. Sesshoumaru was quickly forgotten as the first drops of rain fell from the sky. The wind blew just a bit more harshly and the rain began to sting. The two friends ran laughing back towards the traveler's hut they'd set up came at, fear left behind them as they looked forward to the next day.

Note: If you'd like the translation of the words they used in their game of Shiritori, please visit my Live Journal community Yume Jijnu. A link to which can be found in my profile!


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